885【闻一多VS刘文典——真人PK】
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“我吃鸦片碍你什么事了？又没花你的钱！”刘文典顿时大怒。
闻一多也怒道：“你在自己家里抽没人管，你在教室里当着学生的面抽就是罪大恶极！中国衰败至今日局面，鸦片就是第一大害人之物！”
刘文典反辱相讥：“我在教室里抽鸦片就是罪大恶极，那你在教室里抽香烟又怎么算？你不仅自己抽烟，上课时还跟学生一起抽，我可没跟学生一起抽鸦片！”
“香烟和鸦片能相提并论吗？简直强词夺理！”闻一多脸都气红了。
刘文典笑道：“都是抽烟，怎么就不一样？”
闻一多呵呵道：“有人不仅上课抽鸦片，还让学校给他安排杂役，专门提茶壶给他冲水。不知道的还以为是地主老财，哪像是堂堂的大学教授？西南联大就不该聘用你当老师！”
刘文典也呵呵道：“我的学问值那个价，你看那沈从文算什么玩意儿？他都能当联大教授，我为什么不可以！”
在几百米外坟地里给学生侃大山的沈从文，突然打了个喷嚏……
两人都是暴脾气，言语冲突很快升级为拳脚斗殴，梅贻琦连忙招呼教授们上前拖开。
闻一多就不说了，易燃易爆炸，怼天怼地怼空气的人物。而刘文典就更牛逼，传言他曾经当众踢过老蒋的裤裆，气得老蒋大骂他是疯子。
当时刘文典是安徽大学校长，老蒋前去视察，见他邋里邋遢的，便问：“你就是刘文典？”
刘文典很不高兴，反问：“你就是常凯申？”
常凯申说：“安徽大学里有共党，影响非常不好，必须严惩那些罢课学生。”
刘文典说：“我这里只有老师和学生，不知道谁是共党。你是总司令，你带好你的兵；我是大学校长，学校的事由我负责。”
常凯申大怒，指着刘文典的鼻子说：“你这个学阀！”
刘文典也指着常凯申鼻子：“你这个军阀！”
常凯申又说：“教不严，师之惰。学生夜毁女校，破坏北伐秩序，是你这学阀横行，不对你撤职查办，就对不起先总理的在天之灵！”
刘文典说：“提起先总理，我和他在东京闹革命时，根本不晓得你的名字。青年学生虽说风华正茂，但不等于成熟理性，不能以三十而立看待，些许小事不要小题大做。”
两人越说越僵，刘文典突然冲上去，照着老蒋的裤裆就给了一脚——好吧，踢裆传闻应该属于杜撰，但前面那些对话绝对是真的。
刘文典看不起沈从文也是人众皆知的事实，他曾在课堂里给学生说：“要讲教授嘛，陈寅恪可以拿一块钱，我刘文典拿一毛钱，沈从文只能值一分钱。”
有一次学校遭到轰炸，刘文典和学生护卫着陈寅恪奔跑，半路上遇到也在跑警报的沈从文。刘文典立即大骂道：“我被炸死了，就没人给学生讲了，你沈从文跑什么跑？”
沈从文被骂得一脸懵逼，也懒得跟这疯子计较，假装没听见感快躲开了。
再过四年，闻一多就要提出对刘文典解聘，一番争论后梅贻琦予以同意，刘文典只能灰溜溜地离开西南联大——然后去了云南大学，工资更高。
主要是当时刘文典做得太过分了，他擅自离校跑去普尔抽大烟，原因是普尔那边的鸦片质量顶尖。他扔下学生一走就是半年多，只能几个朋友打了招呼，根本没有正式请过假，把闻一多这个中文系主任气得想杀人。
周赫煊此时见闻一多和刘文典上演全武行，那也是哭笑不得，说老师补贴说得好好的，怎么就打起来了呢？
与此同时，远处的山林坟地中，有学生问起关于周赫煊的情况，沈从文讲道：“说起周明诚啊，我跟他是老朋友了……”
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