第520章 小语种 高逼格
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
两个逃犯完全没有想到,这世上还有这么刚的野猪!固然野猪都是刚的,可像眼前这头野猪王这样刚到肛裂的恐怕不会太多。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com逃犯老大敢开枪,那是因为他对野猪有所了解,枪声这种东西对于绝大部分的动物而言都是极其可怕的,经历过被捕猎的动物尤其如此。
所谓的惊弓之鸟在有了枪的今日绝对不是什么少见的事儿,按照老大的想法,这一枪下去打死了那头小些的野猪,那头大的绝对会落荒而逃。哪里想到这野猪王不但不跑,反而一个冲锋对着他们就冲了过来,这是要刚正面的节奏啊!还好离着有些远,这野猪要冲过来还要些时间!
两个逃犯当时就慌了,还好他们把向导捆在远些的地方,要不然还有个累赘在真就糟糕了!当然,师爷是在后悔没带上向导,要是有向导在把他留给野猪王当诱饵,他们逃跑的可能性能大不少。如今没了诱饵,想跑得话很显然两条腿是跑不过四条腿的,老大当机立断道:“快,上树!”
野外遇袭三大妙招:上树,装死,刚正面。这是张大道终结出来的法子,遇上比较谨慎的动物,只要虚张声势做出一副刚正面的样子,对方只要不是饿急了一般都能躲过一劫。当然,这其中的度很难把握,一个不小心虚张声势成了嘲讽,输欧好对方战斗力还能更上一个档次。
装死就不用说,有不少的掠食动物都是不吃死尸的,他们情愿吃腐肉也不会吃不知道是不是病死的尸体,在逃不掉又打不过的情况下,装死说不定能混过去。毕竟锁甲霜废的猎人就是因为有假死这一招神技节约了不少修理费!
这三神技里头,最好用的就是上树,只要是不会爬树的动物都能用这招对付!当然,有一个大前提很重要,附近得有树!
如今这个场面,虽然逃犯老大没有总结出三神技。也一下就想起了这招来。这个场合太合适用这招了!首先野猪王的体型刚正面绝对没机会,就野猪的智商重来只有它刚别人没有别人刚他的道理。而装死也不太合适,一头冲起来的野猪就在不远处,你现在装死他顺势拱你一下或用那四五百斤的体重跺你一脚。也就不用装了,直接就是真死。
这个时候见众人都不知如何是好,他就冲着对面喊:“隔山的总瓢把子,兄弟顺水万,过火还是挂注,炮头没了非子,鸟没了翅。孩儿他舅舅找他大爷去了,压腕点火还是插了山大王?”
张盛言他们都傻了,愣呼呼的看着影帝。而同时张大道和白二傻子也正往这边来,都听见了两边的黑话盘道,白二傻子纳闷的看着张大道问:“天师,前头说什么呢?好像是影帝哥诶?”
张大道点了点头道:“有外人来了,你瞧瞧,掌握一门外语是多重要的事儿!”
张盛言也觉得这掌握了一门外语确实牛,佩服的道:“人才啊!那个影帝,对面什么意思?”
“哦,他问说‘兄弟,听见枪响过来看看,晚上给咱们帮忙倒霉了,被野猪盯上了!问我叫啥,’我就说我行刘,问他们是过路的还是来找咱们的,说咱们没子弹了,张导找人去了。问他们能不能坚持得住,是耗着还是和野猪王拼了!”影帝按着自己的理解给众人解释,那表情无比的得意,信息不对称带来的优越感犹如穿越一般。比起人前显圣都爽几分!
杨锐他们都傻了,叹服道:“中华语言博大精深啊!就这么几句话,内容这么多,回头你教教我,逼格太高了!”杨锐脑洞一开,想象这和人去泡酒吧,两个人拿黑话一聊天边上的统统蒙逼,这比说个英语、法语啥的牛多了!真正的小语种啊,除了掌握非洲部落土话,哪个能和这个比!
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