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1928 可怜的老外交家

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一世清名毁于一旦啊!费迪南子爵想死的心都有了,一辈子干外交经验丰富的他,没想到一把年纪了还会犯这种错误。更多小说ltxsba.com

放屁!这是每个人都有的一种生理行为,肠道内食物和微生物发酵所产生的气体,总不能憋在身体里面,总得有一个出口排泄出去。

放屁并不可耻,但是放屁却被整个人类文明认为是不文雅的事情,尤其是在正式场合,比如说外交谈判场合这更是一种忌讳。

倒不是说一个屁就能让谈判彻底破裂,而是说一个屁足以毁掉你所精心打造出的氛围,一种谈判的气场可能就因为一个屁而彻底被破坏掉。

真正老外交官都是很注重饮食的,尤其是在重要谈判之前,他们的饮食都是经过精心搭配的,清淡无油腻,干净无污染,低盐少水。

这可是有道理的,目的就是防止谈判期间放屁、腹泻、尿频等等的杂事,从而保证一鼓作气完成整场艰难的谈判。

费迪南怎么会不懂这个道理?可是一辈子谨慎结果在临退休的时候,却闹了一把大大的笑话。

在场的人真的无法形容领事大人的这个屁……实在是……实在是太让人记忆犹新了。

整个屁声调变幻而且悠扬漫长,从发出单个爆破声之后就进入长达五六秒的排气声音中,大体上就是砰……一声爆破音,然后呲……一阵长达好几秒气体冲击布料的悠长声音。

这还真是一种本事,一般人很少能排出如此巨量的肠道气体,所以这个巨屁顿时惊呆了在场所有的人。

随着声音而来的当然就是那股巨臭了,人们真的难以形容这种气味,在场的华族官兵们一个个都以为自己打翻了六必居的臭豆腐缸。

而现场的欧洲人也第一时间想起了北欧有名的臭鲱鱼,那可是整个欧洲人闻之色变的恐怖食物,敢尝试的人真没有几个。

以费迪南子爵为圆心,恶臭的生化冲击波开始环形扩散,在场人无不捂着口鼻恶心欲吐。

所有的人,包括法国人自己也都把惊恐的目光投向了费迪南领事,而这位老外交官已经脸红的如火炭一样了。

“我……我我……啊……厕所在什么地方!”没有机会辩解了,费迪南就感觉肚子里一阵绞痛,如同万把尖刀来回穿刺一样,疼的他捂着屁话就往西面黑暗处奔跑。

谈判的地点并不在第五站小镇之内,船队此刻已经深入河道很远了,河堤两侧全是沙漠和低矮的灌木。

人们只见老领事窜入黑暗中,不一会沙丘背后就听到噼里啪啦……噗嗤的痛快巨响,在场人全都一脸的尴尬。

“那个……那个你们还不赶紧去帮帮领事?还不找医生去!”杰森捂着嘴对发呆的法国人说道,这时候那几名武官还有士兵才恍然大悟,顶着恶臭冲了过去。

“不好了……领事大人上吐下泻了……”

“昏过去了……子爵大人昏到那一滩大便上了……呕!”

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