第六十一节水深火热
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边嘀咕边下楼，一个慈眉善目的老奶奶就坐在小厅里，见辛月出来了，笑得更欢实了：“多漂亮的一个孩子啊，云家的侯爷老身也见过，是一门好姻缘。”
辛月顷刻间就被一群好事的妇人围了上去，到了洗澡的地方，她们也没有离去的意思，一个抓了一把花瓣撒浴桶里，一个拿出一瓶香水往浴桶里加了小半瓶，剩下的理所当然的揣袖子里。
小秋插不上手，老婆婆开始给辛月脱衣服，还在辛月的胳膊上拿簪子扎一下，在辛月的尖叫声里，开始了她自己的新婚之旅。
辛月只是被扎一下，云烨恨不得从窗户里逃走，一群妇人把他团团围住，七手八脚的就把他脱得只剩下短裤，塞浴桶里解开他的头发就开始洗澡，最过分的是拿松柏枝子扎他，像拍重口味小电影一样，老奶奶拄着拐杖，笑眯眯的看孙子受罪，趴在门口看过程准备过两月成亲的程处默，一脸的骇然，牛见虎是过来人，一副戚戚然的摸样。这个罪她已然受过。
要不是云烨发明了内裤，现在说不定早就赤条条的了，白头发的老婆婆把缺牙的嘴张的老大，手底下一点都不含糊，云烨知道自己的后背一定很惨，这连抽带打的，不要说晦气，就是福气也早就被抽没了。
被虐待完，妇人们心满意足的离开了，程处默趴在浴桶沿上同情的看着气息奄奄的云烨，牛见虎则把一瓶子烧酒递给云烨，希望他喝一口壮壮胆，还鼓励他：“咬牙把今天熬过去，好日子就来了。”
云烨像木偶，任由这些兴奋过度的妇人们摆布，不知道为什么一定要穿官服，还是上朝堂的那套，这破衣服为了挺括，衬了八层里子，昨天才笑话完穿冬衣的庄户，自己今天就裹得严严实实，密不透风，农历四月，阳历五月的关中，称为骄阳似火毫不过分，穿这一身，不捂出痱子才怪。
娶老婆就是个遭罪的事，尤其是到了古代，上一次娶老婆虽说西服领带的傻透了，这回穿正宗的唐人服饰，更傻。
来，先把里衣穿上，再把亵裤穿上，哦，错了，先穿袜裤，带子绑大腿上，衣服全用带子拴好，啧啧，少年人穿绯袍就是好看，哪像我家老爷，穿上都像螃蟹，没错，这话是程夫人说的，她以云烨的婶婶发的这话，可云烨怎么看她怎么像是在自己身上来找经验的，好为她那个傻儿子成亲做准备。
护心镜？我是成亲，不是上战场，揣这东西做什么？什么？武侯家都这样，是礼仪，在腰上绑了四五个玉佩之，脖子上再挂上两条玉饰，脑门再绑上一条有玉石的布条，云烨认为自己可以开玉石店了。
五斤多重的宝刀挂上，头上再顶一顶紫金冠，如果再插上鸡毛，就是吕布吕奉先了。折腾完穿着，拜完祖先，牛婶婶发现一个大漏洞。
居然没擦粉，这还了得，众妇人一起拍额头，把云烨重新拽回来，摘下帽子，重新洗脸，宫里赏赐的绢花挑一朵红的，大的，准备插头发上。
在云烨以死抗拒之下，妇人们只是给他薄薄的扒了一层粉底，那朵宫花没逃了，被结结实实的插在紫金冠旁边，比头都大。
从早到晚一口水没喝，一口饭没吃，就被奶奶婶婶，姑姑，姐姐，撵出去接亲，旁边马上是一身青衣的程处默，脸白得像鬼，脑袋上也插一朵大红花，一张血盆大口似乎用了口媒子，面目呆滞，看来让他去应付娘家的那些妇人有些不靠谱。
还好从陇右赶回来的长孙冲就靠谱多了，虽说也没有人样子，一朵花遮住了半个脸，但是从他得意洋洋地表情来看，似乎很享受这种万众瞩目的感觉。
“虫子，一会就看你的了，处默已经废了。”云烨忧心忡忡的对长孙冲说。
“他一会只要负责挨打就成，其他的都交给哥哥来做。长孙冲很有自信。
”挨打，谁会打我们？”难道会是女方家看到三个鬼怪登门，准备打鬼？
“是啊，挨打，还是乱棍！”()
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