19、痛苦着幸福
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几场初秋的阵雨过后，笼罩着北京城一夏天的闷热暑气开始散去，天高云淡，气候变得凉爽宜人起来。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com我和萧文之间的情感，也象那一天天日渐成熟的果实，开始沉甸甸地挂在了我们彼此的心头。但是，就象那由绿变黄开始随着阵阵微风凋零的秋叶，也会有几分伤感，间或飘落在我们的心湖，荡起片片隐隐凄楚的涟漪。
快乐并痛苦着。这就是我和萧文在一起的日子。
当时，萧文在我生命中的出现，有如茫茫大海上一座突现的岛屿，她让在灵与肉的惊涛骇浪中苦苦挣扎几乎看不到任何生命意义的我，不但得救，还带给了我生活新的希望和曙光。所以，在我的心中，除了爱，无形中又增添了一份对萧文不尽的感激之情。
那时候，我不用坐班，时间比较自由。只要不是去外地，我几乎是每天都会在萧文傍晚下班前准时赶到她医院的大门口接她。时间长了，萧文的同事们都不再把我称为萧文的未婚夫，而是叫我萧文的司机。只要我的车子一到，那几个早已经和我混得熟熟的门卫，就会抄起电话通知萧文说：你的司机来啦。
如果轮到萧文值夜班，到了半夜，我就会去他们医院附近的一家四星级酒店的昼夜餐厅，打上一份热腾腾的萧文最喜欢吃的鲜虾云吞，给她送去。这小事儿，竟然让萧文的同事们羡慕的不得了。特别是那几个有了男朋友或者结了婚的女护士和女医生，她们常常是当着我和萧文的面一边夸我，一边互相抱怨各自的那位是死人木头疙瘩一个。瞧着她们那委委屈屈幽幽怨怨的神情，我和萧文仿佛是两个做错了事儿的孩子，只好相互偷笑默视无言。
到了周末，去萧文家，我就象回到了自己家一样，一进门儿，就开始脱去外衣挽起袖子，帮助我的老丈母娘做些力所能及的家务。比如扫扫院子，倒倒垃圾，给那两棵石榴树和一些花儿浇浇水。有时候，我还会在她家的厨房里把自己平时学做的几样小菜儿，照猫画虎，笨手笨脚地鼓捣出来，好吃不好吃不说，反正端到桌子上挺好看，让我们一家四口人其乐融融喜笑颜开。
有时候赶上我去外地采访，一两个星期没有去萧文家。电话里萧文就会和我说：快回来吧，不光是我，连我爸我妈都想你啦。我妈总念叨你，说周末家里看不到你的影子，感觉空落落的。
看到我和萧文相互间一心扑实的样子，讲究实际意识超前的萧文父亲，也开始为我们的未来打算起来。
一次晚饭时，他和我聊起了我自己对今后事业上的想法。喝了几杯酒的他对我说：儿子啊，有些话，我早就想和你唠唠。我知道你喜欢干记者这行，但是，你有没有想过，虽然你今天已经在你的同行中叫得很响了，但又怎么样？不还是端着政策性很强的饭碗等别人给你盛饭吃，哪天不小心打碎了也不一定。
我老丈母娘在一旁听了，对萧文的父亲说：孩子他现在干的好好的，你说这些干啥？有的吃有的喝有的住，比上不足比下有余，安安稳稳地过日子就行啦。你可别让孩子跟你似的放着好好的官位不坐，去下什么海经什么商。
我岳父白了我岳母一眼。
我说老婆子吧，你就会跟着瞎搅和，见识短了不是。有些事儿，我做长辈的不提个醒儿，等他们晚辈的自己明白过来了，就怕连黄瓜菜都凉啦。现在，我的那些战友和老上级的大公子大小姐们哪个闲着啦，不都是仗着老子在势往死里搂。我倒不是想让儿子他跟他们学，昧着良心啥钱都赚，但是，趁着现在政策准许，合理合法地多挣钱儿有什么不好。现在，住房改革了，连公费医疗也都张罗着要改，等我们老了走了一撒手，还有谁能管他们。到时候能管他们俩的恐怕就只有钱了。两个孩子手里不有钱儿行吗？
萧文父亲当时这些真知灼见，对我刺激很大。我又想起了我上初中那年的一件往事儿。
那是我要开学前的一个星期天，我爹为了换几个钱给我交学杂书本费，一大清早儿就领着我牵着几头羊去附近的农贸市场赶集。一个在附近县城开餐馆的脑满肠肥的胖子要买我家的羊。他和我爹讨了半天的价，最后成交后了。可是他把羊牵上了手扶拖拉机后跟我爹钱时，竟然少两块钱。我爹说：我这头羊养了三年多，总共也没卖你几个小钱儿，要不是为了我家娃子的学费，我不会这么便宜的。
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