第一百三十二章 斩断斩不断
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还是一阵沉默，不过和刚刚的气氛不同的是，现在和谐了许多。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
静静的靠在一起，jessica在他的怀里。
没人说话，也只是立式灯亮着昏暗的灯光而已。
直到许久，jessica微微抬头看着他有些陌生却熟悉的侧脸，半响轻声开口：“是因为要彻底结束，才会对我坦白的吗？”
晸佑竖起食指，示意她噤声。不一会笑着揉着她的头发，看着她开口：“还有一个小时，就是2009年4月18rì，你二十周岁成年的rì子。我们一起等着那一刻到来，算是我陪你度过生rì的一次。”
jessica胸口慢慢起伏，半响突然坐起瞪着他：“不行。二十周岁，一辈子只有一次。在那之前，和我说清楚。”
晸佑一愣，半响头看着她：“好。要说什么？”
jessica摇头：“所有，从认识我到现在，你对我所有的想法。”
晸佑看着jessica，不一会笑着伸出手臂。
jessica突然孩子一般笑了，投进他怀里，调整一个最舒服的位置靠着，等着他讲述。
“居然有人会怕黄瓜，我第一次听说第一次见过。”
晸佑这个开场白，让jessica不由自主笑出来。
晸佑好像回忆似的看着前面墙壁，轻声讲述着。
“一个是时间最长的练习生，一个是时间最短的。顺圭没跟我讲什么，是tiffany无意间提起的。我都没去多想，就明白那根就是你嫉妒她可以这么快就有出道机会，所以排斥疏远她。我拿着东西替她讨好她的队友，但是排斥她的那个，我一定不会妥协，我想。顺圭也一定这么选择。”
“我没有。”
jessica轻声嘀咕一句，晸佑低头看着她，笑着揪着她的下巴摇晃，被jessica随手拍开。怎么可能没有一想法？男人遇到那种情况，都会觉得很不忿。心思更细腻更小心眼的女孩，肯定也会如此的。
轻叹口气，晸佑摇头：“不过想一想。是我太自我了。我只想着顺圭受委屈就帮她讨公道，却没有客观认为其实你也没有对她做什么。因为你不善于表达，只会将一切都埋在心里。我就那样对待你……”
突然低头看着jessica，晸佑表情怪异：“不过当时你意识到了吧？所以才去把金希澈找来的？”
jessica一顿，捂嘴笑着抬头：“我当时以为你要过来替sunny揍我，所以让希澈oppa帮我。”
晸佑嗤笑：“怎么没找你的东海oppa？那种时候。不是更该找男朋友出头的吗？”
jessica揪着他腰间的肉，面容平静看着他：“我说过，我俩不是那种关系。”
晸佑撇嘴将她掐着自己的手拿开：“就算你说的是真的吧，反正我也不知道你的粉红历史。”
jessica咬着嘴唇，揪着他的耳朵拽过来面对自己：“那你呢？没出道就已经交往了两个女朋友，还都是少女时代同一个组合的，好意思质问我？”
晸佑耸耸肩：“这些我都是承认的啊？光明正大的事。有什么问题？”
jessica头：“那好，我也……”
突然见晸佑眯着眼睛的样子有些可怕，jessica忍着笑，轻咳一声偏头没有说下去。
晸佑照着她后背拍了一下，jessica咯咯笑着靠在他怀里，半响不动了。
晸佑瞪了她一眼，摇头继续道：“反正那时候起，你就对我没什么好印象了吧？反而我倒没觉得你有什么特别的地方。就是脸sè有些冷。而且有些不喜欢说话而已。直到秀晶出现拿着摄像机威胁我……”
“是我对不起你。”
jessica突然抬头看着晸佑，抿起嘴角开口，神情很认真。
晸佑一愣，失笑看着她：“你会为了那件事认错？哪怕后来也没见你道歉过一次。”
jessica摇头，半响再次靠在他的胸口，揽着他，紧紧的。
“我一直很愧疚。哪怕当时对你没好感，可也是觉得很抱歉。只是我不会说出来而已。”
出神看着前面，jessica喃喃低语：“或许是因为，我可以理解你出道艰难的负担。我练习了7年。出道机会却不止一次。但是眼睁睁看着它从我面前溜走，我却没有办法，只能在焦躁烦躁无力和麻木中，慢慢继续等待着。却没想到，因为误会，让你差断送了好机会。”
晸佑摩挲她的后背，可以感受她真的很自责。晸佑都觉得意外，因为发生那次事的时候，两人的关系连亲故都算不上，jessica此时的样子，反而让晸佑有些意外。
“没关系，最后我也出道了，发展到今天了。那些自责也都没有意义。”
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