第二章 西顾 （一 下）
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程名振微笑拱手，托着师父留下的旧袍，缓缓走向自己家门。更多小说ltxsba.com藏宝图中所涉及的财富据师父说几乎可以敌国，随便取出一儿来都够他这辈子的花销。但此刻这如山财富，却及不上孙驼子几句话的份量。
喜欢杜鹃么？程名振自己也不清楚。原来非娶小杏花为妻子不可的原因，仅仅是因为二人自幼订有婚约。或说是为了维护父辈的承诺与自己的尊严。如今，这份承诺已经不在了。除了一丝丝伤痛外，朱家杏花与他已经永无瓜葛。
但刁蛮又单纯的杜鹃，却同样让他感到迷茫甚至无所适从。在读过的书中，喜欢一个人便是“山无棱，天地合，乃敢与君绝”。即便达不到那种感觉，在程名振的设想里，至少也应该是为其“拍断栏杆，看遍吴钩”的牵挂，为搏其一笑不辞奔波万里，拔剑前行。而此刻的杜鹃，却只让他感觉到了一种无端的沉重，一份说不清道不明的责任与纠缠。浓烈处如酒，平淡处同样如酒，回味也许无穷无尽，暂时弃杯不饮，亦未必觉得有甚可惜。
这种迷茫缠绕着他，令他整夜都没有倦意。每每闭上眼睛，便会想起两个人走过的那些日子。简简单单，普普通通，几乎不值得用心去回忆。但偏偏那些简单和普通的日子充满了阳光，甚至连巨鹿泽中的暗流与血腥都无法冲淡阳光的颜色。
天很快就亮了。晨风透过挡窗子的柳木薄板，将浓浓的血腥气送进屋子里。昨夜是个杀戮之夜，不用猜，程名振也知道会有很多人会丢失性命。张金称是打着给他主持公道的旗号杀入馆陶县的，今后，在这场灾难幸存下来的人会把所有仇恨全都算在他的头上。虽然从始至终，他没主动跟巨鹿泽群寇产生任何联系。
幽幽地叹了口气，少年人托起师父留下的袍子，四下寻找安全的收藏之所。今后很长一段时间内，他将不得不成为巨鹿泽群寇中的一员，而这批宝藏，也许将来会成为他平安脱身的关键。
只是，程家的列祖列宗将不得不为此而蒙羞了。在他们冥冥中的期望里，自己注定一直要走仕途，要光大门楣。想到娘亲醒来后眼睛里的失望，程名振的嘴里便不断苦。想当个好人？这年头，哪里有好人活下去的路呢？
“傻孩子，好好的，你叹什么气啊？”娘亲的声音恰恰从耳边传来，吓得程名振差把手里的袍子丢到地上。愕然转头，他现娘亲不知道什么时候已经醒来了，正扶着门框向自己微笑。
“娘！”程名振想回给娘亲一个安慰的笑脸，无端地却有一股酸涩涌上鼻梁。他不想让娘亲为自己担心，心里的委屈却如潮水澎湃，再坚实的堤坝也阻挡不住。
“傻孩子，你能回来就好。能回来就好。”程朱氏抹了抹眼角，笑着说道。“牢里边吃苦头了吧！待会儿让小丫头们烧儿水，给你洗个澡去去晦气！”
“我没有杀人！”程名振快速抹了把脸，抽泣着回应。“我没有跟外边的人联系，我没有放……”
“娘知道，娘知道！”程朱氏笑着头，“我家小九不是坏人。这些日子，娘一直想托人救你，却找不到任何门路！有人能够救你，娘心里对他们只有感激。”。
娘不怪我与土匪勾结！程名振的目光快速闪烁了一下，有些不敢相信自己的耳朵。但娘亲脸上的笑容不包含半虚伪，目光里的慈爱原来有多少，现在还是多少，半分没减。
“张大当家他们肯为你仗义出手，也未必是什么坏人！”娘亲的话继续传来，字字敲打着程名振的胸口，“你能活着就好，其他的，娘不在乎。只要你能活着，在娘心里比什么都强！”
只要你能在这乱世中活着。原来在娘亲的心里，对儿子的要求居然如此简单！程名振慢慢走了过去，像小时候一样抱住了娘的双腿。跪在地上，双肩耸动。
程朱氏叹了口气，轻轻抚摸儿子的头。经历了那么多劫难，儿子明显长得比同龄人成熟。零星可见几根白丝混在黑之间，看上去是那样的扎眼。忍不住想伸手将其拔掉，又唯恐弄痛了儿子。斟酌了一下，她小心翼翼地用手指将银丝挑起来，从怀中摸出一把极其锋利的剪刀，轻轻剪断。
动作虽然已经尽可能的轻微，程名振还是被惊动了。用手快速抹了两把脸，他抬起头，瞪着通红的眼睛笑着追问，“是生虱子了吧。这十几天我都没洗澡。过几天，等外边的雪化掉，屋子里边暖了，我去郎中那边要包百步草，好好把头洗洗！”
“我这就把两个丫头叫起来烧水！”猛然意识到儿子自从回到家还没吃上一口热乎饭，程朱氏自觉有些歉疚，将白偷偷地藏起来，低声道。
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