94 圣歌
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
握住吴清晨的手掌,借着助力,安德烈轻松爬上,稳稳站好。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
和吴清晨一起重新抬起水坛,刚刚走出几步,说不出什么缘由,安德烈忽然微皱着眉头,轻轻吸气,回头再看了看泥阶,一下子觉得,这个平日经过时总会忍不住紧张一会的位置,好像忽然矮了许多。
从始至终,吴清晨眼角的余光,始终停留在安德烈身上。
“眉头往左下角皱”、“一边吸气一边回头”、“往右边仰头”、“忽然重重呼气”、“揪手指”、“咬下嘴唇”……
这是地球团队根据吴清晨和安德烈在同时出现在巨幕,总时长约57小时的视频资料中,分析得出的安德烈走神时的标志性动作。
注意到安德烈同时做出了“眉头往左下角皱”、“一边吸气一边回头”这两个动作,吴清晨马上开始地球团队为安德烈准备的下一波套路。
“对了……安德烈……”
吴清晨以一种乍听起来似乎是毫不经意,但实际上利用发音腔调和重音落点,最能吸引旁人注意力的语气说道:“……平时牧师布道的时候,你为什么要一直哼哼哈哈?”
“哼哼哈哈?什么哼哼哈哈……”
吴清晨“哼哼哈哈”了几个音节。
“哈哈哈哈……”
听着吴清晨模仿出来的别扭腔调,小安德烈忍不住大笑出声,脑子里有关“泥阶”的感触瞬间不翼而飞,“什么哼哼哈哈!你可千万别让牧师知道……我告诉你,那是圣歌!”
我当然知道那是圣歌!而且还知道你唱得不错!
吴清晨心中腹诽。
按照马屁学专家的理论划分:
马屁学未入门阶段——盲目拍马,毫无原则地赞美对象的一切;
马屁学初级阶段——扬长避短,忽视对象表现的缺点,赞美对象表现的优点;
马屁学中级阶段——搔其痒处,主动给对方提供表现优点的机会;
马屁学高级阶段——量身定制,提前安排好合适的情境,为对象量身打造出一个能够在众多人面前加倍表现优点的舞台;
马屁学终极阶段——无中生有,无论对象的缺点有多致命,优点有多薄弱,都能随心所欲,不拘于形,悄无声息间将之推动成光芒万丈、万众瞩目的焦点。
这套五阳绝学,马屁真经,用某舌术专家当时很惋惜的话来说:
吴清晨天资本来就不高,接受培训时代表根骨的“价值观”也已定型,又只有相当有限的时间修炼,不得不走上令人扼腕叹息的速成魔道。
因而,就算有“全世界鼎力支持”这样的莫大机缘,吴清晨此生也难臻化境,最多只能修炼到第四层便再难寸进,无缘得窥其玄妙的至高境界。
还好,此时此刻,有全世界鼎力支持的魔功灌顶,虽然根基不稳,吴清晨目前已高达马屁真经第三层中期的功力,对付面前这个中古世界的小孩子,想来还是可以利用境界上的巨大优势,稳稳地压过几头。
想到这儿,吴清晨催发功力,心神似现似隐,遥遥观想在地球模拟基地受训时的情形,演艺界、马屁界、参谋界等多方齐力灌顶的情境,瞬间沉浮飘荡,飞速旋转,由卤门而起,升至丹田,直冲念海!
等的就是这一刻!
观想到气势提升至最高的一瞬,吴清晨立即全力运转马屁心法,将之强行催发到目前能达到的最佳状态!
“圣歌是什么呀?”吴清晨偏过头,露出恰到好处的好奇眼神。
“圣歌啊……”这样的眼神,立刻极大地勾起了小孩子天性中的表现欲,小安德烈仰起头,以一种咏叹调的腔调念道:“圣歌就是真挚倾慕的诗篇,权柄荣耀的归属,慈爱公义的宣讲,敬拜主宰的歌唱!”
“喔喔喔……”
小安德烈颂出这一连串赞美的过程中,吴清晨身体微侧,嘴巴张开,神情专注,眼睛瞪得老大。
此刻,吴清晨脸上,这个地球培训时经历多次彩排,此时表达得极为到位的表情,如果发到地球的社交工具里,估计立刻就会有许多网民将它添加到表情包,再标上一个“崇拜”或者是“不明觉厉”的标签。
领先中古世界十几个世纪的高级“崇拜”和更高级的“不明觉厉”,立刻重重地击中小安德烈的心脏,使之虚荣心的满足程度瞬间冲上了顶峰。
小安德烈脸上的表情迅速扭曲,似乎想要尽力保持矜持,却又怎么也没法掩住那份发自内心的欣喜和得意。
火候差不多了……
吴清晨心中点点头,抓住机会进入下一个阶段:“原来圣歌这么……这么……这么伟大!就像……就像……”
吴清晨作出结结巴巴,冥思苦想的模样。
吴清晨没法不作出冥思苦想的样子!
若不是最近天天出没于教堂,哪位土生土长的村民,会闲着没事去学习什么“伟大”,去理解什么叫“伟大”。
“……就像最壮的公牛!安德烈,我还没仔细听过圣歌呢,你能哼哼哈哈给我听听吗?”
“……那叫唱!唱圣歌!”
高达三层的马屁绝学境界压制下,安德烈对这个送上门来的表现机会毫无抵抗力。
飞快地纠正一下吴清晨的说法,安德烈迫不及待地答应,“……好吧,我唱给你听……听好了啊……”
“主宰……
我仁爱的父……
我信仰的神……
我要向你尽情地歌唱……
向你献上最真挚的诗篇……
在你赐予的肥沃土地……
我深深地弯腰,拔出野草……
我重重地挥镐,翻开泥土……
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