第三百三十六章 敲闷棍的故事
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秦峰抬头的时候,就见到他的三徒弟沙悟净大呼小叫跑了进来。这段时间,秦峰满脑子都是西游记,见到悟净喊不好,他就随口道:“悟净,别喊了,师父没有被妖怪抓走。”
秦峰一个机灵,又道:“难不成,你二师兄被妖怪抓走了?”
“不不不……。”沙摩柯急忙摆手,道:“二师兄没有被抓走,是曹袁刘三人被抓走了。”
“哦,没有被抓走就好。什么?曹袁刘被妖怪抓走了?”秦峰马上震惊了。
少顷,当秦峰带着他的徒弟们来到原始部落中心祭坛前的时候,就见曹袁刘三人,被绑在祭坛四周的十字架上。而就在不远处,一群乌鸦已经对他们虎视眈眈。
这祭坛四周遍地都是干枯的血迹,还有散落的骨头。显然,这里就是原始人吃人的地方了。怪不得乌鸦们虎视眈眈,原来都在等着开饭呢。
孙策、马超、朱桓、沙摩柯各执兵器,护在秦峰身前。
而“劫”族酋长就站在祭坛上,祭坛四周围满了数百原始人,一个个义愤填膺,瞪着通红的眼珠子,要和秦峰拼命的模样。
曹袁刘见到秦峰来了,看到大救星一样。他们就在十字架上一阵蹬腿,叫道:“子进救吾,救吾!”
酋长的大腿骨头棒子没有了,他找来了一把巨大的石斧作为武器。呼呼抡了两下后。“不许叫!”
曹袁刘不敢叫了,但可怜的目光看着秦峰,分明还在大呼,“子进救吾”
酋长瞪着铜铃眼,愤怒对秦峰叫道:“大大。今天你要是不让小小的我杀了这三个人,小小的我就算是死,也要和你一战到底!”
秦峰还不知道发生了什么,他急忙道:“酋长,这到底是为什么?”
酋长就用石斧一指曹袁刘,“大大的您,问他们自己吧。”
秦峰立刻道:“孟德、本初、癣多,到底发生了什么?原始人为什么抓你们?”
曹操马上脸黑,狠狠道:“都是因为你!”
秦峰当时就不乐意了,道:“我怎么了我。原始人没抓我,反而抓你们?”
袁绍头大,他看着四周虎视眈眈的原始人,实话实说道:“子进,我们昨天敲闷棍去了。没想到,敲的是酋长的媳妇。”
“啊?”秦峰顿时比袁绍头还大,惊呼道:“你们怎么能这么做?你们还知道廉耻吗?还知道颜值吗?大汉多少美女等着投怀送抱,你们这么在这里吓胡来呢?”
曹袁刘一阵脸红,他们也是好几个月,顶不住劲。
这时候的刘备。大耳朵扇的跟电风扇一样,惊叫道:“侯爷侯爷,曹将军和袁将军他们说了,是你说的。原始人想找媳妇随便敲,敲回去就是自己的了!”
“什么?”秦峰嘴巴大张,惊秫的模样。
这时,曹操幽怨道:“子进,就是你在上次黄巾后的庆功宴上说的。为兄无比的相信你,却是落得现在这样的下场。”
秦峰面庞一阵抽搐。他回忆了一下,好像是在庆功宴上吹过这事。他眼角乱跳中道:“本侯是说过这样的事情,但本侯说的是母系氏族公社前的原始社会,而看这里的原始形态,已经是父系氏族公社了。你搞了人家的女人,人家还不弄你?”
“母系、父系?什么乱七八糟的原始社会,都是原始人,还不是都一样!”刘备哭丧着脸叫道。
原始部落社会分为好几个时期,大体有三个阶段,母系氏族,只知道母亲,关系十分复杂。父系社会后,就又知道母亲又知道父亲了。再往前,也就是母系之前,随便敲。
不论是母系还是父系,还是之前的随便敲,都是原始人的社会。秦峰当年也就是闲的没事给曹操他们侃大山,他也不是历史老师,也犯不着跟他们讲明白。
话又说回来,跟曹操他们讲这些,由于曹操他们没有这个概念和基础,也无异于对牛弹琴,
秦峰便感到,跟曹操这样的古人解释山顶洞的原始人和氏族公社的原始人的区别,就算是历史老师也不行。
他最终还是稍微解释了一番,道:“分三段,本侯说的是最前面的一段,可以随便敲。现在已经是第三阶段了,过去这段就和我们的社会差不多了,虽然也是原始部落范畴,但已经不能随便敲了。”
曹操脸黑如墨,叫道:“子进,你也不早说!”
秦峰也是气的不轻,怒道:“你他吗的也没问呀!”
曹操害怕又幽怨道:“还不是你骗人,说什么敲闷棍就是自己的了。”
秦峰大怒,叫道:“曹孟德,我教你个乖,就算是敲,你也要敲无主的,你敲了别人敲过的,别人能绕的了你?敲你媳妇,你顶得住不?妈拉个巴子的,老子还费心给你解释,这就是最终解释,你知道了吧!”
敲了别人敲过的!
这一下,曹袁刘他们彻底是明白了。
一时间,曹操脸黑,袁绍头大,刘备大耳朵猛扇,却是齐声尖叫道:“子进救吾!”
酋长虽然没听懂秦峰他们说了些什么,但听曹袁刘齐呼后,有所觉。他立刻举起巨大的石斧,叫道:“今天,有你们没我们!”
吼吼,数百原始人,一阵野兽般的大叫。
秦峰他们在原始人部落得到优待,是因为孙策的武勇震慑了原始人。现在曹袁刘彻底惹毛了原始人,数百原始人不要命杀过来,这谁顶得住?
秦峰顿时汗流浃背。
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