第一百零九章 整理清楚
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从jessica见到文晸佑的时候，他每说一句话，不管说的是什么，哪怕只是一个语气词，jessica的脸色都会白一些。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com一直盘旋着一个念头，她知道他讨厌狗血，所以没有说出来，只是自己偷偷想着。
这个念头就是……感情是不能勉强的。
只要偷偷想着就行，为什么想要说给他听？因为其实，jessica如今才算明白这个道理，文晸佑，却还不懂。他为了不让自己难过伤心，选择承担下来所有的一切。迁就自己所有的举动，让自己误以为其实他在慢慢接受，从而自己动作越来越大。
但是如今在他终于承受不住的时候，jessica豁然想通。他一直，就没有喜欢自己。那一次，也真的就是一时冲动。自己勉强他，他也勉强着他自己，现在谁都没有好过，谁都痛苦着。
这已经很狗血了吧。就如同感情一样，你想避免任何你不想要的状况发生，然而你也并不能决定什么。最大也才二十虚岁的男孩女孩，大好青春不知愁的年纪，怎么就能把事情弄得那么复杂？
Jessica很想像以前十二三岁的时候交往那些关系，可以轻易斩断毫不遗憾。但是她发现，自己已经不能了。她还年轻，她自然不能肯定以后还会不会有更值得她如此挂心的人，然而她却知道，眼前的这个男孩，会是自己永远无法在心中忘掉的。
不错。既然想到这些，jessica其实已经决定了。决定斩断，决定忘掉所有的过去。决定和他彻底整理关系。哪怕，这其实很不容易。她憧憬着一段美好的恋情，和一个她很喜欢很喜欢的人一起。可是还没有开始，似乎就要结束。
出神看着文晸佑的侧脸，望着天空发呆茫然的眼神。jessica心很疼，却知道一定要这么做。她终于能够体会到文晸佑对待金泰妍的感受，看着自己喜欢的人难过，自己，会比他更难受。
“不用告诉她真相了。”
jessica摩挲他的脸颊，手指轻轻滑过，透着深沉的留恋。文晸佑慢慢转头，看着jessica不语。Jessica弯起嘴角，笑着凑上前，吻着他的唇。一瞬即分。旋即揽着他的脖颈，紧紧抱着他。
“就当这一切都过去了，从来没有发生过。你回到她身边，还像以前一样对她。我和你，就算了吧。”
文晸佑身子一颤，下意识要推开她：“你……”
jessica紧紧抱着他，没有让他推开。靠在他肩旁，轻轻摇头：“别怕我难过，这是肯定的。可是这份难过。不是因为你伤了我。恰恰相反，我只是觉得没法能和一个我喜欢……我那么喜欢的人在一起，感到遗憾。而你没有对不起我，从你那里得到的滴滴。对我来说都是美好的。我不觉得你该为我承受什么，已经为我付出的一切，都会成为回忆。永远留在我这里。”
文晸佑抿起嘴角，第一次张开双臂揽着她的背。将她抱在怀里。主动的。
“秀妍……”
jessica或许是感受这份熟悉的手臂将她环抱的味道，直起身捧着他的脸颊，她想笑。可是眼泪已经流出来。可她，却还是笑了。
用力揉搓他的脸颊，jessica嗔怪哽咽着开口：“你总是这样。接受不能全心全意，拒绝不能直接了断。以后别再这样了，如果能早干干脆脆的避开我，我也不会陷进来这么深，你也不会这么为难。”
深深看了他一眼，jessica轻轻推开他，站起身吸了口气：“以后连亲故都别做了。不是恨你，我只是怕，仅仅是一丁的接触，我都忍不住还要喜欢你。好好回到泰妍身边，忙内、秀晶、秀英，所有知道我和你关系的这些，我都会负责和她们说通。这件事就到此为止，算是我为你，为泰妍做的一补偿。”
文晸佑胸口有些闷，他颤抖着唇，直觉认为自己该说些什么，可是痛恨自己的，却是开不了口。
Jessica将眼泪抹掉，最后笑了笑：“保重吧，你我都是。给你带来的负担我很抱歉。而和你一起的经历，我想说，对不起……还有，谢谢你。”
Jessica笑了笑，转身跑开，身影朝着公园的出口而去。
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