第0101章 被炸飞了
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厄运最初开始的时候应该是我回家蜗居的第三天的早上，这一天早上也不知道是不是因为昨天晚上睡觉没有盖被子的原因，所以着凉了，一阵剧烈的腹痛直接将我从睡梦中惊醒了，当时就疼的我浑身冒冷汗。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com
俗话说的好，这牙疼是鬼捏的。肚疼是屎憋得，只要不是病，那无故腹痛坐马桶上来一发准没错。
反正那天早上我是这么干的。
如果我当时忍一忍，或者是耐心一穿上衣服去室外上厕所的话，或许也就没有后来的一系列事情了。
可惜，这个世界上没有那么多的如果，我最终还是一屁股坐在了那个让我终生难忘的马桶上，拉到酣畅之处冲水时，那马桶竟然直接炸了！！！
没错，就是马桶炸了！
就跟屁股上骑了一颗炸弹一样。毫无征兆的马桶就“嘭”一下爆炸了，直接把我炸飞四五米，一头就撞在了厕所对面上的瓷砖墙上，光着个大屁股就趴在地上直接晕过去……
等我再一次醒来的时候已经是下午四多了，人也在太原武警医院的病房里了，正好和张博文这货是同一间病房。
“hll!”
一看我醒来，张博文这货顿时就挤眉弄眼的和我打招呼。咧着一张大嘴笑道：“老板，我听说你拉个屎差让马桶把俩蛋儿给炸没了？”
想想当时马桶爆炸时那惊心动魄的场面，我忍不住浑身一哆嗦，这一动，顿时感觉到屁股上传来一阵强烈的疼痛，脑门子上的冷汗蹭蹭就留下来了，缓了好一会儿才终于缓过劲儿来了，扭头狠狠瞪了张博文这王八蛋一眼，咬牙道：“你他妈再敢笑一下子的话，老子立马炒了你鱿鱼信不？”
张博文看我似乎心情不好，这才乖乖闭上了嘴。
我稍微平复了一下自己的心情。这才问起了张博文我昏迷以后的事情。
张博文这货这回算是彻底老实了，乖乖把我昏迷以后的事情告诉了我：
原来，那马桶爆炸弄出来的动静不算小，我被炸飞以后，就在我隔壁睡觉的周敬也被那惊天动地的一声巨响吵醒来了，这小子一算好像今天就是我八世厄运加身的时候，只不过昨晚他玩英雄联盟玩的太入迷了，等睡觉的时候完全把这茬忘记了，所以干脆没提醒我。听到这一声爆炸，周敬这小子当时就知道肯定是我厄运加身出事儿了，于是衣服都没穿，耷拉着他那条后面印着蜡笔小新的小裤衩就冲进了洗手间。这一进去不要紧，差把小崽子熏死，不过丫终于是仗义了一回，看到我浑身是血的躺在屎尿里面立马过去就拽我，结果他屁大个孩子哪能拽的动我啊？再加上那时候天亮了，花木兰没了千年道行就算是灵鬼之躯也没法出来帮他，无奈之下周敬只能给李叔打了电话。
李叔一听我被马桶炸了，二话不说就撂下古董店的买卖开车过来了，这才总算是把我送进了武警医院，直接就推进了手术室。余记私弟。
好在，那马桶虽然炸了。但还不至于要命，就是把我屁股炸开了花儿而已，距离命根子还有距离，不至于一下子给我炸成太监，要不事儿可就大了，不过饶是如此，我屁股上仍然是缝了七十多针，根据张博文所说，那叫个惨啊，屁股上的线头连起来就他娘的跟绣十字绣差不多，完全成了个烂西瓜……
从手术室出来以后，因为马桶爆炸我身上沾满了那啥，所以在我清洗这件事儿可算是为难住了那些可怜的小护士，据说当时一看我的模样，没一个护士乐意上来伺候我的，李叔有心想帮我擦洗一下还上病服，可又怕他毛手毛脚的触开了我的伤口，最后只能拍下一万块，说谁他娘的愿意帮我擦洗，这钱就是谁的。
这重赏之下必有勇夫，哦，不，是必有悍妇，当时就有个看起来家境挺贫困的小护士站了出来，她应该只有二十一二岁，还是在校大学生呢，因为是医科大学的，对护理的事儿做的比较精通，所以周末一般都在医院里勤工俭学，就是这个女孩儿主动担任起了为我梳洗的事儿，从里到外给我梳洗了一遍。
说到这里的时候，张博文那王八蛋还一个劲儿的对着我坏笑，说我被那小护士看光了，他都帮我问了，那小护士名字叫苏苏。
我顿时感觉心口一凉，显然，张博文这个大嘴巴说的事儿我的媳妇很吃醋，这是警告我呢，于是我赶紧让张博文掐掉这段，说别的。
然后因为苏苏这个女孩儿帮我梳洗的比较细心，所以李叔当场就拍板了，在我在医院的这段时间，就一直由这个女孩儿来担任特护。
安排好我的事情以后，李叔就带了俩工人回我家里修马桶去了，也检查了一下马桶爆炸的原因。
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