第四百八十章 一切若只如初见
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这时，在我即将摔倒的时候，我肩上忽然一轻，紧接着便有人从身后推了我一把，接着这股惯性我又往前跑了一步，但此时的我心里一空，似乎少了些什么东西一样，这种感觉似曾相识，当它再次出现的时候，我下意识的伸出了手，似乎想要抓住些什么，这时的我抓住了一只手，但紧接着从这只手上就传来了巨大的力道，这力道把我整个人往前拉去，但在我即将掉进某个空间里时，身后却忽然有人抓住了我的裤腿。
体力已经枯竭的我不知道从那来的力量，紧紧抓住这只手不放，因为我感觉，一旦放开了手，就会有样东西离我而去，虽然大脑昏昏沉沉的好似喝了几斤白酒一样，但我就固执的，犹如抓住一根救命稻草一样紧紧的抓住这只手不放，过了不知多久，从我的下方传来重物轰然落地的声音，于此同时，墨兰也轻声说道：“初三，放手吧……”
虽然脑海中一片混沌，虽然眼前的一切都模糊扭曲，但我下意识的摇了摇头，可是面对我的拒绝，我所抓住的那只手忽然一松，只剩下单方面的我在支撑一个人的重量，不知道为什么，泪水忽然从我眼眶中流出，我又想起了父母和爷爷，从西丘到东海，我之所以这么努力，之所以一直在催熟自己，之所以要让自己变强，一是因为我想让离开我的那些人回来，二是我想要保护我身边的那些人，离开我的人已经太多了，我不想再有人离我而去了。
“没了我，你身边还是会有人陪伴。”墨兰依旧在强装镇定，只是话语中已经带了一丝强逞的哭腔：“初三，照顾好自己……谢谢你，谢谢你当时陪了我这么久。”
接着，那只手便在我满是汗水的手心中缓缓滑落，而我此时更听到了身后金大那充满不甘的梗咽。
当我手心空无一物的时候，我大脑一片空白，甚至整个人都没了思想，犹如一具傀儡一般，少了一个人的重量后，上面的人终于把我缓缓拉了上去，当坐在地板上后，身下那坚硬厚重的青石地板没有带给我丝毫安全感，我愣愣的靠着墙壁，等视野逐渐清晰之后，我才看着站在一旁沉默不语的彼得等人不解的问道：“你们为什么不救墨兰？”
彼得和徐知海没有回答我的问题，而金大则还蹲在地上哭，看到这一幕一股怒火冲上了我的心头，也焚烧了我的理智，我冲上去一脚将蹲在地上的金大踹倒在地，吼道：“刚刚你在干嘛？！你为什么不救墨兰？！你不是喜欢她吗？那刚刚你在干什么？你不是对墓中机关了如指掌吗？你不是自大吗？你再自大呀！是你害死了墨兰你知不知道？！”
金大双手抱头任由我对他拳打脚踢，但身后的徐知海却拉住了我，道：“刚刚要不是他手疾眼快的话，你就跟着那个女娃娃一起掉下去了，你俩的重量他一个人支撑不住，我们也只能在旁边帮衬着，人死不能复生……你，节哀吧。”
我愣愣的站在原地，半饷我坐在地上点起了一根烟，脑海中却回忆起了和墨兰在一起的点点滴滴，不知从什么时候起，那个小女孩就这么擅长伪装自己的脆弱，可把自己包裹的太久，那就很难出来了，想着想着，我又忍不住哭了，此时的我非常恨自己，也开始怀疑自己一直以来所坚持的道路究竟是不是正确的了。
从开始寻找九世铜莲开始，一路上我就失去了许多的朋友和亲人，虽然有些人的死因看似和九世铜莲没有关系，但冥冥中却有条线将它们串联在一起，如果我还这么执迷不悟的走下去的话，下一个死去的人会是谁？姚九指？金大？还是龙一。
更甚至，我一度遗忘的命格也死灰复燃起来，我开始怀疑到底是不是我那天煞孤星的命格，害死了父母，害死了爷爷，也害死了墨兰，是不是我应该找个地方隐世而居，不再和金大他们产生牵连，这样是不是就不会害他们了？
自责，悔恨，迷茫在我心头混杂在一起，我非常想了结这一切，也非常想揪出冥冥中操控着一切的那双大手，但这一切到了最后都只变成了无力，深深地无力。
众人在沉默中虚度了漫长的时间，到最后金大走到我的面前，那通红的双眼透着一股疲惫，嘴唇更是犹如鱼鳞一样干皮翘起，看着丧失斗志的我，金大轻声道：“初三，路，路还没走完呢。”
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