第一一三章彼其娘之
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苏轼忽然不哼哼了,瞪大了眼睛看了铁心源良久之后才怒骂道:“铁青蛙!别以为你弄成这样子老子就不知道你是谁。
就算老子不积口德,你也不能把文大哥害得那么惨,你告诉我,文大哥不会有事吧?”
竟然被认出来了,铁心源吐出嘴里的小核桃,三两把把弄得乱糟糟的烫发用绳子系在脑后怒骂道:“就你聪明,既然瞧破了老子身份,不杀人灭口是不成了。”
苏轼一脸的鄙夷,拍着胸口耻笑道:“你杀过人吗?老子嘴馋想要杀一只鸡都会割在自己手上,听说国子监里历来只养废物,你敢杀人?
放老子走,最多为你保密,文大哥和我既然在背后骂了长公主,你身为公主情人,殴打老子一顿也有那么点道理,看在你现在倒霉的份上,那首《桃花诗》送你了,拿去哄公主,挨揍的事情老子就不和你一般计较了。”
铁心源喝了一口酒,又给苏轼灌了一口酒落寞的道:“老子去了西域就没干别的事情,光顾着杀人了,这一年多被老子杀掉的人,没有一万也有八千。
你以为老子这个马贼的身份是假的?告诉你,西域最大的马贼一片云就是老子。”
苏轼这个人的脑子似乎和别人不一样,听说铁心源真的是马贼之后,不但不害怕,反而强撑着臃肿的身体如同一条肥蛆一般的拱过来贼目烁烁的看着铁心源道:“你真的是一片云?京城里的胡商说一片云是一个糟老头子!”
“那个糟老头如今被我锁在我的大狱里面,日夜拷打,就为了问出这个马贼王的藏宝之地。”
“于是乎,你就顶着一片云的名声四处招摇撞骗?这确实是一个好法子,到处敛财却无人知晓是你干的坏事,呀呀呀,太厉害了,不愧是铁青蛙,果然有独坐池塘如虎踞的气势,对了,你是怎么捉住一片云的?
看你的武力也不够强,你要是敢说你一出手就捉住了一片云,小心老子彼其娘之!”
铁心源把手里的酒壶递给了苏轼笑道:“这个积年悍匪自然不是那么容易捉到的。
当时老子在西域建造了一座大城,名叫清香城,我用尽了法子,才让这座城变成了哈密之地最繁华的所在。
没想到这个老贼见清香城富裕,就到了三千马贼准备劫掠清香城。
结果,我修造的清香城,与西域的夯土城池大不一样,城墙不但高还陡峭,那些马贼竟然没有携带攻城器具就想拿下清香城。
结果,被我万众一心的清香城民众击败,等他想到要逃走的时候我已经派人从后面堵截了他的去路。
老贼眼见进退无路,就想出一个法子想要攀援绝壁离开包围圈……”
“老贼连高达二三十丈的绝壁也能爬上去?”苏轼听得过瘾,连连往嘴里灌酒,还不忘指出其中的要害。
“老贼豢养了一头山魈……”
“你弄到财宝了没有?”
“弄到了一部分,还有一部分迟早也是老子的,我就用这一部分财宝在西域之地招兵买马,准备干一番大事业,你想不想去?”
苏轼一口气喝光了酒壶里的酒,仰面朝天躺在湿漉漉的地上瞅着天空中缓慢飘过来的阴云叹口气道:“这可是班定远绝域五十城的大功业啊……”
铁心源懒懒的靠在桃树上慵懒的道:“我在西域没有一日不是过的惊心动魄的,之所以能够活到今天,完全是因为老子足够聪明。
想当初我孤身一人踏上西行路,你知道朝廷给了我什么东西?
一张圣旨,一枚征西大将军的汉印,听说还是蜀国大将魏延用过的。
当年老子谈着深秋的寒风离开的东京,只有老母以泪眼送行,如今,老子回来了,带着骄兵悍将和富足的使节团,我就想接回我心爱的人儿。
若不能完成这一桩大事,老子绝不回西域!”
苏轼跟着叹口气道:“我之所以会认出你来,完全是因为老子刚才一直在思索自己挨揍的原因。
直到你说老子在意淫寡妇公主的时候,才突然想明白文同大哥为什么会被你报复,我为什么会被你揍,原因就是我们在酒铺的时候嘴巴太臭。
其实说公主这种话的人很多,毕竟,我大宋公主十八岁了还没有出嫁已经成了奇闻,要说这世上不容别人嚼公主舌头的人,除了官家之外,就只有你铁青蛙了。”
苏轼钦佩的瞅着铁心源道:“你对长公主倾心,长公主也对你念念不忘啊。
这些年来,求娶公主的人可以从东京排到洛阳,却都被公主所拒。
我们还以为公主此生无望与你相见,没想到你已经来到了东京,真是令人钦佩!”
铁心源笑道:“能帮我吗?”
苏轼笑着准备点头,却不小心扯到了肚子,一阵剧痛淹没了他的理智,张嘴道:“彼其娘之!”()
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