第八节朝堂上的大坑
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宫门缓缓打开,全身光明铠的御林军站立两厢,空出正对朱雀大街的朱雀门,文官一行,武官一行徐徐而进,每个人都肃穆庄严,怀抱朝勿,惶惶若干城之具也,云烨在心底恶补:“果能建伊皋之业耶?”程咬金不顾规矩硬拖着云烨站在他身后,走了几步,忽然回头:”小烨子,为何如此对待李绩?”
早料到老程会有此一问,云烨粲然一笑:“如果程伯伯揍我,小烨甘之如饴,牛伯伯揍我,小烨处之泰然,秦伯伯揍我,小烨甘愿领罚,尉迟伯伯揍我,小烨会四处奔逃,至于李叔叔要揍我,云烨可能会还手。龙腾小说ltxsba.com”
老程拍了云烨一巴掌,嘿然一笑,不再作声,老牛不知从哪里钻出来,怒目而视,指着云烨要待得地方不做声。见到老牛自然弯腰塌背缩脖子,乖乖站到队伍里。怪模怪样惹得群臣哄然大笑,维持秩序的侍卫恶狠狠的看着云烨,见是一介少年也就轻轻放过。队首的房玄龄本来不喜,得知为首作怪的是一少年人,就当是年幼无知一笑了之。
云烨切身感到年龄小的好处了,说错话,做错事,只要不是原则性的,总能找到原谅的理由。您总的给年轻人一个改错的机会吧,云烨无耻的想到。
太极宫,立于三十六节石阶之上,站在石阶下只能看到翘起的飞檐,檐首的吉兽狻猊,獬豸在微明的天光下显得威风凛凛。皇权至高无上,那几乎要刺破晴天的尖檐将皇室的尊贵表现无疑,这他奶奶的不是找着被雷劈吗,还是青铜制成的,多好的导电器啊,还说夏天才被雷劈了几下,是老天不满李二陛下的作为,只是轻轻教训几下,民间都这么说,也有可能是上天在劝李二陛下不要做的太过,老爹就不要杀了。当然,这是云烨心头的恶意味,不能说出来,一出口脑袋就会落地,恼羞成怒的皇帝是不会管你有没有才,哪怕是奇才,怪才,大才,敢说这句话统统都会变成劈柴。
太监,中国几千年来一直伴随皇家的畸形产物站在高高的台阶上,扯着嗓子吼:“大朝觐开始,诸臣工觐见。”就这一句让云烨佩服不已,尖厉的嗓音硬是喊出惶惶正大的意味。人才啊,以后要亲近才是。
空荡荡的大殿顷刻间人声鼎沸,找位置的,偷拿别人垫子的,互相施礼请坐的,满嘴酒气居然声称自己滴酒不沾的,更过份的还有一位不要脸的放了一个臭屁,惹得周围众人纷纷扇鼻,意思是不是我放的。估计放屁的仁兄就在扇鼻子的人群里面。
平日里只有百十人早朝,大朝觐一下子塞进来两千多号人不乱才怪,队伍都排到殿外,估计程处默他们蹲在寒风中打摆子。云烨幸灾乐祸,幸亏老子是侯爵,这才能在大殿里坐着。周边全是四十岁以上的叔叔伯伯,甚至还有几个爷爷辈的,找不着被偷走的坐垫四处踅摸。云烨找了个好位置,背靠一个硕大的木制蟠龙柱,地上铺两个座垫,背上靠一个座垫,听说大朝觐没有四五个小时结束不了,现在好好休息,晚上还要给全家做一顿杀猪菜。特意吩咐管家姑姑选一口一百五六十斤重的猪,杀了,剥好,内脏不许丢掉,肠子,肚子用面粉细细搓了,弄干净等我回来动手。
李二出来了,通天冠,蟒龙袍,垂下的珍珠穗恰好与眼睛平齐,在九十九只牛油巨烛的照耀下,光华四射,就像后世乱抛媚眼歌星,叫人头晕目眩,看不清楚人长得什么模样,这大概就是通天冠的最大作用。
众臣三呼万岁,李二接受大家的跪拜,宣称免礼,大家跪坐在案几之后,低头垂目作肃穆状,云烨不好太出格,也陷入沉思状态。一双长腿从案几下伸出老远。
先是房玄龄歌颂了大唐在过去的一年所取得的巨大成就,平灭了多少叛乱,打败了多少反贼,缴获了多少粮食,军械还有女人,关内虽有小范围的蝗灾,但是不影响粮食的生产,虽低于去年,灾荒之年倒也说的过去。市面越发繁荣,税款越收越多,人口稳步增长,等等,总之,大唐过去的一年是胜利的一年,光辉的一年,完全是因为有了李二这位英明的皇帝,从而带动全天下民众创下如此业绩。
接着是杜如晦上前,接着房玄龄的马屁继续拍,大唐在过去的一年是平安的一年,虽有小小突厥作乱,但是有睿智的皇帝陛下在渭水三言两语哄走了突厥人,开了以弱胜强的最悬殊战例,六骑出长安,与突厥头子会盟渭水,通过外交努力,为大唐从胜利走向胜利打下来最坚实的基础,感谢李二陛下,我们在李二陛下光辉的照耀下正在茁壮成长,李二陛下的伟大业绩必将万古长存。
杜如晦的报告激励了每一个大唐官吏,刚要趁着气氛热烈多吹嘘几句,不想遭到当头一棒。千古人镜魏征不干了,嗷,这大唐的事敢情全是陛下一个人干的?没我们什么事?我们全是酒囊饭袋,士兵全是软脚虾,百姓都是懒汉,天下太平?笑话,突厥掳走的边民算什么?长孙无忌刚刚平灭的幼良算什么?程咬金干掉的羌人难道是泥捏土造的?陛下是干了很多工作,但是不是全部,作为文官之首,房玄龄,杜如晦私德有亏,以全天下之功邀陛下一时之兴,佞臣也。
汤锅里的老鼠,面包里的鼻屎,说的就是魏征这号的,这样的马屁力度也算私德有亏?你老兄是没听到过真正的政府报告,要是听到后世的政府报告你还不动手砍人?然后再全身爆裂而死?
贞观二年末尾的大朝觐是李二陛下第一次以皇帝身份主持的大朝觐有些类似后世的人民代表大会,政府必须做过去一年的成绩汇报,再展望来年的前景。当然评判者是皇帝,后世评判者是人民,云烨当了三十几年的人民自然知道人民的权利由少数人代表,和目前的状态没有什么区别。报喜不报忧,前途是光明的,道路是曲折的,胜利终究是属于我们的。一千四百年,一千四百年政府报告的演化只是从文言文变成白话,生涩难懂,曲折盘旋,说话的艺术被演绎的淋漓尽致。比相声还相声。
云烨打了一个悠长的哈欠,六部主官的报告就像催眠曲的音符从眼前滑过,惹人困倦。心里早就麻木了,官府,这一暴力统治工具从人类阶级产生就伴随我们成长,一成不改的是生硬,冰冷,固执,扯皮。没心思听他们讲废话,朝堂大政早就被几个所谓的精英确立了,现在说的全是废话。
偷眼一瞄,心中仰慕之情顿时如同黄河泛滥一发不可收拾,旁边这位伯叔,说不上来是伯伯还是叔叔的家伙,三绺长髯垂在胸前,摇头晃脑之际不忘点头赞许,似乎工部尚书温大雅的枯燥报告是一纸飘香奇文,闻之令人如饮琼浆,不忍释怀,如果不打呼噜,不流口水,云烨会惭愧自己的无知,深深为自己的无礼感到愧疚。既然这位叔伯在睡觉,云烨觉得自己打个瞌睡实在是不入流,小巫见大巫。
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