第六十八章 叫你哑巴吃黄连
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昏昏沉沉，也不知昏睡了多久，袁谭终于幽幽转醒。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
环视一眼四周，袁谭发现自己已身在一辆马车之中，晨光透过车帘照在他的脸上，有些刺眼，外面已经天亮。
袁谭微微动了动，想要坐起身来，突然下体传来一阵的痛楚。
那痛楚刺激着他的头脑猛然清醒，想起了昨天发生的一切。
“一定是在作梦，那一定是场噩梦，不可能是真的……”袁谭喃喃自语，不断的安慰着自己，颤抖的手缓缓向着裆下摸去。
空空如也。
一记惊雷，轰落头顶。
刹那间，袁谭头目眩晕，几乎又要晕死过去，万念俱灰，想死的心都有了。
悲愤、羞耻的痛楚感觉，如万箭穿心般，四面八方的扎向他的心头。
袁谭终于清醒认识到，自己已变成了一个阉人。
四世三公的高贵出身，名满天下的袁绍之子，竟然被那些卑贱的狗贼，实施了阉刑，变成了一个男不男女不女的废人！
一瞬间，他当真想一头撞死在车上算了，还有什么脸活着在这世上。
但他却终究下不了决心，毕竟好死不如赖活着，自杀这种事，不是谁都能做出来的。
他便只好忍着裆下的楚痛，沉陷在自杀还是苟活的纠结中，一路向着高密方向而去。
日过正午，高密城已近，前方已可以看见袁军连营。
离自己家的大营越近，袁谭心头的羞耻之心就越发的强烈。
他这个样子，还怎么去面对袁绍，面对袁家的那些文武部众，面对天下人。
袁绍是绝不会把袁家的基业，交给他这么一个阉人，他将彻底失去储嗣的继承权，从此成为兄弟们眼中的笑柄，眼看着袁家继承人的位子，落在袁尚的手中。
“我不能死，不能让人知道我被阉了，袁家基业是我的，我绝不能让给袁尚，我要活着，亲手把陶商那狗贼碎尸万段，让他求生不得，求死不能……
袁谭咬牙切齿，心中把陶商骂了无数遍，终于是打消了残存的自杀念头，决定苟活下去。
不知不觉中，马车进入了袁营，激动的袁军将官士卒们，纷纷赶来迎接。
袁谭只好紧咬牙关，忍着裆下的痛苦，佯装笑脸的走下车，前去大帐见袁绍。
……
大帐中，袁绍正高坐于上，不动声色的看着手中兵书。
帐前一众文武们，都在焦虑的等着袁谭的归来，担心陶商会食言而肥，得了战马却不放人。
唯有袁绍，却不动如山，丝毫没有丁点担忧。
“主公，大公子回来啦，大公子平安回来啦。”大帐外，响起了亲兵惊喜的叫声。
大帐中，众文武顷刻间陷入欢腾之中，个个喜不自胜，皆长松了一口气。
瞬间，袁绍苍老的脸上，掠过一丝不易觉察的激动，端着书简的手也微微一抖。
那激动只一闪即逝，旋即，袁绍便又恢复如常，依旧坐观兵书，没有一丝动容。
片刻后，袁谭瘸着腿走入帐中。
“儿拜见父亲大人。”袁谭低着头，一脸愧色，不敢正视袁绍。
袁绍也不理他，仿佛没有觉察到他的存在，依旧面无表情的看着兵书，直到把最后一卷看完，方才缓缓的放下竹简，冷冷的瞟了他一眼。
“我令你坐镇青州，你不得我号令，擅自入侵徐州，损兵折将不说，还被区区一个寒门之徒所俘，丢尽我了袁家的脸，你还好意思回来吗！”袁绍怒瞪着袁谭，毫不留情的当着众人的面斥责他。
“儿有罪，有辱袁家之名，儿……”袁谭又是羞愧，又是委屈，眼角竟还泛起了泪珠子。
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