第607章 这不关我的事
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刘太后又懒洋洋的造型,轻抚着胸口道:“你小高倒是弄了些玩意来了,可皇后却偏偏不合时宜,前阵子下令后宫用度所见,本宫亦在波及范畴,那也不说了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com此番她又下旨,说是麻将风气过度有损正常皇城事宜,并把初一十五定为了不许搓麻将的日子,这步,今个正是禁麻日,本宫也无聊了。”
高方平瀑布汗啊,皇后娘她也和我小高一样,整日就干些拉仇恨的事,也难怪她那么不受欢迎了。
甩甩头,高方平道:“太后娘娘有所不知,距离产生美感,适当的休战才能更好的作战。休停时候的无聊,才能让大家更好的体会大战时候的乐趣。”
刘太后不悦的道:“你只说,这是不是你给皇后出的馊主意?”
高方平如何会上当,这个问题怎么回答都错,回答否,她恨皇后,回答不是,那老刘就粗暴的恨我小高了不是。
于是高方平干脆摊手道:“太后娘娘别在问问题,要不您直接过来打我一顿得嘞。”
陈淼有些惊悚的看着不良少年,感慨于他的机智啊。
刘太后觉得他说的好笑,掩嘴噗嗤一笑,同时也觉得他的要求太诡异了。
“哀家哪敢对你动手,否则蔡相公又来咆哮可吃不消。”刘太后半讽刺半开玩笑的道。
这样一来高方平就放心了,当时把老蔡拖入贼船,弄来这里震住了场面,还是有些威慑力的。老蔡除了是宰相还是太师,皇帝的老师他当然可以督查皇家不良风气。
刘太后又摸着胸口道:“也不是说本宫专门和皇后过不去,只是这个不搓麻将啊,无所事事的坐在这里,本宫这心理闷的慌。小高你是否有什么好办法?”
高方平开始扯犊子道:“关于这个心慌胸闷呢,属于油脂摄入太多,运动不足。臣有一计可破。把您的指头,深入您的喉咙处捣鼓下,哇的一下吐了出来,喝口清茶,套上健身圈出去扭他一百几十下,就会好的多。那个时候娘娘您会双眼冒光,有神采,看什么都会觉得尤其顺眼。”
刘太后半张着嘴巴少顷才道:“你是不是喝醉了,竟敢说本宫吃的多动的少。难道呕吐也变好事了?”
高方平尴尬的道:“臣是认真的。”
刘太后竟是也楞了楞,开始思考了。
“娘娘,您不会真的听这犊子胡扯吧?”陈淼感觉不是太好的道。
这两日有不少人说这个大阴人的闲话,加之刘太后目下娱乐多,对他的依赖有所减缓,于是不爱听他说了,还有点叛逆的样子道:“本宫还真相想试试,快些取痰盂来。”
高方平便双眼发黑,她真打算试?
少顷痰盂来了,刘太后故意摆手道:“你等转身,禁止偷看本宫不雅之态,捂耳。”
高方平就照做了。
陈淼道:“老仆一直伺候太后,应该不在此列。”
刘青菁便有些反感他,原来习惯了他那也不说了,但和高方平放在一起的时候,有对比才知道美丑啊,也不是说刘太后不讲情面,而是颜值真能决定正义程度。
“你也不例外,转身遮耳。”
刘太后吩咐了后,这才用温水净手,依照高方平的指点,伸入了喉咙深处去捣鼓,这种黏黏的又湿滑的手感,竟是很诡异的让她想起捣鼓其他地方的感受来。
却是YY不完一阵呕心,哇的就呕吐出来了不少东西。
看去,痰盂里被那些不易消化的大鱼大肉占据了不少位置,并且气味难闻。
用温盐水漱口洗手,又用帕子擦干净嘴巴和手后,摆手命人抬了下去。又吩咐他们转身。
并且仔细感觉了一下,似乎还真的舒服了不少。
“娘娘威武,堪比关云长刮骨疗毒。病痛既去,臣告退……”
却是说不完,刘青菁打断道:“不许跑,既是你出的主意,跟随本宫出去,等着我玩健身圈。”
高方平摇手道:“不不不,这是宦官内臣的责任,那不关我小高的事。”
“分明和你有关,这个圈圈是你发明设计的,没人更比你可以掌握住精髓,你亦是皇家判匠作监事,有义务为皇家的事尽力,跟本宫出来,不许跑。”
刘太后带着圈子走了出去。陈淼就此又被无视了……
外面雪地上,刘太后取下了披风,便开始扭啊扭,技术还行,圈子呼啦呼啦的旋转了起来。
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