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第377章 打死赵大傻

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最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com

说这些高方平是无比认真的。龙腾小说ltxsba.com起初,小高还怀疑过恐怕历史掩盖了真相,显恭皇后不是病死而是自杀。现在看来真的是“想多啦”。照这么看来,她真是因为体弱无法休息,处于恶性循环中,二十几岁身体器官就全面衰竭。

这不是吹牛,大脑一但暴走,是真会主动指挥着身体死亡的。

人会被惊死吓死,悲观怨世的人活的较短,这是有原因的。一个健康的身体,心脏不会随便停止跳动、心脏不会知道了什么。人所的感受和意识由大脑决定,所以受到惊讶过阀值的时候,大脑撂挑子,告诉心脏“你别跳了,体制已经解散”。然后心脏就停止供血了,人就是这样被吓死的。

放到国家层面,当年澶渊之盟前夕,朝廷那些被吓到的主和派的策略是不抵抗,打算放弃北方防线迁都避祸。其实那就是亡国之兆,皇帝若真是吓到信了他们,下令北方停止运转,北方当然就死亡了。算好寇准够猥琐,不同意“北方心脏停止跳动”。

额,扯远了。

话说高方平真说到了皇后娘的心心坎之上。在以往,她的确是昏睡很长时间,却老也睡不够。现在皇后娘已经没有了皇帝的爱,什么也不怕了,就怕死,怕不能伴随着儿女长大,她认为一但不在了,儿女会受到欺负的。

于是被吓得不轻的她,摸着胸口顺气许久又问道:“这个冬天,炭火比往年烧的还多些,那为何本宫感觉身体状况比以前好些呢?”

高方平文绉绉的说道:“这就要说道我‘大锻体术秘传’的功劳了。臣让我高俅老爹交给您的秘籍,其实叫有氧运动。您在室外有氧运动的时候,全身血液大运转,配合肺部大量抽气,让血液携带了最充足的氧气周身循环,流比平时快几倍的经过大脑,于是形成了一定意义上的‘还债’,勉强维持了大脑的供养。臣敢肯定,之前的您已经好多了,但是入冬以来,几乎又陷入了和以前差不多的状况,睡眠不好了,越来越怕冷。”

“的确是这样。”显恭皇后点头道,“本宫还一度怀疑,你贡献来的养身丹,以及锻体秘籍不起作用了。”

“娘娘勿要怀疑我小高的忠勇和智慧,锻体术和养身丹更不能停止,您雍容华贵的身躯良好着呢,只是说您的那个脑壳、现在变为了一个极其低效的中书门下,正在全面腐蚀着您尊贵的身体。杨戬那个奸贼送来的炭火,可以比作朱勔他们送给陛下的花石纲,只要停止了,坚持有氧运动和营养平衡,娘娘就能像一朵永开不败的鲜花,永久的绽放,永久的承托着大宋。”高方平道。

“!”皇后娘觉得这个小奸臣果然够猥琐,就是说养身问题,他都要顺便抹黑一下杨戬和朱勔那些人。

“你和朱勔王黼他们历来对立,也就不说了,杨戬又是什么鬼,他怎么得罪你了,你要黑他?”皇后娘愕然道。

汗。

小高也意料不到自己写的西游记带给她们影响这么深,连皇后娘都满口“黑话”了。

高方平尴尬的摊手道:“看来错怪杨戬了哈,主要我对太监有些偏见。”

皇后娘点了点头又道:“还有,听起来刚刚虽然在说养身问题,但更像你在形容本宫的脑子进水了?你竟敢说本宫的脑壳变为了一个低效的‘朝廷’?”

“娘娘您误会了,我只是打个比方,并非是我对社会不满。”高方平尴尬道。

皇后娘把小高的话全盘听进去了,干脆就命人撤离了全部炭火,现在她的怀里抱着个热水壶。

热水壶就是后世的热水袋,用铜,灌入滚烫的开水,外面套上一层厚厚的棉布壳子。这东西要随时换热水,很麻烦,当然没有炭火方便。然而她是皇后,有无数人使唤,所以是无所谓的。

接下来,皇后娘打量着小高,从上到下仔细的看,几年年不见这小子,长高了不少,变得英俊而神武了,举止言辞无比的轻奸猾,然而就是这样的一个以往京里的少年,如今已是皇帝的一方顶梁柱,做成了许多大事,东奔西走的在给皇家擦屁股。

“来,过来让本宫好好的看看。”

皇后娘招手后,高方平想溜走,却是马上又被揪着耳朵揪回来。

她也就比高方平大五岁,却如同长辈一样的摸着小高的脑壳,顷刻又改为捏捏脸,说道:“这一年来东奔西走,听闻你闯了不少祸,也做成了许多事,觉不觉得苦?”

“我是一颗小小的石头额,是螺丝钉,哪里需要去哪里。”高方平说道。

皇后考虑了顷刻道:“赵桓需要的时候呢?”

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