第三百一十三章 意大梨
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秦峰一愣,道:“孟德兄,刚开始喝你就醉了?还几天?”
“十几天?”曹操尴尬道。
“十几天?”秦峰反问道。
“几十天?”曹操脸黑了。
“几十天?”秦峰反问道。
曹操脸更:“到底多少天?难不成,子进你也不知道?”
秦峰哼了一声,道:“有一首歌,不知你听过没有,是这么唱的:有没有听说过十万八千里呀。”
“噗,什么,十万八千里,咳咳咳……。”袁绍当时一口酒全喷了出去,还一阵咳嗽。
曹袁刘三人吓的不轻,皆在席塌上蹲了个屁股墩。心说竟然有十万八千里,估摸着还没到,就死半路上了。三人就打了退堂鼓。
刘备虽然打了退堂鼓,但还是忍不住问道:“十万八千里。这么远?罗马的京城,到底在哪里?”
秦峰喝了一口小酒,回忆道:“罗马的首都,就是罗马城,是在意大利半岛。咱们找到了意大利,就找到罗马了。”
曹操眼睛一瞪,“咦大梨?”
袁绍大惊失色,就对曹操和刘备道:“二位贤弟,为兄听说过雪花梨,也听说过大鸭梨,不知道意大梨是什么梨?”
刘备也是震惊了,道:“半个岛都是意大梨树,这么厉害?”
见到曹袁刘三位枭雄整这个,秦峰顿时就脸黑了。他挖苦道:“对,就是意大梨,这意大梨特别好吃,实乃人间仙果也。吃了延年益寿,百病不侵。实话告诉你们,我此去就是找意大梨的,回头自己吃,在给陛下送一些。”
其实他在嘲讽曹袁刘,既然不懂可以问,非但不问。还瞎咋呼,还煞有其事的模样。
曹操等人不免想到,原来这就是秦峰去罗马的原因,原来秦峰子进是要去找意大梨仙果来进贡。讨好皇帝。
袁绍得知罗马极其遥远,他不敢想象其中的过程,就不愿意去了,就谄笑道:“子进,今日里,我府上来了两筐南方进献的大鸭梨。要不然我都给你把,我就不去找意大梨去了。”
秦峰不悦,他看出曹袁刘不想去了,这是在给他胡搅蛮缠。他生恐走后,曹袁刘三人在东汉搞“破坏”改历史。于是道:“你给我两筐鸭梨,我这边压力太大。”
袁绍急忙讪笑道:“贤弟若是嫌弃鸭梨大,我给你专门挑点小的鸭梨给你,你看怎么样?”
秦峰大怒,骂道:“本初兄,你脑残是不是?非要我把话说明白了?”他这就起身,道:“秦峰这就回去准备了,你们也早点做准备,早去早回。”
说完,他就甩袖子走了。
谁知,袁绍不是和秦峰胡搅蛮缠,他真心以为秦峰此去是去找意大梨仙果回来孝敬汉灵帝的。
袁绍见到秦峰走了,他被骂脑残,怒火就喷在了刘备身上,骂道:“癣多,你真是吃饱了撑的,还什么子进无利不起早?显然他是去找意大梨的,找个破梨有什么功劳。”
刘备面皮一阵乱跳,反过来埋怨,道:“冠军侯嫌弃鸭梨大,你就给他点小的雪花梨不就行了。”他伸出两根手指,“你还给他整两筐大鸭梨,这压力大的,两筐谁吃得了?吃一年都吃不完的节奏……。”
袁绍无言以对,大骂道:“十万八千里去找梨,秦子进也是操蛋,守着家门口的大鸭梨不吃,非要去找意大梨!”
刘备却有他的独到见解,就说道:“一定是我刚才说的,应该是冠军侯嫌弃鸭梨大,所以去找意大梨。这意大梨,一定是小梨……。”
此刻的曹操,简直要发狂了,骂道:“你们两个白痴,脑子我看真是秀逗了,什么意大梨,大鸭梨?你们现在还没明白秦峰的意思?”
“他什么意思?”袁绍和刘备道。
曹操冷道:“是他一个人去压力大,我们三个送上了门,他是绝对不会让我们退出了,要让咱们三个陪着去,好分担压力。”
袁绍和刘备恍然大悟,苦瓜脸。
曹操这时候就喊道:“掌柜的,掌柜的,小妮子呢,快送过来。本将军要双份的!”
刘备心疼钱,叫道:“曹将军,你为什么要双份?”
曹操一阵挤眉弄眼,道:“既然子进走了,他那一份就归我了,我鸭梨也是山大呀。”
“就是如此!”袁绍也唤道:“掌柜的,我也要双份的。”
刘备震惊了,“袁将军,为什么你也要双份的?虽然是刘备做东,但做人不要太无耻。”
袁绍不满道:“若不是你,我那里会请求这样的任务?本将军也是鸭梨山大,需要美人来减压。这些事情都是你惹出来的,活该你请。”
刘备气坏了,但无言以对,毕竟是他第一个蹦出来,要跟着秦峰去的。
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