第29节：丈母娘(29)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
一切都盘算得天衣无缝，可没想到，就在临行前两天，我突然接到我妈的”通缉令”：”新房的钥匙我拿到了，准备趁-五一-装修，你五月一号早晨7点准时到我家报到！”我妈一向和我分的清清楚楚，自从我结婚后，她就一口一个”你家””我家”的。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
我一听这不容分说的”霸王条款”，立马就急了：”啊？！我已经定了旅行团，五一早晨6点去中原旅游了。不就是装修吗？之前我不是把装修公司都联系好了吗？我爸和你都没什么事儿，你们盯着不就行了？再说，我6号就回来了，你们盯前几天，我来盯后两天吧。”我以为这样就能说动她。哪知她是存心找碴，不想让我和老婆过两天逍遥日子。
我妈在电话那边就象点燃的鞭炮一样传出刺耳的劈啪声：”我告诉你，大过节的，你就得在家待着陪我，别想一拍屁股走人，自己逍遥快活去，我再说一遍，你五一早晨7点准时到我家报到，哪儿也不能去……”
我当时血气骤然升至头顶，长期的拉锯战已经把我的神经和耐性磨损得异常脆弱，没等我妈说完，我就以更大的嗓音盖过她：”我和我媳妇从认识以来都没有出门旅行过，你们就知道享受——不带孩子，住大房子，又跳舞，又赚钱，逛欧洲，游埃及，我们就是傻子？现在好容易孩子大点了，也有人帮我们带孩子，我们就想趁这几天宝贵时间去附近走走，你还横加阻拦？你非要把我摁在你身边呀？我都已经结了婚有老婆孩子了！”
”好，是你媳妇儿这么说的吧！行，我找她说去……”电话那边传来我妈的歇斯底里声。
我不敢告诉我妈丈母娘和孩子要回老家，而是撒谎说和老婆一起出游，说实话，有丈母娘在我家坐镇，我妈是不敢太造次的，这也是我不想让丈母娘离开的原因，她就象森林里的大象，虽然没什么攻击性，但是体量巨大，不怒而威。往那儿一坐，颇能压得住阵脚。如果我妈知道她一旦离开，一定会倚老卖老趁机狠整我和老婆。那样的话，天下一定大乱。
正在里屋归心似箭收拾行李的丈母娘和老婆闻声而来，老婆一脸的惶恐焦虑。我颓唐地看着她，同样的无奈：”我妈在电话里又发威了，不让我五一出门。她还要给你打电话，快把你手机关了。”老婆一听，小脸煞白，顿时感觉一阵天旋地转，差点晕倒。我和丈母娘刚把她搀到沙发上，我的手机又响了，原本我不想接，但是一看是外地号码，就接起了电话。
电话是上海的舅舅打来的，原来我妈挂了我的电话就给我舅舅打电话告状去了，我93岁高龄的姥姥也跟着我这个舅舅，她居然也抄着上海话叽里咕噜地劝我：”五一长假，多陪陪你姆妈。”我真是好气又好笑，原本是母子之争，居然我妈还找来她妈和她哥做援兵，搞得这么兴师动众，拿百岁老太来压我一头。连一向疼爱我的舅舅也墙头草一般向着我妈说话，看来我妈一定恶人先告状，没少在我舅舅面前扎我的针。
我觉得有些事情必须要让他们知道知道了，不然我比窦娥还冤：”我和我老婆结婚三年了，孩子都快两岁了，我们还没度过蜜月呢，我妈也不帮我带孩子，一直是孩子她姥姥带，还是她姥姥想让我们放松放松，趁长假出去玩一次，舅舅，我都三十多了，还没有坐过火车呢，几乎就没有离开过北京，说出来我都嫌丢人，我都陪了我妈三十年了，我就出去玩5天怎么就不行了！？这不过分吧？！”
听到我说得这么恳切，舅舅也觉得我妈有点过分，答应帮我争取争取。十分钟后，舅舅的电话再次打来：”大家都各让一步，前三天你出去玩，后四天陪你妈逛建材市场。”他还说今年争取到北京来一次，看看我的孩子。我长出一口气，在我舅舅的斡旋下，一场飞来风波总算平息了。
第六部分
（18）
两天后的凌晨，我们全家踏上了南下的列车，第一次坐火车的感觉奇妙而新鲜，原来火车和地铁差不多呀。听起来也很滑稽，三十多岁才第一次坐火车，其实象我这样在北京土生土长，没有坐过火车的人大有人在，也许是生在天安门，长在红旗下的优越感让我们觉得没有必要离开北京，这里是天子脚下，祖国心脏，全国人民都纷至沓来，我们何苦要离开呢？之前，我甚至以为西安省的省会是陕西，搞得我那祖籍西安的岳父对着我的无知开怀大笑，要知道想博得他那一笑可真是太难得了。
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