第47章:我是你的什么
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“啪”,我赶紧一把捂住老龟的嘴巴,“那什么,安雅琳,我去做晚饭,你休息吧。”
“呜呜,。。”
老龟四只爪子使劲地掰着我的手,嘴上含糊不清地说着话。
“猥琐逼,别说粗来,大家心里明白就好了。”
老龟掰开我的手,“玛德,不说就不说,差被你闷死,你去做晚饭去,我去跟安雅琳妹子培养感情。”
说完,老龟从我手掌上跳到地上,人立着疾步跑到安雅琳身边。
草泥马的,培养感情去吧,反正安雅琳是不可能喜欢上一只乌龟的,卧槽,要是真的喜欢上小乌龟怎么办?爱情的无界的啊!
我怀着纠结的心情,钻进了厨房。
吃晚饭的时候,安雅琳眉头紧蹙,“今天的菜怎么这么咸?有失水准啊。”
我怨地看了看安雅琳和老龟,“因为菜里面混合了我的泪水。”
老龟大张着嘴巴,“啪啪”地鼓起掌来,“这个逼装得有响亮。”
“你在逗我玩?”安雅琳奇怪地看着我。
“没有,我是哭着做菜的。”我怨道。
“为什么?”安雅琳真信了。
“你看啊,你10岁的时候,我们就生活在一起了,可是我一直想不通,我们算是什么关系。做饭的时候,一想起来就忍不住潸然泪下。”
我其实就想试探一下安雅琳是怎么看待我们之间的关系。
“我们之间?”安雅琳一愣,显然她也没有考虑过这件事。
“你说,我是你干爸爸呢,还是你哥哥,或者是你未来的丈夫呢?”
我眯着眼睛,小心翼翼地试探安雅琳。
安雅琳淡淡地瞥了我一眼,“你想多了。”
我的小心脏陡然捏紧了,“我是你的什么?”
“佣人。”
草泥马,我不是你的优乐美吗!
我当时就不乐意了,我这小暴脾气!
“砰”,我猛地一拍桌子,将碗筷都震得摇晃起来。
“啪”,安雅琳轻轻地放下筷子,“你干什么?”
“额,没什么,有只苍蝇,我拍苍蝇。”我气势瞬间弱了下去。
“吃饭。”
“哦。”我默默坐下,拿起碗筷,扒拉着米饭。
“妹子,你看过黄片没有?”老龟站在饭桌上,拉了拉安雅琳的衣袖。
“黄片是什么?”安雅琳奇怪道。
“黄片就是。。。”老龟正要解释,被我一把捂住了嘴巴。
“黄片就是武侠片的一种,一男一女或者几个男的几个女的在各个场景打架,男人猛烈地冲撞女人的肉体,把女人打得要死要活,然后打完收工。”
我嘴上飞快地说着。
“卧槽,你这解释,有神。”老龟目瞪口呆。
“这么暴力?”安雅琳眉头一挑。
“不暴力的,要不有时间一起看?”我眼睛一眯。
“画面血腥吗?”
“不血腥,就是看了会有生理反应!”我猥琐地笑了。
“什么是生理反应?”
“嘶”,我眯缝着眼睛,思索了片刻,“生理反应呢,就是你会觉得全身燥热,脸很烫,下面会流水,而且下面会很痒,想要挠挠。”
“这么变态?”安雅琳一阵恶寒,不由地夹紧了双腿。
“你知道痒了用什么挠吗?”
“用什么挠?”
“用下面挠。”我禁不住露出了猥琐的笑容。
“下面?什么下面?”
“把我的大屌塞到你下面口子里,帮你挠挠。”
“啪”,一个巴掌印在了我右脸上。
“我。。。”
“啪”,左脸上又挨了一记巴掌。
“草,我干嘛了?”我连忙抱住脸,防止安雅琳打我。
“太猥琐了。”安雅琳举起筷子就要打我的脑袋。
我伸手挡住了筷子,放下手掌的时候,按在了桌子上溅洒出来的汤水上,手一滑,身体失去重心,直接倒在了安雅琳身上。
“砰”,我本来就坐在安雅琳身边,身体倒下,将安雅琳撞到在地。
“安雅琳小心。”我急忙揽住安雅琳的脑袋,想要将她护在身下。
“不要!”安雅琳惊呼一声。
在倒地的瞬间,我只感觉嘴唇上传递出一股温热的触感,然后大脑就一片空白了。
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