第六十二章 娘咧,上厕所咋整啊!
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洛雁对这些人也很好奇,当个故事来听听也是不错,也连声催促。
这两人一个是警校毕业,一个是国外知名大学高材生,一直让陈易这个没有受过多少教育的半文盲很不爽,本想着借着这个机会先卖个关子,挑逗她们一番,再装成像刘大君教授一样学富五车的社会学者,给她们普及一下文化知识,“扫一下盲”。可第一个关子还没卖完,就惹得这两人一边一个的或是撒娇或是冷斥,他一个小处男哪里能架得住形同冰火两重天般的待遇,只能乖乖缴械投降。
“要说那些神仙级的人物啊,还真不少,上古时代的伏羲青帝,轩辕黄帝,老子周耳,周朝的文王姬昌,始皇帝身边的练气术士徐福,还有诸葛武侯,袁天罡,刘伯温,杨筠公,蒲松龄,白莲圣母……”
韩闻雪洛雁终于见识了什么叫神棍,什么叫口才,陈易躺在床上,手脚不能动,跟个高位截瘫的病人没什么区别。
但仅凭一张破嘴,就把两人说的心驰神往恨不得立马抓个多啦a梦,开启时光机,回到那个年代。
如果不是没有个小碗摆在那里,两人绝对会掏出兜里所有的毛爷爷打赏给这个化身说书先生的神棍。
伺候陈易吃完晚饭,韩闻雪洛雁两人买来瓜子花生等零食,又坐到陈易病床前,等着他继续开启神棍讲坛。
“快说啊,说到那个李靖红拂和虬髯客三人的三角恋了,红拂最后跟了谁?是李靖吗?我觉着李靖比较好,文质彬彬白面书生一个……”
“我觉得还是和虬髯客比较配,奇女子配豪侠,浪迹天涯,踏遍山水,朝看庭前花开,暮睹余晖日落,多有意境,多么幸福……”
一出古代历史课,不知是陈易讲的有问题,还是两人听得不对,硬生生变成了洒满狗血的韩剧。
“快点说啊,你怎么停下了?”洛雁催促。
“是不是口渴?我给你拿水”,
韩闻雪把早就凉好的开水倒进杯子,放上吸管,端到陈易嘴边。
两人被撩拨的心猿意马,陈易却忽然闭口不言,急得洛雁韩闻雪直跺脚。
“那个,能不能先解决个事儿?”
陈易讪讪问道,脸色尴尬。
“什么事快说?”
韩闻雪洛雁异口同声,神情着急。
“那个,我想上厕所,憋了一下午了,实在憋不住了”,陈易脸红的跟个烤熟了的乳猪一样。
可不是吗,他早就想上厕所了,只是两个大姑娘在身边看着,实在拉不下脸,再憋下去,说不定还真出现一出活人被尿憋死的头条新闻。
“啊?你想上厕所?那个,闻雪伺候人心细,你让她来吧”,洛雁很不好讲义气,完全忘了是谁在心里发誓要用一辈子来偿还他,一转身跑了个没影儿。
韩闻雪脸红到脖子,“你都能打人,就不能自己去啊,对了,刚才忘了给你买晚上的饭了,食堂可能要关门了,我马上去看看。”
韩闻雪比洛雁好不到哪里去,“嗖”的一声,紧随洛雁而去。
“白眼狼,臭娘们,臭不要脸的……”
陈易破口大骂,可两人却充耳不闻。他只能咬着牙,流着冷汗,一瘸一拐走进厕所……
半晌之后,陈易哭了,真哭了!
因为疼痛,造成全身肌肉紧张,根本就尿不出来也拉不出来……
“娘咧,这该咋整啊?”
陈易仰天痛哭,哭晕在厕所。
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