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第七十一章 岳父老子

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我思前想后,沉思许久,觉得以屈胖三的种种表现来看,估计记忆应该有一些,但不成体系,支离破碎的,大多都是一些碎片而已,而且每一次回忆起来的时候,都忍不住头疼,痛苦不已。

或许真的应该像杂毛小道所说的一样,应该请教一下他师父陶晋鸿。

如果能够找得到的话。

我凝望了屈胖三许久,困意袭上了心头,忍不住就躺草堆上睡了过去,不知道过了多久,我感觉有人在看我,下意识地睁开了眼睛来,瞧见屈胖三已经醒了过来,正直勾勾地盯着我看。

我吓了一跳,说你干嘛啊?

屈胖三有些呆呆地说道:“陆言,我完了。”

我一愣,说你怎么了?

我有些焦急,是因为刚刚得知屈胖三的真实身份,又知道了他此刻的状况,所以听到他这么一说,心都悬在了半空之中。

然而那家伙往我旁边一躺,有些难过地说道:“我真的完了,我爱上了一个女人——哦,错,她应该只是一个小女孩而已,我怎么这么变态啊,居然有恋童癖……”

呃?

我小声地问道:“你指的是朵朵?”

屈胖三一下子就坐直了起来,激动地拉着我的胳膊说道:“对啊,你不觉得她好萌还可爱么?真的,好漂亮啊,她长大了,一定是一个美人胚子,简直就入口即化啊……啊,不行不行,这话儿太污了,不能够这么形容我的女神,不过,该怎么说才好了——她哪儿都好,唯一的问题,就是太小了。啊,我真的堕落了,居然喜欢这么小的女孩子……”

他抓着我就是一阵自言自语,语无伦次地说着,显得十分激动,又有几分自责和内疚。

我小心翼翼地说道:“呃,这位,尽管我知道你的内心是一位抠脚大叔,不过……貌似现在你的模样,比朵朵还小一截呢,你若是跟她,多只能算是姐弟恋而已。”

啊?

听到我的话语,屈胖三的双眼顿时就是一亮,先是愣了一下,然后一跃而起,哈哈大笑了起来,摸着肚子说道:“对啊,真的是这样啊,我差儿忘记了,我现在是屈胖三啊?胖三胖三,我特么说起来才一岁不到呢……”

呃……

我说你丫别装嫩,就你这模样,六七岁也是有的,要照着速度,估计没多久就得老牛吃嫩草了。

屈胖三兴奋地跳下了床来,兴高采烈地说道:“不、不、不,这样不行,还是姐弟恋来得过瘾,女大三,抱金砖嘛,我可以的……”

这家伙闹了一会儿,然后小心翼翼地问我道:“对了,陆言,你帮我打听一下,那女孩子有没有定娃娃亲之类的?”

瞧见这家伙猴急的模样,我之前还有些别扭的心思一下子就平复了许多。

不管面前这熊孩子是陆左、杂毛小道口中的虎皮猫大人,还是我认识的屈胖三,他就是他,不来不去,一直都这个鸟样儿……

他是我的朋友,我的兄弟,不管如何,都是。

我心中安定许多,然后给他出谋划策,说这个应该没有,不过我给你提一个意见,那就是人家毕竟还小,或许都不太懂男女之事,你表达的时候呢,不要跟泡女孩儿一样,要童真一,多一儿真诚,好一儿套路,说不定能够萝莉养成,成为人生赢家呢?

屈胖三拍着手,说陆言我以前误会你了,没想到你的脑子这么机灵,什么都拎得清楚啊。

我说另外呢,朵朵最听我堂哥的话了,你没事儿多讨好一下他,说不定他高兴之下,把你招作女婿也不一定呢?

屈胖三大言不惭地说道:“我之前还不够拼命么?我可是豁出性命去救我岳父老子呢……”

呃,什么都没有,你丫倒是喊上了。

这脸皮也是没谁了。

我与屈胖三说了一会儿话,这个时候二春走了过来,小声询问道:“陆言,屈小弟,你们醒了?师父招呼我过来,若是你们醒了,请你们去前面议事。”

屈胖三有求于人,跟谁都是一副笑脸,说有劳胖姐姐了。

二春白了他一眼,说叫姐姐就行了,用不着你来提醒我胖……

她扭着腰肢离开,而我和屈胖三则往外走,我反复提醒他稳重一,别乱来。

屈胖三不断头,结果到了前面的时候,瞧见朵朵,眼睛一下子又变直了。

因为有了之前的默契,我们都装作瞧不见,陆左这个时候已经恢复了许多,对我说道:“陆言,那两条龙归你控制?能带我们现在出发么,如果是走过去的话,只怕会耽误时间……”

我还没有说话,屈胖三却一下子热情地说道:“不用,坐我的那头,给我驯服得妥妥贴贴的,包你舒服。”

呃……

果然是开启了女婿姿态了么?

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