第51节:丈母娘(51)
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
我家闺女见我百年难得一见的严肃表情,又看看平日里对她慈爱有加的外婆也一脸没精打采的样子,大概也多少知道点事情的严峻性了,她瞪着一双无辜的大眼睛,怯生生地对丈母娘说:”姥姥,我错了,我明天再也不这样了。更多小说ltxsba.com”
到底是我闺女,见风使舵的工夫一点也不比我差,我偷偷地给她竖了个大拇指。气氛已经比我刚来的时候缓和了不少,我夹了一筷子在滚头儿上的肥牛儿,带着十二分的恭敬和殷勤送到丈母娘碗里:”妈——您消消气儿,多吃点儿,您为我们牺牲了那么多!我心里最清楚,您是咱家的头号功臣,这家最离不开的就是您了。”我看着丈母娘开始动手夹菜了,我心里长出一口气——危险警报总算解除了一半。
然后,我又赶紧夹了一筷子羊肉送到岳父碗里:”爸,您最爱吃羊肉了,多吃点儿,这两年多来,您也辛苦了。”岳父看丈母娘态度缓和了,也顺风倒地接受了我的关怀。
最后,我夹了一张白菜叶给我老婆:”你爱吃青菜,多吃点儿。咱过咱们的好日子,别有个什么动静都往我妈身上扯,她也没别的,就是事业心强了点……”谁知道,我这一句掉以轻心脱口而出的话,就让之前搅尽脑汁的”巧舌如簧”全部功亏于溃了。我一句不该说的话,立刻招来了丈母娘的几十句来。
”什么事业心呀!?别装大瓣蒜了,她不过是舍不下每月那几千块钱罢了,要不干吗还非要你们给她买大房子呀!还动不动-事业心——事业心-的,蒙谁呀!一不是国务院总理——吴仪,二不是大集团总裁——杨澜,不过就是一份混饭糊口的工作罢了,也配叫-事业-,可真会给自己戴高帽子呀!她拿自个当根葱,谁拿她去沾大酱呀!要是这也算-事业-,那我也有,前天-女超人-还游说我出山呢!她们学校急缺经验丰富的高中语文老师,原本我推掉了,现在既然你妈占便宜没够,还要和我比-事业心-,那行呀——咱就比比!
”她不过是赶上了好时代,赶在文革前上了大学,我算点儿背的,上高中时赶上了文化大革命,接着又上山下乡,可是文革后我也考上大学了,还是边带孩子,边读完的大学,我容易嘛我?时代欠我的,我都咬着牙一点一点靠自己努力又挣回来了。就说她是大城市的,我们是小城市的,可我闺女也是正而八经分配到北京机关的国家干部,几千名毕业生,一共10个进京指标,我们要是比人差,能分到北京?她也不过就是比我们早三十多年分到北京的嘛!仗着投胎投的好,一出生嘴里就衔张上海户口,北京户口,我们那可是真刀真枪,一分一分考出来的!
”再说我50多岁为了闺女闯荡北京,不到半年就买房安家了,我比她差到哪儿呀!她在北京混了三十多年,想住个大房子还非要讹着儿子媳妇掏钱!又不是自己没钱!手里攥那么多钱,生带不来,死带不走,我看她最后留给谁!”
丈母娘抑扬顿挫,气壮山河的”演讲”已经引起了餐厅里其他吃客的注目,我真是悔得肠子都青了,要是抽自己两耳光能把我刚才说”我妈事业心强”的那句话再咽回去,我都一百个愿意。我还是太不了解丈母娘了,她心里的疙瘩不是我,更不是我闺女,而是机关算尽的我妈,我妈精明要强,丈母娘也绝对不糊涂示弱,两个强女人聚头,要不一”掐”到底那才奇怪!
我审时度势总算是搞清楚了状况,这时候我要是再插嘴,那就纯粹是找”抽”了。我只好闭嘴,听任丈母娘的”天鹅绒大锤”对准我”咣——咣”猛砸。总结以往的经验,我发现,每隔一段时间,不是我老婆就是丈母娘总要找机会发作一顿,而矛头永远指向我妈,自打我妈”占了便宜”后,她算是倒了霉了,每隔一段时间总会被老婆和丈母娘从一堆陈芝麻烂谷子的陈年破事儿里提拉出来,把她的那点”恶行”象”鞭尸”一样,不厌其烦地数落过来,数落过去,看来,谁的便宜也不是好占的,上帝是公平的,你在得到的时候同时也在失去。丈母娘数落完我妈后,通常还会把她们家族几十年甚至上百年的含辛茹苦,苦大仇深的经历象老牛反刍一样咀嚼一遍又一遍,让我把整个中国近现代史又重新复习了n遍,之前我从来不懂什么叫”人间疾苦”,还以为全国人民都象我们北京人一样欢歌笑语,又吃又唱呢!通过丈母娘我才知道了一点中国人的屈辱史,贫穷史,落后史,挨打史;才知道丈母娘他们这代人是从文革里死里逃生,大悲大苦过来的,要不是她给我补了这一课,我还以为文化大革命就是一场很前卫,很先锋的全国范围的集体行为艺术呢!
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