第695章 《红岩》和《檀香刑》
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费了半天的力气,总算是按住了白二傻子,张大道这一肚子的气啊!这都是影帝的反应太慢了,要不然怎么会弄出这种事儿来!看看那个棍子,这别说打在猫身上,就是打在人身上那都得骨断筋折啊!张大道呼了口气,立马就盯上了影帝,张嘴就道:
“你什么情况啊!让你动刑不知道啊!贫道刑令都扔出去了,你这个还敢说专业的!你的演技呢?你的走心呢?你的艺术呢!这不是坑爹吗!”
影帝比张大道还委屈,撇嘴道:“张导,这个没练过啊!剧本都没给,我都是临场发挥的能这样就不错了!给人上刑我见过,这给猫上刑我真不会啊?咱们也没家伙啊!”
“有,有家伙!给它来一棍子,脑浆子给它打出来他就知道错了!”白二傻子这会儿的模样也搞笑急了,整个人被胶带捆在了边上的柱子上头。更多小说ltxsba.com这自脖子以下,没有一点皮肤露在外头,少说也费了两卷胶带。就算他一身的怪力,这会儿也就只剩一张嘴了。
影帝一脸的无语,看了看那棍子道:“你没文化啊!用刑懂吗?不是杖毙!用你这个来一下那猫就没命了。你还真当猫有九条命啊?”
白儿傻子张嘴还要说话,张大道连忙顺手把抹布塞进了他嘴里,这才算是消停了,之后又开口道:“影帝你让我怎么说你!创意呢?艺术家的灵性和创造力呢?就你这样撑死了就是匠人!就知道对付人,你就不能弄几个通用的。中美合作所这么多断子绝孙的招,你就不能给复制几个!”
“啊?”那边老牛先惊住了,连忙道:“别来竹签子啊!我小时候看《红岩》对这个有心理阴影,现在做噩梦有时候还梦见呢!因为这个夏天我都不敢卖烤串。”
陪审团那几个看着热闹一句话不掺合,就差没人发把瓜子在这儿捡乐了。不过说道这里他们有些纳闷了,这几个都是九零后,最大的杨锐也是八零末的。最重要的是,这几个货都不学无术,李溢这会儿好奇的道:“他们说什么梗呢?和羊肉串有什么关系?《红颜》这是小黄书吧?”
就杨锐他们几个,最近看过最正经的小说都得往五年前倒,看的还是《白鹿原》,正经得拿那个当小黄书看的。这会儿正拿手机查影帝说的到底是什么玩意儿呢!
张大道虽然听不懂可装模作样的本事倒是一流,直接道:“拿开!尊重下原告好不好?木签看着也别扭啊!你那个瓶子是什么情况?不是准备给那猫点了吧?”
影帝连连摆手:“不是不是。是辣椒水!我加了三种辣椒,还有胡椒!绝对酸爽!”
张大道挠了挠下巴,点头道:“这个倒是不错,不过猫怕辣吗?别是只湖南、四川来的猫,你给他灌这个不就成让他过瘾了吗?”
“不能!我熬得浓着呢!不喝就往鼻孔里头灌,滴眼睛!绝对让它有什么说什么!”影帝咬牙切齿的模样,让其他众人都是一哆嗦,这家伙别说真有点刽子手的凶恶模样了。
后头钱一笑他们互相看了看,小声道:“要不然咱们先走吧?一会儿他们真下手我有点看不下去啊!欺负一猫,这个太过分了。”
张大道可不知道,陪审团的人都快被吓跑了,还怀疑的看着那瓶子道:“真有这么厉害?”
“绝对厉害!”影帝一脸的自信。
“这个?正式使用之前要不然咱们先试试?”张大道露出一个好奇的笑容。影帝一愣,拿起了瓶子和张大道一起扭头看着柱子上恶狠狠盯着黑猫的白二傻子。
白二傻子正试图使用眼神杀猫技术看死那只猫的,突然打了个哆嗦,浑身鸡皮疙瘩都一起竖了起来。心里闪过一个念头:【有人要害朕?】
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