第四节被算计了
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宫女们按照云烨的吩咐，把银盘都一一摆放整齐，揭开盖子，饭菜的浓郁香味就蔓延开来，李二在办事的时候不会注意食物，那怕天上的珍馐全部摆到面前，也不会让他的思维有半点的滞涩，不看桌面只是尽情的与冯盎交谈。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com
偏殿里只有五张矮几，不像别人的桌子上五颜六色的好看，云烨给自己的全是螃蟹，很多年没吃过这东西了，今天准备大开杀戒，从怀里掏出小锤子，小剪子，大牙签，小勺子，还有用来把螃蟹外壳夹扁的夹子，至于钩凿，云烨觉得没必要，欢欢喜喜的把手洗干净，这就准备开始吃。
一只螃蟹拎过来，剪去爪子留着最后吃，好东西总要留在最后，掀开螃蟹盖子吃得正愉快，大唐没多少人吃这东西，一个个养的极肥，蟹膏居然可以挖满一勺子，含到嘴里太舒坦了，蟹肉用牙签捅出来，蘸一点姜醋，鲜味让人飘飘欲仙，用夹子把螃蟹腿的外壳夹碎，发出令人心旷神怡的声音，忽然觉得屋子里似乎很安静，刚才还有丝竹之声传过来，现在没动静了。
这才抬头看，发现李二，冯盎，房玄龄，都在兴致盎然的看他吃螃蟹，冯智戴捂着额头躲在最后面。讪讪的笑着站起来问：“陛下为何不进膳，莫非微臣的手艺入不了陛下的法眼。”
李二摇摇头，从他桌子上拿起小工具，试了几下说：“工欲善其事，必先利其器，你这里倒是贯彻的很是干脆，你做的饭食朕还没挑出毛病，色香味俱全，比皇宫里的饭食美味，只是朕与冯公看你吃的热闹，就过来看看，你继续吃。”
不就是自己用牙咬螃蟹有些难看么，兰陵刚才在厨房里不就是这么吃的。也没听见她抱怨，到这里就不行了?
房玄龄大笑着说：“老夫牙口不好，见美食却有心无力，心痒难熬啊，且把这里的器物借老夫一用如何？”还能说什么。云烨只好把几样工具在旁边的茶水盆子里洗干净。递给房玄龄，却发现老房不接，眼睛直勾勾的看着他用来洗工具的盆子不言语。
李二的脸红的惊人，指着茶水问：“这是用来净手的？”
螃蟹宴上的茶水不用来洗手。还能用来干什么，念头转到这里，心头咯噔一下，这几位不会把茶水都喝了吧？
一群土鳖啊，这是要活活坑死我啊。云烨在心里泪流满面，五个人吃饭，四个土鳖把洗手的茶水喝了，就一个聪明人没喝，这个聪明人的下场可想而知，尤其这中间还有李二这个小气鬼，想要化解尴尬，只有五个人都成为土鳖才有可能。
“哦，回禀陛下。这是微臣特意为今日宴席准备的解腻的茶水，用上好的茶叶冲泡而成，最是适合宴会饮用。”
说完，云烨就捧起小瓷盆大大的喝了一口，茶水混合了螃蟹的腥味。让他几欲呕吐，强忍着吞下去，如果吐出来，按照今天事情的严重性李二不让他爬着回家才是怪事。后果太严重，只好委屈一下自己的胃。唐朝的煎茶不是连猪油都放吗？
李二的脸色这才好转，哼了一声说：“下回找个小点的器具装茶水，好好地茶水糟蹋了。”
冯盎也跟着说：“茶水的滋味实在美妙，老夫走的时候，可要多带一些回去。”
房玄龄神色怪异的从云烨手里接过工具，来到李二的席前，请他先用，又唤内侍过来，找几个小剪刀之类的东西来给其他人凑数。
冯盎是武将，自有武将的凌然之威，一只带把的肘子咬的汁水淋漓，赞不绝口，螃蟹似乎只是餐后小点，桌子上的剪子之类的东西一概不用，螃蟹的大钳子丢嘴里咬的嘎嘣作响，听的云烨牙根都酸了，不就是想让皇帝看看自己饭一斗肉十斤的饭桶本质么。
给他吃这些东西糟蹋了，不喜欢莲藕里塞些糯米之类的东西，问云烨为何不往里面塞些虎肉，说那东西有嚼头，回头就送云烨一些风干的虎肉，虎鞭他也带了几十根，瞅着逸兴思飞的冯盎，这家伙说不定就是导致华南虎彻底灭绝的罪魁祸首。
一顿饭吃到华灯初上才算完结，对于宫里的歌舞，云烨没有半点兴趣，李二自己编排的歌舞，看着就无趣，把自己大战窦建德的功绩成天的宣扬。百十个穿着铠甲的舞姬，乱哄哄的没有规矩，一会儿出场，一会儿唱歌，歌词晦涩难懂，女人跳男人的舞蹈本就难看，杀的不惨烈，叫的不凄惨，穿白衣的舞姬所向睥睨，袖子甩的如同散花，最后蹲下朝天子，施的还是妇人礼。
冯盎估计和云烨一个心思，也看不下去，退去外袍，大吼一声，翻了个空心跟头，转个圈就开始跳健武，伸胳膊踢腿，如同疯子。
李二叫声好，自己也抖着肩膀甩着手下了场子，人家跳舞，自己当然不好吃东西，云烨看着面前逐渐冰凉的螃蟹哀叹不已。
都喜欢跳舞，还跳得不好看，劈个腿都劈不直，转两圈就有摔倒的危险，冯智戴在空中劈腿如同屁股中箭，房玄龄的舞跳得如同老太太逛街，好好地饭不吃，全都在抽风。
手鼓一声响，各安其位，李二擦着头上的汗水问云烨：“朕的舞跳得如何？”
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