第2500章 就是这么偏心
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拳王沉默片刻，“你听错了，总之，节制私生活，不要再搞得满城皆知，明白吗？”
“哦。”
韩特揉鼻子，随口道，“我尽量啦！”
“……尽量？”
拳王晶眼闪烁，陷入沉思，片刻之后，面无表情朝韩特凑了过来。
“咔嚓咔嚓，咔嚓咔嚓”，两条机械臂分解开来，露出各种寒光闪闪的手术器械。
韩特不寒而栗，从对方阴冷的目光中察觉到了强烈的危机，吓得哇哇乱叫：“拳王大人，究竟怎么了嘛，您、您该不会想要打我吧？您不能打我，您是要保护我的，您不能伤害我！”
“没错，我当然不会伤害你，而是要全心全意、竭尽所能保护你。”
拳王换了一种无比温柔的音调，道，“我要保护你不受任何威胁的攻击——包括病毒。”
“病毒？”
韩特愣住，“什、什么病毒？”
“各种各样的病毒，特别是因为过于混乱的私生活而带来的真菌、细菌和病毒。”
拳王的右臂分解，如长鞭般甩了开来，用力扒韩特的裤子，“鉴于你过去一段时间的表现，我判定你的下半身正处在各种病菌的极大威胁中，为了你的安全，我要帮你进行全面消毒。”
“下半身，全面消毒？”
韩特脸色煞白，看到拳王左手缓缓伸出来的消毒器械，愈发恐惧，尖叫道，“那根又粗又长的钢针又是干什么的，太夸张了吧！”
“是用来进行内壁消毒的。”
拳王将韩特牢牢固定在地上，呈“太”字形，解释道，“如果你要对一条水管进行消毒，外壳只是其次，内壁才是重点，对吧？”
“啊！”
韩特正欲回答，却已经疼得说不出话来，只是涕泪聚下地惨叫，“啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！”
他足足惨叫了三分钟，变成一只煮熟的虾米，拳王才停止动作。
“好了，你的小水管已经一尘不染，光亮如新，暂时不会遭受任何病毒和细菌的威胁了。”
拳王道，“不过，如果你继续出去拈花惹草，依旧有极大概率被病毒和细菌再度入侵，所以接下来，我会根据你的生活方式，判断你还要不要接受新的预防性治疗——从内到外，全面消毒。”
“我错了。”
韩特气若游丝，捂着小肚子不停痉挛，“我真的知错了，哥！”
“很好。”
拳王点头，忽然换了个天马行空的话题，“对了，知不知道琉璃最喜欢吃什么？”
“啊？”
古怪的问题，令韩特一时间忘记了下半身如彗星撞陨石般的痛楚，“什么情况？”
“我不是问她平常的口味，是问有什么食物能让她一吃就感到惊喜的，就像是……”
拳王搜索数据库，“就像是书上说的，能从心里升起太阳，太阳又像是雨伞般绽放，伞面上还有鲜花盛开的那种惊喜？”
韩特的汗毛都要抖落下来了：“这，这什么形容方式啊，拳王大人，您……中晶脑病毒了吗？”
“并不是，我只是希望给琉璃一个惊喜，能让她保持最完美的工作状态，好好打磨我的身体。”
拳王死死盯着韩特，“有没有——最好是隐藏在她记忆深处，连她自己都忘记的那种味道。”
毫无人性的眼神，让韩特冷冷打了个哆嗦，把小肚子捂得更紧，结结巴巴道：“……有吧，琉璃最喜欢吃她妈妈烧的溏心荷包蛋面，不过要放两个荷包蛋，一个摊在上面，一个深深埋在最底下。
“鸡蛋是孽土上最珍贵的食材，因为不方便空投，很容易碎的，所以只有琉璃生日的时候，她妈妈才会做给她吃，埋在下面的那个荷包蛋，就是‘惊喜’啦，每次琉璃都吃得很开心。
“不过，自从她妈妈去世之后，就再没人给她做过了，就算做了，最多放一个荷包蛋在上面，哪有第二个埋到下面这么奢侈的？”
“明白了。”
拳王若有所思，起身就走，“我走了，你伤得不轻，快自己去医疗室弄点药抹一抹。”
“我哪里还走得动路？”
韩特欲哭无泪，颤声道，“拳王大人，哥，您就不能背我去吗？”
“不能。”
拳王冷冷拒绝，“我要赶着回去给琉璃烧溏心荷包蛋面，治疗她的心灵创伤——她伤很重的，至于你这点小伤还死不了，我扫描过，周围不存在任何致命威胁，你完全可以自己一步步慢慢挪到医疗室去。”
“烧面……小伤……死不了……”
韩特艰难低头，看着自己遍体鳞伤、淤青肿胀的身体，悲愤欲绝，“拳王大人，耀老可是把我和琉璃一起托付给您，要您守护我们的，这差距也太大了！您不是这么偏心吧？”
拳王已经走出去两步，听到这话，又转回来，蹲在韩特面前，端端正正地点了一下头。
“是。”
拳王认真道，“我就是这么偏心。”
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