23、飞抵巴黎
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飞机腾空而起，舷窗外我深爱着的北京，几乎有着我全部希望梦想和幸福的北京，越来越小，渐渐远逝，很快淹没在翻卷涌动着的茫茫云海中。更多小说ltxsba.com
一时间，我的心情，也有如舷窗外那滔滔的云海，难以平静。
转眼我和雅男分手就快六年了。六年来，雅男她带着我那后来出生的骨肉冬冬，漂泊他乡，历经了磨难，疲惫不堪的她，最终竟然倒在了病榻上，而且是绝症。我恨自己＃轰然两年多以前从冯兰的口中得知雅男母子的消息后，我就一直在寻找打听她们母子的下落，但我却没想到用雅男母子的照片刊登寻人启示找她们。如果两年前找到她们母子，或许此时此刻，雅男就不会躺在病床上。我真是悔恨难当。
假如时光能够倒流，假如能够换回雅男的生命雅男的幸福，让我卢梭今生今世受再多的苦，遭再大的罪，哪怕搭上我这条烂命，我也会心甘情愿。
我知道雅男也晓得自己来日不多了。不到这步，倔强的她是绝不会同意见我。她是想把自己生命中最后唯一的牵挂，我们共同的骨肉娇儿冬冬亲自交还到我的手上。
六年前江南的那个夜晚，雅男她含恨和我生别。六年后的今天，她又要抱憾和我死离。等待我的，将是怎样惨烈的一幕啊！几经情感磨难的我，尽管已经麻木了，但一想到将要发生的一切，还是不寒而栗。
如果单单只有雅男这一种不幸的痛苦折磨，我或许还会承受得起，撑得住。可偏偏我那伤痕累累的心，又放进了萧文还有她那百般疼爱我的双亲。一闭上眼睛，我就会看到萧文那依依不舍的泪光，看到萧文父母两位老人黯然神伤的面容。
那天早晨，本来想只让公司里的司机一个人开车送我去机场，因为我实在是怕在机场和萧文挥手转身离去那一瞬间的心痛。可我还是经不住萧文那哀求的目光。
几乎整夜都以泪洗面的萧文，好象已经把泪水流干了。她和我坐在车的后面，她不再流泪。我们的手紧紧地交叉相握在一起，一路上默默无语。
到了机场后，在我就要进入国际航班的大厅时，萧文从提包里拿出一个小口袋交给了我。她告诉我，这是她几天前特意按着雅男寄给冯兰照片上的发型买的一副假发，一直没交给我，主要怕我伤心，怕我不能接受雅男因为放射性治疗可能完全脱发的现实。她说估计雅男会用的上，让我转交。
说完，她搂着我的脖子在我的嘴上用力地亲了一口，然后推开我，转身快步穿过人群向后机大厅外跑去。
我茫茫然地站在那里，直到头也不回的萧文消失在熙熙攘攘的人流中。
一个是历尽磨难，身患绝症的雅男，一个是情深似海，善良正直的萧文。这两个女人在我心中掀起的痛苦狂澜，猛烈地撞击搅揉在一起，迸发出一股更强的力量，几乎要把我整个人撕裂，摧垮，吞噬。
空姐开始发放午饭了。我一食欲也没有，只要了杯饮料。喝完后，昏昏沉沉的我，感觉到一阵从来没有过的疲惫和困倦。在飞机的隐隐轰鸣声中，我头一歪，就进入了梦乡。梦里，我仿佛又回到了从前江南我大学的校园。我又见到我那清纯美丽充满着朝气的雅男。我们俩在校园体育馆的游泳池里嬉戏着。忽然，游泳池起浪了，转眼间就变成了狂风大作恶浪滔天的茫茫大海。一股巨浪打来，把我和雅男冲开。那股巨浪象个恶魔一样，狂笑着，把雅男卷向黑沉沉的深海。雅男向我绝望地挥着手，呼救着，可我却怎么也游不动，我好象被一种什么力量死死地捆绑在原处。我只能眼睁睁地看着雅男最后被那股浪完完全全吞噬。
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