第一百七十九章 没有开始的结束
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将被子蒙起盖着：“不理你了！”
不谈父女俩的逗趣，文晸佑坐车回sw，取了东西，随即赶到学校。之后没一会，连校长都没见，课也没上，就再次回来。来来回回的六个小时，就如同坐车玩似的。
当回到宿舍的时候，天也已经晚了。给李顺圭打了个电话，随意聊了几句。挂断之后，电话就再次打进来。是那个整整打了一天的号码，此时，文晸佑却接通了。
“我可以解释！”金泰妍似乎怕他挂断一样，刚开口就是这么一句。
文晸佑来到窗前，看着外面的夜sè，嘴角弯起开口：“我知道你可以解释，也相信你一定有你自己的理由。”
金泰妍呼出一口气，轻声道：“我的老师他……”
“但是我不想听了。”文晸佑之后的一句话，将金泰妍解释的话语打断。
金泰妍语气一滞，轻声询问：“你什么意思？”
文晸佑笑着：“没什么，就是想告诉你。今天有个女孩跟我告白……就是你经常说我劈腿的那个同公司练习生。而我也已经同意。从今天起我会跟她交往，你和我……就算了吧。”
金泰妍沉默了，不一会轻笑开口：“文晸佑，你从来都很成熟的。好像不符合这个年龄的成熟。现在用这种事置气，有意思吗？”
文晸佑头：“没意思，所以我不是置气。”
摆弄着栏杆的铁锈，文晸佑开口：“当时为什么你不出来追我解释而是打电话？！我看见你的时候不出来而是躲到别人身后，你是怕什么？怕影响你在s.m的形象？不想他们知道我和你的事？”
金泰妍气愤叫着：“我出去找你了！”
文晸佑摇头打断她：“别说这些了，你自己讲的。没意思。”
文晸佑转身靠着栏杆，沉吟半响，轻声开口：“没有开始，就没有分手。现在你可以安心的在s.m做那个高级练习生了。不用和家里对抗，也不用承受什么。之后等着出道，或许以后……我们还会在娱乐圈见面。”
对面没有传来声音，文晸佑继续道：“忘了告诉你，初三整个学期，我都不会去了。”
过了好一会，还是没有声音。就在文晸佑以为对方要挂断电话的时候，哭声突然响了起来，文晸佑很耳熟，想打断脑补她此时哭泣的小脸。却挡不祝糊的含糊不清的话语。
“我……我道歉还不行吗？老……老师因为我，呜呜……我也不想去的，我……我只是想练习几天，等……等过一阵子……再找理由退出来。你……你为什么不能听我解释……”
文晸佑将电话拿开，不想让自己变乱的呼吸被她听到。
努力压抑自己的情绪，当稍稍平稳一些的时候，文晸佑将电话放回耳旁，平静开口：“其实，就这样挺好的。除了我们不能交往了以外，我们都分别获得了自己想要的东西。可能我们还是太小了，承受不了那么多那么重的压力。现在也不是……不是我们能将脚迈进社会的时候。只是那么一被动，就不得不再次缩回来。”
深吸一口气，文晸佑笑着：“就当是我对你的歉意，因为我的退缩和放弃，让你白白承受了这么多。一开始就是因为我，最后却是我先承受不住，其实，我也挺看不起自己的。”
金泰妍还在哭着，却已经讲不出任何话来。
文晸佑忍着自己的情绪，将最后一句话说完：“我在学校留了些东西给你。能不能找到，看你这个小笨蛋是不是真的都忘了……再见。”
迫不及待地挂断电话，文晸佑直接关机甩到床上，靠坐在阳台，忍了许久的眼泪也终于落下来。
抱着膝盖，将头埋进去。闷声的呜咽在夜里，不会有谁听到。但别人不会听到，他自己却不会想到。可以很强硬地砸石头在自己头上，可以什么事都不在意笑颜以对的自己，此时的眼泪，为什么却停不下来，反而越流越多？
不管了，流就流吧。至少此时此刻流泪的举动，会让自己舒服一些。真是很神奇的生理反应，人流泪的情绪是由什么促成的？这种体会，十五岁的经历，文晸佑第一次……认真去想着。
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