第九八三萌、围殴情圣
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“不要命算个屁,老子为了美女连祖宗都敢不要,美女还是不要我啊。”
台下丑男们抱成一团,失声痛哭。
李岩也不禁大汗:我他喵的什么也没干啊,这又怪我?不过程瑶迦这姑娘确实是个好姑娘啊,看她好像很伤心的样子,回头我得和她好好谈淡,究竟发生了什么误会。都怪丁敏君,是这货又给我搞些麻烦出来。
李岩恶狠狠地瞪了丁敏君一眼,低声道:“看我不收拾你。”
没想到丁敏君居然不怕,对着他抛了个媚眼,然后低声道:“要收拾我只管来啊,今晚三更,庄后小树林,任你怎么欺负我都行……十八般模样、二十四桥明月夜、洞玄子三十六式、孙悟空七十二变……”
“噗!”李岩大汗:“我说的收拾你不是这个意思!”
“居然不是这些招式?”丁敏君大惊:“难道传说中的梁山泊一百零八好汉你都会?”
李岩大吃一惊:“纳尼?孙悟空七十二变我都已经觉得够高端了,完全没听说过,居然上面还有个梁山泊一百零八好汉?这尼玛究竟是何等凶残的招式?”
丁敏君低声道:“奴家愿意和你一起研究新花样,咱们两夫妻来开创人类的新纪录,创造个三千大千世界,你觉得如何?”
“三千?乖乖我的个妈……”李岩面色大变,连退十步,这还要不要人活了?十八般模样都让我觉得非常高端了,你这女人一开口就是三千?人类的身体能摆出这么多花样吗?另外,我什么时候和你成了夫妻?休得胡说八道。哥就是为了不被你要挟着娶你,才自暴身份的。
见李岩还是一幅鱼死网破,不肯娶她的样子,丁敏君柳眉一竖:“好哇,这是你自己坑自己,可不要怪奴家无情了。”
她突然双手掩脸,大哭道:“各位大哥,情圣现在就在我面前了,我要他负起责任来娶我,但他居然还是不肯,好坏啊,伤透了人家的心啊……呜,哇……各位大哥帮我啊。”
美女一哭,丑男震怒!
整个山庄都回荡着丑男们的怒吼,周围的群山都被震动,天上的太阳公公探出头来看一眼,大惊,赶紧躲回了云朵后面,正在京城奋笔写书的三十二公公突然有所感应,遥遥地向着聚贤庄的方向看了一眼,掐指一算,喃喃地道:“嗯,什么也没算到。”
“揍他!”
“打死这个骗了妹子又不负责的情圣。”
“把他的脸打得像我们一样丑。”
一群丑男率先冲了上来。
到了这个地步,李岩也知道不必解释了,丑男们都红了眼,再加上一个丁敏君兴风作浪,这还解释得清个毛,为今之计,只能杀出重围。
这时最前面的两人已经冲到,两枚拳头直奔李岩,这两拳打得虽然虎虎生风十分有力,但李岩却看出来来人并不想要他的命,甚至没想把他打伤,因为这两拳打的都是那种很痛很痛,但却不会伤人的软肉位置。看来丑男们也知道,情圣罪不致死,他们只是单纯的想要殴打帅哥出气罢了。
李岩苦笑不得,我真的不是帅哥啊,不久前还被郑克爽和陆展元两个真正的帅哥结过梁子呢,你们要打帅哥应该找那两人去……但转念一想,那两人都已经被自己杀了……
他伸出右掌,轻描淡写向前一挥,那两枚拳头就被他带歪了,两个丑男一起摔倒在地。
但来敌数百,放倒两个,后面还有,又是三个拳头打到,李岩摇了摇头,又挥了挥手,于是又是三个丑男摔倒在地。但这三人之后,又跟着来了五拳……
李岩不得不打起精神,凝神以对,要知道丑男们虽然武功不高,但毕竟数量基数在那里,打倒二三人,二三十人,甚至打倒二三百人,也未必管用,他们依然围了个里三层,外三层,疯狂地向里面围过来。
而且李岩这人是有原则的,别人手下留情,他也不能下死手不是?人家打他身上肉多的地方,他也不可能去打别人的骨头,那样未免有不够骑士精神。因此,刚刚被李岩打倒的人,拍了拍屁股,大喊一声:“洒家还能再战。”又一次投入战圈。
于是,聚贤庄里陷入一片混战之中,只见李岩左拳右掌,在丑男堆里来回纵跃,不停的将人打倒,被打倒的打两个滚,又爬起来再战,人山人海,无数拳脚交替,打得当真是伏尸百里、血流成河、日月无光……
(编辑大人戴起了个拳击手套:“三十二公公,你不是说没打伤人吗?怎么就伏尸百里、血流成河了?给我个合理的解释。”三十二公公大惊:“我这是烘托,烘托啊……”编辑大人挥出一个上勾拳,再接一个直拳,然后一个左勾拳,看着被打倒在地,满脸是血的三十二公公,冷哼道:“这才叫血流成河!至于伏尸百里嘛……嘿嘿……”他一边笑着,一边拿出了一把电锯……)
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