第十八章 那时花儿一样开
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那年寂寞,一段时间和许多年轻人一样,沉迷于网络。龙腾小说ltxsba.com工作之余,在网上聊天、逛论坛、写博客、四处贴些所谓的文章,偶尔文字见之于报端。
文字之余,喜欢在qq与人聊天,逢聊得来的q友便海阔天空的打发夜晚,聊人生、侃世事、偶聊一些风花雪月。
是在那些杂乱的日子里认识暖儿的,印象很深刻。我的一篇文字在省城晚报作为“百人博客”见报后,当天就有许多人找到我的博客留言,暖儿就是那个时候出现的。给了我一个长长的留言,无非是些恭维的言语。最后留下了qq号,说愿与我探讨文字。【】
我加了暖儿。暖儿的签名很独特――用文字温暖我和你。或许是自己缺少温暖,要不就是温暖这个词语太亲切,把暖儿放在了自己的好友栏,期待温暖。
便有了和暖儿聊天的日子,大抵都是在深夜,我写累文字,暖儿说她看完期刊,我们淡淡的聊天,有一句没一句的聊些话题,试图接近的,我。如我问暖儿的工作,猜暖儿的年龄,看暖儿的空间,想知道暖儿的样子。暖儿始终回避这些,说做普通的工作,一般大的年龄,空间也没有相片,一些日记也不留痕迹。”小说“
但暖儿很懂我,在我博客上给每一篇文章留言,劝我不要沉迷于消极的文字,甚至像姐姐一样经常开导我。
习惯了那样的生活,习惯了和暖儿聊天,习惯了把所有的寂寞与孤独给了暖儿。暖儿心甘情愿的承受着,有时夜晚暖儿没时间聊天的,说白天上班很累,但一样陪着我,深夜。
越是这样,越想见暖儿,迫切。
我知道暖儿与我同在一个城市,qq上显示的地理位置。越发想见暖儿,和暖儿提要求,见面。遭拒绝。生气,不理睬暖儿。暖儿仍只是淡淡的回复,说她不与q友见面的,说温暖由心而生,或许彼此用文字更温暖。
那段日子很颓废,一度时间不上网,泡吧,喝酒,抽烟,乱码了一篇《今夜,谁与我举杯》的文字丢在博客,发泄着寂寞。众多的留言中,看见暖儿的留言:简单的孤独,何必如此的沉重?伤感的文字,撩拨岁月里最悠长的伤痛。凄美婉约的意境之余,生活还要继续,举杯后,又如何?
不理暖儿。
终一日,春暖花开,暖儿的头像闪烁:去酒吧,陪你喝酒!
暖儿竟然愿意见我,又猜测暖儿的模样,想着红酒的夜晚,和暖儿对饮,渴望如海。
我去了一个叫“雨后江南”的酒吧。
霓虹灯下,暖儿很美,陌生的,千万猜测,释然。
想问暖儿很多,竟无语。
高脚杯错落间,暖儿要我答应她以后不要再醉酒,说酒后的温暖只是片刻,用心累积的温暖才会久久。我答应暖儿,从此不再醉酒。
那夜,喝了很多酒,和暖儿。
一夜……
记得暖儿说:从此不再见面。
隔日,收到暖儿的留言:我删了你的qq。
从此暖儿便消失。
……
今又春暖花开,暖儿,可好?
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