第一章：城管小姐，其实我不想见到你的
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“痛痛痛.......我记得我应该是把坐标顶在太阳花田的才对......”
从一片废墟里站起身的苏墨揉着似乎是最先着地的脑袋，一边表情蛋疼地说道：“虽然这感觉的确是幻想乡没错，但是爱尔奎特呢？还有这是哪儿......如果不小心到了什么麻烦的地方就不好了。”
刚站起来的他都还没来得及观察这周围究竟是什么地方，身后突然想起了一个轻灵的女孩子的声音：“有什么地方会比较麻烦呢？”
“比如迷途竹林啊，虽然我和妹红关系不错但是那里的医生太难搞了。”
苏墨条件反射式地回答到：“还比如博丽神社啦，虽然我之前没去过，但是博丽巫女的凶名我也是久仰了，而且现在我还明显砸坏了这个好像是塞钱箱的东西，如果被抓到的话我一定会被敲诈到死的吧。”
苏墨坦然说着。
“哦？那你觉得在这个幻想乡里什么地方有可能会有塞钱箱这种东西呢？”
不知道是不是什么错觉，苏墨突然感觉女子的声音突然给人一种险恶的感觉——不过那种感觉在他意识到对方提出的问题时瞬间便烟消云散了。
嗯，因为他浑身的冷汗唰一下子就下来了。
“不......不会那么倒霉吧？”
他兀自不信地——然后转过了身子。
清秀的脸庞，头顶上红色的大蝴蝶结，红白两色的露腋巫女装........
“卧槽——！！”
瞬间转身就准备逃走，然而
Duang！！！！！
直接被一颗巨大的阴阳玉砸翻在地。
“哦？撞烂了我博丽神社的东西还想逃？”
苏墨觉得眼前少女的表情异常地险恶。
嗯，也的确异常险恶。
“如果我说是条件反射妹子你信不？”
一秒钟便被制服的苏墨还没来得及怀疑人生呢。
“我信，但是无所谓，赔钱。”
少女蹲在他面前，脸上带着鬼才相信的人畜无害的笑容朝他伸出一只白生生的手掌。
“你知道么前两天我家的塞钱箱才被别人弄坏过一次，刚修好结果你更干脆地把它弄碎了。”
脸上的笑容极其和善。
“卧槽谁这么给力？”
苏墨小声嘀咕着——然后在对方的双眼射出死光之前果断选择认怂地从空间中掏出一大把金币：“小小意思不成敬意——请笑纳。”
他敢肯定，对方在看到这一把金币的时候连呼吸的停滞了——而且把她的小脸都憋红了才想起来呼吸这一回事儿。
“想——想不到你还是个挺识时务的有钱人啊。”
只是一瞬间，苏墨手上的钱币便消失了，接着眼前的红白少女便带着甜腻的笑容凑了上来：“来来来，我们神社的东西随便砸哦，你什么时候砸开心了就可以停下了。”
然后开始怂恿着他砸自个儿老家。
“......”
节操呢妹子？
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