第五百九十七章 旧事
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此时一旁的我早已浑身寒，这件在我记忆最深处，已经许多年都没能回想起来的事情，如今再次重现在我的眼前时，我才现我当年是有多么可怕，如果我妈没说服我的话，我不敢想，我日后会走上一个怎样的极端。
更让我疑惑的是，我记得从小到大我的日子并无太多波澜，那么到底是什么原因，才造就了我童年时的极端？
一个人绝不会无缘无故的走上极端，那么在我童年时，我到底经历了怎样的事情？那件事情为何被我遗忘，以至于没能在我脑海里留下一丝记忆。
或者说……我儿时的天性本就如此。
想到这我自己都被自己的想法给吓了一跳，但除了这点外，我实在想不出别的原因。
渐渐的，我眼神有些迷茫了，原来不止我爷爷，墨兰他们身上有秘密，我自己身上好似也隐藏着一些不可告人的秘密，但最嘲讽的是，这秘密居然连我自己都不知道。
“初三，你看，它疼了。”
忽然，女子指了指被男孩掐的快要死掉的小狗。
男孩愣了下，低头看了眼后，那平静的眼中终于出现了一丝波澜，他把手松开了一点，却依旧不肯放弃这个他喜爱之物。
“初三，你说你喜欢它？”
男孩抬起头，面上有些惊喜，随后重重的点了点头，也就是在这时，他身上才有一丝同龄人的痕迹。
“那你掐它掐的这么疼，这是喜欢小狗能做出的事情吗？就比如说，你喜不喜欢妈妈？”
“喜欢！”
男孩回答的毫不犹豫。
“那你以后会不会打妈妈？”
“不会！”
男孩摇了摇头，身上多少有了我的一丝影子。
“那你要是真的喜欢这个小狗的话，你还会这样掐它嘛？”
女子的话语让男孩陷入了沉思之中，半饷，他终于撒开手，把小狗放在了地上，而早就惊慌失措的小狗，落到地上后连滚带爬的跑到一处躲了起来，男孩看到这愣了下，脸上露出一丝黯然，甚至明亮的眼中都升腾起了一丝雾气。
“看，刚才它和你玩的多欢？但是你把它掐疼了，它就讨厌你，不想再跟你玩了。”
“妈不让你养狗，是因为你下个月就要到镇上去上小学了，到时候你还怎么照顾这只狗？难道要妈帮你照顾？”
“妈照顾你和你爹已经够累的了，你还忍心妈再伺候一只狗嘛？”
小男孩蹲在地上，久久没能说话，也不知道听没听进去，半饷，男孩才轻声道：“妈，我刚才要是不掐它的话，它是不是就不会讨厌我了？”
“嗯。”
“那以后，我要是喜欢别人了，是不是就跟这狗一样，不能伤害它呀？”
“哦？那你喜欢谁了？村头二丫？”
“才不是呢！”
……………………
刚开始满心的疑惑，此时都化为了了然以及……苦涩。
原来，正是这件事情把我给改变，并在之后潜在的影响了我许多做事的原则。
回想起和墨兰，蔣明君相处的日子里，除了在二者间难以抉择外，更深处还真有这件事的影子存在。
我若接受了任何一个人的感情，那在寻找九世铜莲的过程中便势必要分心，进而也要担心，如果有一天我死了，那另一人怎么办？我相信墨兰蔣明君二人对我的感情，正是因为如此，我才不愿意去辜负，不愿意去承受。
那份爱意，太沉重了，至少寻找九世铜莲过程中疲于奔命的我承受不起。
这样一想，童年的这件事到底是好是坏呢？
如果我妈当时没有引导我，那现在的我应该是另一种极端，但我应该会接受明君的感情，之后的那些事也许就不会生了。
是对，是错？
是善，是恶？
此时，我满心苦涩。
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