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第855章 你知道怎么生孩子吗?

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一边想着,耶律清苑一边哭泣着说道:“算你狠,今日咱们栽你手里,也从来不指望落得周全。不论是将来换上假手、假脚,还是假屁股,小姐我都认了。然而你得说话算话,我这番遭遇你要是敢落在萧妹妹身上,我就和你没完。”

高方平又抽了一棍子喝道:“你声音那么大干嘛,我是讲义气的人。你以为是你们这种过河拆桥见利忘义的脑残女?”

耶律清苑怒道:“你才见利忘义过河拆桥呢,我耶律清苑一但承诺比真金还真。”

听到她再次承诺,高方平就放心了,把棍子一扔道:“好吧原本还想再撸三十棍,然而所谓英雄重英雄,权且记在帐上,下次若在闹事便一起处罚。”

见他不打耶律清苑了,萧哩娜觉得他好有爱心好有汉子气概,又哭又笑的道:“谢谢……谢谢手下留情。”

耶律清苑气的捶地道:“萧妹妹你怎么回事,节操被狗吃了,他不打了,咱们还要谢谢他不杀之恩啊?”

可萧哩娜脑残了,认为他原本敢打也会打,后面却忽然不打了,当然是恩情了。

道理就是这样的耶,萧哩娜喜欢看那些文青写的故事话本,发现了一个规律,别看一开始故事里的人有多坏多可恨,但他们往往只要在最后做件好事,基本就能得到大多数读者的谅解。相反做了一辈子好人的那个家伙,末了做错一件事,大家就都开始讨厌这些好人了。不知道为什么耶?

譬如现在辽国也有两部地摊小说叫《新射雕》和《新神雕》,作者乃是宋国那个猪肉平,李清照代笔写的。萧哩娜发现李清照好会带节奏啊,射雕里的老毒物险些被人恨出屎来,但在神雕里他对杨过的一丝善念真情,李清照却偷天换日的让他不可恨了。相反人气了整个射雕的蓉妹妹,在神雕里原则上她都不算错,就是对杨过多了些被迫害妄想心思,就在李清照的节奏之下,蓉妹妹从头讨厌到尾。

于是看起来高方平拥有这种偷天换日的带节奏能力,他就是做了坏事也能让人觉得他不讨厌。

就此,萧哩娜得出了结论说道:“童话里说了,坏人都会被谅解,好人都有可恨之处。他虽然人渣了些,可他总体很有分寸,有爱心的,人又长的帅。老子们两个这么拉仇恨的过街老鼠他都原谅了咱们,说明他大度,很像传说中宰相肚里能乘船的人物,某些方面有我爷爷的风范哦。”

我@#¥

耶律清苑和高方平不禁面面相视了起来,也弄不明白这个脑残女她是不是认真的?

高方平已经不知道要怎么说她们了,怀疑她们也是两穿越者,却是从某精神病院里穿出来的,俗称穿越疯人院。

“哥还是见好就收了吧,以免阴沟里翻车。”

这么想着,高方平直接扔了棍子,一声不吭的走了。做出了神龙见首不见尾、来去如风的神秘大高手的风范。

到底是著名软脚虾,萧哩娜看着他消失的方位喃喃道:“虐待人都虐待的这么酷,他厉害了有木有?小姐我死也把这人收服在帐下。”

耶律清苑捂着屁股哭道:“呜呜,可我都答应过不记仇放过他了,出来混哪有隔夜仇。说了话就必须算话。”

萧哩娜不禁大怒道:“耶律妹妹你要叛变了啊?”

耶律清苑一阵郁闷,可惜作为一个大姐头,她偏偏不敢背负叛变的名节,也不知道该如何办。于是岔开道:“萧妹妹你帮我看看,我的屁股是不是又大了一些,要不要去宋国换一个?”

萧哩娜笑倒在地上:“屁股怎么换嘛,换了怎么生孩子?难道生个假儿子啊?”

耶律清苑就好奇的道:“萧妹妹你知道女人怎么生孩子吗?”

萧哩娜老脸一红,其实她也不知道,只得支支吾吾的道:“具体的我也不晓得啦,听我娘说孩子是从河里捡来的。可我从来也没见过有人从河里捡孩子。还听一些猥琐大叔说‘屁股大好生养’,于是经过多方推测,才被我想明白了孩子应该是女人生的。”

耶律清苑道:“那咱们要什么时候才知道怎么生孩子?”

萧哩娜咬着指头想了想,说道:“等生出来的时候就知道啦。”

……

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