第1012章 一人超生 全村结扎
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
准备工作已然完毕,终于用简单暴力的方法解决了今日开挂的白二傻子,事情又到了张大道熟悉的节奏中来。更多小说ltxsba.com站在临时改造出的这个供桌前头,张大道可算是找了他一贯的水准。身后两列旌旗招展,一边写着“吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮”另一边写着“哑巴偏不换喇嘛的鳎目”。这个是下午临时改的,影帝的手笔,正经的中华幼圆字体!虽然内容比较奇葩,不过反正阿三也看不明白写的是什么不是。真当他们面念一遍绕口令,他们也得因为太过押韵绕口而当成咒语。
供桌上盖着一个红色的桌衣,比桌子要打出好多显得不怎么配套。桌子上头是一应法器,香炉蜡贡!这都是张大道随身带的,到了哪儿都得带着这些东西,就算没带齐,第一时间野爹配齐咯。要不然当头就是给他灌安定都挡不住这家伙各种来劲找事儿。
阿三们都围在外头,不敢靠近一步,地位比较高的三大长老有资格站在张大道身后,就这样都让张大道逼着洗了三澡,直到差点搓秃噜了皮才算是通过了沐浴这个环结。按张大道的说法,那天贡了咖喱晚上祖师爷就托梦了,给他一通的卷啊!现在身上有咖喱味的在边上,那是对祖师爷不敬,容易造成仪式失败。
这会儿几个阿三都是一脸的郑重,样子显得庄重极了,到底是专业的信徒。都能和影帝这种专业的演员媲美了,白二傻子虽然经过严格的训练,比起他们来都还差几分。张大道照例来了一套焚香祷告的程序,又烧了天文告知祖师爷。这个程序叫上表,就是正是的文书,相当于上报文件。之后就开始烧符掷笅,就这东西,还是那天逃出七院的时候从人家抱朴道院里头顺的呢!
现在张大道扔着玩意儿已经扔出技巧来了,随手一抛就是一阴一阳。跟着,张大道一下捧起了那个香炉,这香炉也不是他惯用的,是韦明辉家里的,被张大道顺了出来。不过这个不是什么古董,是韦明辉家里供先人的,现在也被征用了。里头满满的香灰,都是神庙里头那个大香炉里头倒腾过来的。把这个东西,高高的举过头顶,张大道迈着四方步,一步一摇的边喊边走!
张大道的速度比白二傻子快,他只要一甩香灰就成。白二傻子的活儿比较多,显得泼冷水,这个事儿他今天干得已经很多了。跟着还得观察情况,看看人醒了没有,这些阿三根据早上吃的多少以及身体素质的不同,反应也有区别。第一个那样差点蹦起来的,都算是很不错的了。也有缓慢苏醒的,这种就要多观察一会儿了。还有泼了水也不醒的,那白二傻子还得借故上去查看,顺便给灌风油精。白二傻子也算是天赋异禀了,也许也是他今天状态特别好。根据张大道的指示,还发明了一招风油精滴眼睛。
这招可是太狠了,也不知道是不是之前伪装鬼子熬辣椒水得来的灵感,反正到现在,没有一个不被他们顺利救醒的。等张大道把所有的水桶都弹进了香灰,那香炉的灰就剩小半的时候,白二傻子那边也救醒了十来个人。围观的阿三们这些可不再像之前那样不说话了,气氛一下就热烈了起来,大伙都看见希望了啊!这张大道虽然是异教的,可招真灵啊!其中不太虔诚的那几个,信仰都产生了动摇。
张大道这边放下了香炉,整理了一下法器,才抹了抹不存在的汗,对着几个阿三长老道:“幸不辱命!贫道消耗太大,先行告退了!”
助理这边一翻译,几个阿三正也要客气几句,突然就听见白二傻子的声音:“大师,不行了!这有个醒不了!”
张大道一惊,也顾不得装消耗太大了,连忙就冲到了白二傻子那边,一看状况,也是傻了!就见一个阿三一头的水,躺在一个木桶里头,左边的脸肿的有右边两个大,红里透着光,看那肿起的样子,隐约是个手掌的形状未完待续。
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