066【褚二爷】
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郭德纲的单口相声里，有两段是反映军阀统治的，一段叫《枪毙刘汉臣》，另一段叫《白宗巍坠楼》，都是根据历史真实事件改编。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
前者的主角是褚玉璞和五姨太小青，后者的主角是褚玉凤和舞女金铎。
白宗巍是小有名气的画家，因兄弟吃喝嫖赌败光家产，他被迫流落到天津谋生，娶了一个叫金铎的舞女。
褚玉凤乃色中饿鬼，一见到金铎就迷恋不已。遂以购画为名，将金铎引到旅馆的客房内强占，金铎也不是什么良家妇女，半推半就便勾搭成奸。最后逼得白宗巍跳楼自尽，死前把整个事件写成控诉状，此案一时间轰动天津城，活生生的民国版西门庆和潘金莲。
“白宗巍坠楼案”发生在1927年初，此时的褚玉凤还没见过金铎，但被他祸害过的女子已经不少。
周赫煊从北平返回天津时，褚玉凤正在天宝班搂着美女抽大烟。
天宝班的姑娘虽然素质很高，但山珍海味吃太多也会腻。褚玉凤早就想换口味了，他对杜笑山说：“天津还有什么好耍的地方？”
杜笑山连忙应道：“二爷，天津城好玩的地方，你都已经去耍过了。”
“真是败兴。”褚玉凤过完大烟瘾，穿好衣服下楼，眼神在大街上到处乱扫，无非是想搜寻姿色出众的良家妇女。
褚玉凤身为褚玉璞的亲兄弟，他的任务就是驻守天津城，顺便追查搜捕革命党和赤色分子。上个月他看中一位已婚女子，便给其丈夫扣上乱党的帽子，足足玩了十多天才满意。
杜笑山也不是啥好东西，攀上褚玉璞的关系后，将天津八家慈善团体豪取合并，取名“八善堂”，打着慈善的幌子四处敛财。如今褚玉璞已经去前线打仗，杜笑山便转而巴结褚玉凤，帮着出了不少坏主意。
褚玉凤叫来几辆黄包车，也不说去哪儿，只让车夫满城瞎转悠。他们所到之处，街上的行人纷纷躲避，就好像是遇到了瘟疫。
“哈哈哈哈！”
褚玉凤放声大笑，他喜欢这种威风凛凛的感觉，比在战场上打仗有意思得多。
杜笑山立即拍马屁道：“二爷虎威！大帅让二爷坐镇天津，真是慧眼识英雄，革命党都不敢再闹事了。”
“就数你小子会说话。”褚玉凤受用道。
一行人经过新明大戏院时，褚玉凤突然喊：“停车，去问问老板，今天都有啥好戏！”
跟班立即冲进戏院，很快跑回来禀报：“二爷，今天下午是庆云社专场，陈秀华亲自登台唱压轴。”
褚玉凤纳闷道：“梅兰芳、尚小云俺是知道的，这个陈秀华又是谁？”
杜笑山连忙解释说：“陈秀华是谭派名家，对余派技艺也造诣颇深。他变声后嗓子倒呛，唱得没有以前好，所以名气也不如梅、尚二人。”
褚玉凤闲得没事做，便下车道：“走，进去看看。”
褚玉凤、杜笑山带着五六个跟班，大摇大摆进入戏院，也不用买票，反正没人敢拦。他们直接走到最前方的座位，跟班大呼小叫开始赶人：“快滚，别挡着二爷看戏！”
那些戏迷只得起身让座，一个个避到角落里站着听戏，心里把褚玉凤的祖宗十八代都骂了个遍。而戏院里的大姑娘小媳妇们，也要么赶紧离开，要么把自己的脸面遮严。
“狗x的龟儿子，生娃儿没得x眼！”李寿民低声咒骂。他好不容易放假跑来听戏，花大价钱买到最前排的座位，结果却被褚玉凤给霸占了。
褚玉凤横眉冷对千夫指，根本不在乎被人唾弃，反而非常享受那种称王称霸的感觉。
第一出戏唱的是《太平桥》，褚玉凤听得昏昏欲睡，等他一觉醒来，台上已经改唱《四郎探母》了。
那位杨四郎身材小巧，捋着长胡子唱道：“曾记得沙滩会一场血战，只杀得血成河尸骨堆山，只杀得杨家将东逃西散，只杀得众儿郎滚下马鞍……”
“咦！”
褚玉凤双眼放光，惊喜道：“这唱老生的，居然是个雌儿！”
杜笑山立即拍马屁说：“二爷好耳力，竟能听出是女的在唱。”
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