第一千一百二十三章 宠爱不均
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“还不说话?”
“真撕了?喏,爪子都亮出来了!”
“哼!”
“……撕不碎。”
黄岚一个人在那自言自语又上蹿下跳的忙活了许久,安阳也坐在对面沙发上翘着二郎腿一言不发的看戏看了许久,最后黄岚还是妥协了,丧气的将手机扔给安阳,道:“把这个弄不动的疙瘩还给你,不过我事先声明,我没有吃醋也没有生闷气,本王只是身体不适,知道了吗?”
“知道!”安阳爽快回答道。
黄岚刚露出满意之色,又听他道:“只是因为我的宠爱分配不均而产生的一些……现象而已嘛,都是我的错,下来我会好好检讨我自己的。”
“那我就放……胡说八道!”
“对了黄岚道友,真算起年岁的话,从你得道化形开始算起,你今年到底多少岁啦?”
“为什么要告诉你!”
“我很认真的问的。”
“为什么要问!”
“因为我发现你今天的不讲道理很像我们地球的女性到了一定年龄之后因为生理变化而产生的情绪异常。”安阳一本正经的盯着黄岚,“所以我想问清楚,如果你是的话,最近这段时间我应该对你好一点,毕竟大家都这么说。”
“什么啊……噢!我就是!”黄岚摆出大爷姿态看着他,“所以你可以对我好一点了,我今天中午想吃酱肘花、东坡肘子、卤肘子和清蒸肘子!”
“那请问你经期……”安阳一脸为难的迟疑了许久,才接着道,“停了么?”
“啊?什么?”黄岚愣了半天,才突然反应过来,脸色一红,“你在说什么呢,我又不是你们人类,哪来那种玩意儿,我堂堂百兽之王,时刻要宣示我的威严,怎么可能允许那么麻烦的玩意儿来拖我后腿!”
“那你卵巢功能逐渐衰退了吗?”
黄岚脸色更红了,诺诺道:“这这就更不可能了,虽然本王乃天下英豪,从来就没有生子的打算,可本王正当青春年华,又是修行者,身体的一切机能绝对是完好的!”
“产子。”安阳纠正道。
“安阳道友,我要和你决斗。”
“好啦,说正事吧。”安阳皱起眉头思考许久,才道,“既然你暖巢功能没有衰退,也没有经期,那究竟是什么原因导致你的雌激素水平下降进而引起植物神经功能紊乱、代谢障碍等一系列症候群的呢?哦对了,说白了,就是你今天不讲道理的原因。”
“什、什么原因……”黄岚都整蒙了。
“嗯?你不是承认了吗?”
“我承认什么了?”黄岚不解的望着他。
“更年期啊!”
“那是什么。。。”
“……好了,我想我知道了。”安阳一脸无奈的叹了口气,不管如何,总算成功的转移开了这只母老虎的注意力。
瞧,她现在就完全顾不上生闷气,转而拿出自己的手机搜索更年期的资料了。
安阳看了她几秒,忽然起身伸了个懒腰,道:“太困了,黄岚道友你先玩着吧,我要上楼休息了。”
“可是现在才早晨诶。”黄岚埋头打字,头也没抬的道,“请问你是猪吗?”
“你们猫科动物不都经常白天懒洋洋的趴在一个地方睡觉吗?”
“那是因为我们的力量更强,长期保持活跃状态的话会消耗很多能量,毕竟我们不像是狐狸啊兔子之类的,就算是同体型的猫也能轻轻松松咬死狐狸。”黄岚道。
“不行了,我得走了。”安阳没接她吹牛的话,快步往楼上走去。
这时小倩同志端着一盘东西走了过来,诧异的看了眼安阳,然后在黄岚身边坐下,将盘子放在她面前的茶几上,道:“夫君这是怎么了?怎么这么仓皇的往楼上跑啊?……来尝尝我特意给你做的降龙鸡爪,一抿就化了,玩饿了的时候当零食吃。”
她一脸温婉亲和的看着黄岚。
然而黄岚却少见的没有被食物的香气吸引,而是低头专心的看着屏幕上,许久才抬起头来,眼冒凶光。
刹那间,她周围隐隐出现数百道狰狞恐怖的鬼影,一时阴风席卷,鬼哭狼嚎,直到她抬头凝视向二楼的方向,凄厉的鬼叫声在此时达到巅峰!
接着她转过头,看着小倩同志:“小倩姐姐,麻烦通知下安阳道友,我要和他单……唔!”
小倩同志笑眯眯的看着她:“怎么样?是不是一抿就化了,我可是从昨天晚上就开始做的呢,一直到今早才勉强达到这个效果呢!”
“唔唔……噗!”黄岚好不容易将软糯的鸡爪吃完,吐出骨头,眼中凶光不减,继续道,“小倩姐姐你别拦着我,那家伙实在太可恶了,竟然拐着弯说我更年期到了,我以万兽之王的荣誉发誓一定要和他……唔!”
小倩同志完全没听清她在说什么,只继续用那温柔如水的眼神看着她:“刚才那个是卤香原味的,这个是麻辣烧烤味的,你尝尝味道怎么样,哪个更好吃?如果好吃的话,我就端上去给夫君吃了,不好的话,我就再试试……”
“小倩姐姐……”
“再尝尝这个浓香味的……”
“我……”
“还有这个酱香味的……”
“好吃。”
“是么?”
“嗯,还要。”
“真的好吃么?”
“真的!”
“那我端上去给夫君吃了,你一个人在下面就好好玩游戏,不要抓沙发知道吗?”小倩同志温柔的叮嘱道,端着盘子往楼上走去。
剩下黄岚独自幽怨望着她的背影。
突然,她一个激灵。
咦,我刚才要做什么来着?
感谢订阅!
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