第一零三七萌、悟剑的御姐
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御姐见李岩一头大汗的样子，哼哼：“不用这么吃惊，我一看你就知道你是天才，只要你好好练一练，到四十岁时候就会理解什么叫心中有剑了。”
李岩的脸抽搐了一下：“你多少岁？”
御姐嘻嘻笑道：“本小姐今年二十八。”
“你不是说天才也要四十岁才能心中有剑？丫的你才二十八！”
御姐笑道：“因为我不是天才，我是超级天才呀。我在十岁那一年，用一柄利剑与河朔群雄争锋。十五岁时爱用软剑，刚柔并济，可惜误伤义士不详，弃之深谷。二十岁前持重剑横行天下，二十五岁用木剑，摘叶飞花，皆可伤人。现在二十八岁，连木剑都不用了，摘叶飞花都不必了，只要动一动念头，心中之剑已足可伤人。”
李岩呆了一呆：“我知道了，你是剑魔，独孤求败。”
“我的确是剑魔，但我叫独孤丽，不叫独孤求败呀。”她说到这里，突然喜道：“我觉得独孤求败这名字也挺不错的，以后就改名叫求败吧，哇哈哈哈哈。”
李岩以手捂脸，伤不起，在路边吃个也能吃出剑魔独孤求败，这还要不要人活了？不过就算是剑魔也不能吹牛逼啊，什么心中有剑，就是扯蛋，李岩大叫道：“不要扯了，不就是把内力凝结成剑气射出体外伤人吗？什么心中有剑，骗人呢。这招我也会……”李岩又捡了个木桩过来，挥手使出六脉神剑，六道剑气射出去，那木桩也咔嚓咔嚓变成了一堆木条。
独孤御姐楞了楞，脸蛋微红：“什么嘛，你早说你会无形剑气，我就不装逼了，真没劲，人家在山里悟剑好孤独哦，好不容易碰见个可以装逼的对象，你一句就把人家揭穿了，太不好玩了。”
李岩扁嘴道：“少扯，你不是有一只大雕做玩伴吗？那只大雕呢？”
独孤御姐笑道：“前些天我在山上玩，见一群猎人放猎犬抓兔子，我就放出了大雕去抓猎犬，然后它就自己玩去了，暂时没回来。”
李岩以手捂脸：我的个天，别人放猎犬抓兔子，你是放猎鹰去抓猎犬，是谁把你教得这么别扭的？不行，我得离这女人远，不然说不定就被带进沟里去了。
“小帅哥，我看你就觉得你很有钱的样子。”独孤御姐伸手道：“让姐姐打劫钱买件衣服吧，你看我现在这造型，快不能见人了。”
“没钱你可以找工作呀，一天到晚窝在山里做啥？”李岩表示不满。
“悟剑呀！”
“你不是已经达到大成，心中有剑了？还悟个菜篮子啊。”
“哦，这么说来倒也是。”独孤御姐仔细地想了半天，还是伸手道：“那我不悟了，离开深山去城里混混，但是我身上这套衣服在山里还能混，到城里就完全不能混了吧，你还是让我打劫钱买套新衣服吧。”
李岩四十度仰面朝天，拿出一张银票道：“拿去买药吃！”
“我是要买衣服，不买药。”独孤御姐严重抗议。
李岩摊手道：“买药吃就是让你随便用的意思，不要深究，你在山里太久，对外面的流行用语不清楚，我不怪你。我来教你，现在外面的世界最流行的歌叫《小苹果》，流行的舞叫《骑马舞》，流行的小说是《太监眼中的女人》，注行的词语更是多，比如坑爹、挖掘机、三十二个赞，你肯定都不知道吧？你已经是土鳖了，剑法再高也是土鳖，没得治了，你还是回山里继续悟剑吧。”
独孤御姐满脸惊色：“外面的世界变化如此之快？话说，现在的天下还是大宋的吗？”
李岩头：“是大宋。”
“那现在的皇帝是谁？”
李岩指了指自己的鼻子：“是我。”
独孤御姐“噗”地一声笑了出来：“你这小帅哥真爱说笑，你是皇帝？我还是皇后呢！”
李岩苦着脸道：“我真是皇帝，骗你做啥？”
独孤御姐哼哼道：“不和你瞎扯蛋了，我现在对外面的世界十分陌生，你带我去江湖上走走吧，给我介绍一下天下究竟如何了，我是前辈高人，不能一幅呆傻笨的样子走江湖，被人看到要是被笑话的，先借你作为掩护摸清楚形式再说。”
李岩摊手：“可是我不能走江湖，我得先去海外的一个岛上吃腊八粥。”
独孤御姐笑道：“那我陪你先去吃了腊八粥再回来一起走江湖，这事情就这么定了……”
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