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第二十四章 大学烂事

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近日,单位新来一同事,听说刚大学毕业,巧的是竟然和我是校友。龙腾小说ltxsba.com于是本着大师哥对学弟的关怀特意和他聊了一会儿,情不自禁地聊起了母校,当他知道我是艺术系毕业,钦佩不已。他说:“你们艺术系真有个性,学校的奇闻轶事大部分都是你们弄出来的,到现在还流传着你们的笑话呢?”听他这么一说,我也忍不住笑起来,想起我们曾经制造的那些校园趣事

大一的时候,学校各系还上晚自习。为了管好纪律,学校派专人负责检查各班晚自习情况。虽然辅导员多次警告我们晚自习要认真,不要给系里惹麻烦,但我们依然我行我素。【】

某个晚自习,我们正在教室各行其是,值班老师突然撞进来,尽管班长“嘘”了半天,但已经来不及了。看到眼前惨不忍睹的情景,值班老师无奈的摇了摇头,象征性的问一下:你们是艺术系99(1)班?就在门边记了一堆走了。

第二天上课,辅导员铁青着脸走进来,满脸的愤怒和紧锁着眉头与他风流倜傥的外表实在是极不相称。二话不说叫起班长丢过一张纸条让他大声读一遍。”小说“

于是班长那浑厚粗旷的北方口音立即在教室里响起来:艺术系99(1)班,一人睡觉,二对谈恋爱,三个织毛衣,四个“斗地主”,五个抽烟,六个缺席……

众人哄笑。

大二,某日凌晨四我的兄弟几人上通宵网回来。校门紧闭,依旧翻墙。正在“团结互助”的时候,几声“不许动”,一批联防队员从天而降,几许强烈的白光照射在我们苍白的脸上,我们吓着哆嗦,齐声高呼:“我们是良民”,了解实际情况以后,他们说要做个笔录,我刚说出了班级,忽然想起如果让辅导员知道那奖学金还不泡汤了,看到对面的兄弟李刚便说:“我姓李……”李刚一听,大眼瞪着我,我忙说:“我叫李白”,算是急中生智,实在想不起还有姓李什么的,后面的兄弟立刻心灵神会,自报家门说:“我叫杜甫”,哪个“甫”?联防队员认真地问。杜甫的“甫”,兄弟犯傻了。我知道你叫杜甫,我是问你哪个“甫”,兄弟只好说辅导员的辅除掉“车”字旁。联防队员“哦”了一声吓了,后面的几个兄弟也了解了他们的实际情况,便陆游、王维、白居易的叫起来。联防队员一一记下来,还恶狠狠地说明天告诉你们系主任。

回到寝室,整个宿舍楼笑声一片。

第二天,我去系办公室汇报学生会工作情况,只看见系主任接了一个电话,“什么?”“派出所”“我们系的人?”“叫什么名字?”“你等一下,我记一下。”“可以了,讲吧!”系主任边说边拿起笔“李……白,杜……甫,陆……游”“你这什么名字?好了好了,我知道了,唐代的诗人都到齐了。”挂了电话。

捧腹大笑间我看见系主任也在偷着乐。

大三的时候,学校申报重。某日,接到通知:今日中午有省电视台来食堂采访,请各系同学就餐文明,树立我校良好的大学生形象……

果然,中午吃饭的时候,整个食堂鸦雀无声,排队有序,就餐文明礼貌,就连退出食堂也相互谦让一番。

第二天,系主任把我们班一对恋人叫走了,我们以为这两人又出事了,一打听才知道,在昨天晚上新闻联播中,依稀看见二人中午在食堂吃饭相互喂食的情景,偏偏最后还拉了一个近镜头,听说系主任脸都气歪了。

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