第五三八章 杀念善念
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清安寺，浮生大师生前住的小院门紧紧闭着，让于燕在门口等候，蓝怡推门走进去。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
院内一切依旧，蓝怡慢慢走到梅树下，梅枝尚未萌芽，干枯地如死去一般，让人感受不到一丝生气。若浮生大师还活着多好，她可以跟浮生大师聊一聊，就算不能化解心中的郁忧，但聆听大师的见解，帮她寻个方向。蓝怡自穿越以来，从来没有像现在这样迷茫过，偏这种迷茫还无法对自己最亲近的人宣之于口，关心则乱，便是这种感觉。
“大师，您说过周卫极杀戮过重，若要平安度日需多做善事，不妄动杀念。可世事难料，上了战场怎么可能不动杀念呢？”蓝怡喃喃道，“您坐化之前，说天道将变，现在已经开始了么？”
回答她的，只前殿传来的木鱼诵经声。蓝怡深吸一口气，转身欲回，在院中高树上筑巢的寒鸦忽惊，展翅而去。蓝怡双目微动，回头看向屋门，依旧紧闭着，再回头时见清安寺的主持清英站在院门外，无悲无喜地看着她。
“主持，不可妄动杀念的意思不是不能动杀念，佛家也说杀恶人既是善念，当杀念即是善念的时候，是否是无罪的？”很矛盾，蓝怡似是在寻一种开脱。
清英双手合十，声音清冷，“讲杀盗淫教化众生，阿罗汉曾为救人而开杀戒。善财童子五十三参中有三参示现贪嗔痴：伐苏蜜多女示现贪欲，甘露火王示现瞋恚，胜热婆罗门示现愚痴，亦是为教化众生，亦是同理。此杀，是善念。”
这个道理她何尝不知，两军开战各为其主，向大义上说是为了保一方百姓平安，但怎么也不能说动的是单纯的善念。蓝怡知在清英这里寻不到解答，也不想再问，合手关上院门告别出来，带于燕在寺前小摊贩聚集处走去。寺庙前一如既往地热闹，蓝怡寻到卖糖人摊子，给两个孩子买了几个漂亮的糖人，递给于燕一个蝴蝶状的，“拿着玩吧。”
于燕愣了几息，接过糖人拿在手里，翻来覆去地看了几遍，不知道该怎么玩，便张嘴咬了一口，很甜，很粘牙。看她脸上露出一点郁闷，蓝怡忽然觉得心情好了不少，“你原来的月例是多少？”
这几天操心的事情太多，还没有认真考虑过这些。
“回夫人，奴婢还没有出师，每个月只有五百文。”提前前事，于燕有些触动。
于家堡真是不差钱，没有出师的学徒就有五百文的月例，“若出师后呢？”
“要看跟着的主子是谁，是几等武婢。”虽被师傅告诫不可向外人吐露堡内之事，但蓝怡是她的主子，自幼被灌输的终于主子的思想作用下，于燕还是将自己知道的事情讲出来，且这只是小事而已。
蓝怡没有再问，“你现在跟着我，算是出师了，你的月例先算一贯吧，四季衣裳等另算，若是不够你还有需要用钱的地方，再跟我要。”
“是。”
……真是一如既往地沉默，蓝怡转回头接着看路两边的东西，想着该送什么给小七做新婚贺礼。她和周卫极成亲时，小七送的是他的画，山水间两株枝干合生在一起的树，取在地愿为连理枝之意，蓝怡很喜欢，所以现在她也想送一份代表自己心意的礼物。
“二嫂，您过来烧香么？”高峰带着妻子赵氏和女儿迎面走过来，一脸络腮胡很是显眼。
“过来转转。”蓝怡把手里的糖人递给赵氏怀里的丫头一根，“小丫长得真快，都这么大了。”
赵氏盯着蓝怡头上剔透的点翠玉簪，半晌才抽回眼神，又在于燕身上转了两圈，“我天天守着，都不觉得她在长，就知道哭闹，觉都不让人好好睡。二嫂，这是你新买的丫鬟？”
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