第三百一十一章 罗马来建交
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话说这一日的早朝没完没了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
秦峰带着刘备去大殿角落里面谈了谈心。
百官见到回来的刘备眼红落泪,都匪夷所思,心说癣多怎么了,病了?
汉灵帝见刘备佝偻着腰,就问:“你怎么捂着肚子,难道肚子痛?”
刘备疼的真心不行了,每一次钻心的痛,就会留下眼泪。疼痛中胡乱暗骂,我痛你吗个头,秦子进的手指头杠子粗,你让他对着你的小弟弟弹奏一曲试试?
刘备无言以对,好在秦峰的话赶的快,道:“镇东将军发现是一个误会,他十分惭愧,因此羞愧落泪,不敢见人。”
曹操和袁绍十分了解秦峰。
曹操笑道:“本初兄,此必定是子进贤弟又有新的整人手段。”
袁大头道:“看来一定十分惨无人道,整的流癣多不轻。子进这手段真是绝妙,毫无动静下,就能够将人整成这样……。”
刘备闻言,心里发苦,心说秦子进卑鄙无耻,竟然弹我,哎呦呦。他就想起,多年前,他经常弹村口光屁股小娃娃们的,弹红了许多,这真是一报还一报。
百官看到刘备又是不敢直腰,又是眼红脸也红,恍然大悟,“原来羞愧……。”
秦峰就适时说道:“刘大人的弹劾其实是一个误会,当时太多百姓来到街上看热闹,秦峰未免发生踩踏和混乱,就让刘备执法。刘备一直都是在街上,也就是在他的辖区执法,维持安定的治安,根本就没有进入臣的店面里。”
又道:“他这人小心眼,只以为秦峰是为了自己,才叫他出动的。他一点都没想到,这本来就是他的本职工作,若是他不出动。百姓岂不是就乱套了?”
他最后道:“我已经将癣多弹(谈)醒了。”
果然是弹醒了,刘备捂着裤裆,一阵哆嗦。
话说这逢年过节就有赶集,或是有人庆典。百姓就会看热闹。聚集的人多了,就会出现各种各样的事情。这个时候,官方就会派出人来维持秩序,这是负责的官府应该做的公共事务。并不能因为不想出动,就不让百姓赶集和庆典了。
百官和汉灵帝恍然大悟。心说有道理,
至于秦峰开华夏商会,没人当回事。因为东汉,没有法律规定官员不能开店。反而是有能力的,都开店。也好贩卖庞大土地上出产的各色产品。
汉灵帝不悦道:“癣多,这就是你的不对了,朕险些误会了冠军侯。”
刘备急忙道:“陛下,臣是关心朝政,但经验不足,好心办了错事。请陛下恕罪。冠军侯恕罪。“他一阵求恕罪,又重点提出他一切都是好心。
毕竟刘备的出发点是好的,又没有引起严重的后果,汉灵帝又有血浓于水的心情,因此就不怪罪刘备了。只是说道:“快向冠军侯赔罪,今后启奏,要深思熟虑,若是再发生这样的事情,定然严惩不贷。”
汉灵帝已经作出了决断,何进他们也就不好说什么了。
刘备急忙当朝道歉。对秦峰拱手一礼,道:“冠军侯,是下官的不对……。”
秦峰笑道:“无妨,弹醒了就好。”
百官闻言。一阵唏嘘不已,议论道:“冠军侯善谈,真是名不虚传。”
“你看他将刘玄德带到角落里,不一会就谈妥了。”
刘备闻之,止不住的哆嗦。他忽然觉着裤裆一凉,低头看去的时候。这才发下已经尿了。
百官看到刘备脚下冒水,震惊了。
曹操脸黑,出来骂道:“流癣多,不懂礼仪的东西,憋不住尿你可以请求如厕,竟然当朝撒尿!”
袁大头笑道:“难不成是被吓尿的。”
秦峰也是脸黑恶心状,心说吾靠,是不是弹的太重了。
刘备自己也震惊了,他不知为何尿尿都感觉不到,但他很快就反应过来,机智叫道:“非也非也,这不是尿,是流弊刚才一直弯腰,腰间带的小水囊破裂了。”
秦峰一琢磨,便感到一定是刚才弹的太狠,弹肿了后,就失去知觉所致。他立刻笑道:“孟德兄,本初兄,一定是尿。去搜了一搜身,看看水囊在何处?”
曹操和袁绍英雄本色,但也对这样的事情喜闻乐见,于是笑嘻嘻左右夹持住刘备,就要搜身。
对于刘备来说,若是被搜身,曹操和袁绍一喊没有,就露馅了。他当朝,那真是开了历史的先河,《史记》上一定会浓墨记载:流弊汉室宗亲,竟然当朝撒尿,大汉四百年未有,真无耻之极也,退出皇宫斩首。
他从而就是流传千古,遗臭万年的下场。
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