第一八六章 长夜难眠
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见他移开目光，柔娘也松一口气，小声道：“奴婢自从进府后，便一直在这院子里，从来也没人安排事情
漫开了，请大人恕罪。”
沈默笑笑道：“又不是我给发月钱，请我恕那门子罪？”说着有些难以置信道：“你是说，你到这里后，这是第一次伺候人？”
柔娘点点头道：“在里一年，再加上在南京的两年，基本上没有事情做。”
沈默吃惊道：“让你说的我都想来总督府干活了，世上还有这么好的差事？”
“大人真会说笑。”柔娘掩口笑道：“当然不是所有人都这样，而是只有我们这些……”说着神色一黯，便把原本的话咽到了肚子里，转而低声道：“反正以后就不可能这么清闲了。”
沈默却知道她意思……她们是府里专门培养的，用来陪侍贵客的贴身侍女，非得是纯洁处子，还要能解风情，有格调，自然珍贵无比，轻易不会使动。但在一次陪侍之后，便不再有资格继续待在这儿，而是要像一般的使女那样，什么端屎端尿、洗衣扫地的粗活都得干，仿佛从天上掉到地下一般。
想到这，他心里大为不忍，说‘总不能为了一袭欢，就把人家姑娘的好日子给毁了。’总体来说，他是个可以克制自己的人，而且虽然前世有些大男子主义，但与这个时代的男人相比，简直可以算是妇女之友了。即使已经二世为人，他仍然无法将女性视为玩物，也就无法不去考虑对柔娘的影响。寻思一会儿，他轻声道：“放心吧，我不会动你的，这样你就可以继续悠闲地看你的书了。”
听到他如暖般的话语，柔娘的泪水夺眶而出，用锦被紧紧捂住脸，无声的哭泣起来。
她的表现让沈默很错愕，他以为就算不是欢天喜地，至少该向自己道个谢，怎么就哭得这么伤心呢？
好在没哭多长时间，娘便意识到自己并没有哭泣的权利，她擦干泪水，从床上下地，跪在沈默面前，用尽最大的勇气道：“大人的恩情奴婢心领了，但奴婢就是这么个命，过得去初一，过不去十五，与其将来被知什么人糟蹋了，还不如，还不如，”她的脸红得如煮熟的虾子，后面的话是无论如何也说不出来了。
但有些话不用说也明白，见跪在地上求自己宠幸，却没有丝毫得意，反而满心都是垂怜……如果那个时代，像柔娘这样美丽的女子，肯定是集万千宠爱于一身的，可现在她只能接受比草还低贱的命运，什么选择的权力都没有。
暗叹一声，他伸手扶起跪在地上的，便收回双手，轻声道：“你我能抵足夜话，也是一段奇妙的缘分。罢了罢了，让本官尽量帮帮你吧。”
柔娘抬起头，难以置信的望着沈默，他却一言不发，什么都不说……殊不大人正在暗暗后悔，心中骂道：‘能把一段旖旎搞得如此高尚，你怎么就对女人狠不下心来呢？’
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
等到了天亮以后，两人若无其事的起身，该伺候的伺候，该享受的享受，仿佛一切都没发生。正在吃早饭呢，便听外面一阵叽叽喳喳，不一会儿，柔娘领进个粉雕玉琢的小女娃来，正是那可爱的小阿蛮。
一看到她，沈默的脸上便浮现出由衷的笑容，只是口里还含着小米稀饭，得赶紧咽下去才能打招呼。
阿蛮是个有礼貌的好孩子，一看到沈默也很开心，双眼眯成月牙儿一般，脆生生道：“大叔，你早啊。”
笑容凝滞在沈默的脸上，他差点没被噎死，也不顾口里还有东西了，喷道：“我有那么老吗？”
阿蛮吓得直往柔娘身后藏，柔娘赶紧解释道：“大人，这是瓦氏夫人的小孙女，说要来烤……小鸟。”
沈默哪用她介绍，赶紧起身对阿蛮又作揖又道歉，直说自己刚才是呛着了，所以说话才那么大声。
阿蛮怯生生道：“那我们可以去烤鸟了吗，大叔？”这孩子一时还没有从惊吓中回过劲儿来。
沈默自然不敢再大声，只好摆出一副最和蔼的笑容道：“叫我大哥，不要叫我大叔，好吗？”
“好吧，大叔。”阿蛮认真的点头道：“我们现在可以去烤鸟了吗？”——
－－——
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