第53节：丈母娘(53)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
就因为这喝奶的事儿，我没少和她生气，原来的约法三章是只能夜里喝一到两次奶，可是有天晚上吃饭时，她却嚷嚷着要喝奶。龙腾小说ltxsba.com我说：”你要吃饭，不吃饭长不大。”她居然一本正经地用电视上的广告词来反驳我：”奶粉让中国宝宝更优秀！”因为是晚上，我有的是时间和她”死磕”，于是决定这次要把”原则”坚持到底：”不吃饭就是不能喝奶。”于是，她照例上演了一番”一哭，二闹，三打滚”的把戏，我决定用”冷处理”的办法，视她为空气，对她的无理取闹充耳不闻，视而不见。一会儿她偷偷地翻眼看看无动于衷的我，乖乖地来吃饭了，我暗自得意：今天我终于不费吹灰之力就占上风了。等她吃完一碗，我去厨房给她盛汤，也就一转身的工夫，等我回来，发现我喝水的杯子头朝下直直地就杵在她的鸭鸭马桶里了，而她居然还用一种挑衅的眼光看着我。我顿时火冒三丈，抱起她找准她的屁屁就开打，她马上又开始狡辩：”我不是故意的呀，我哪敢呀？我好冤枉好冤枉啊，我的青天大爸爸呀！”最近，我天天晚上被她折磨得睡不成觉，没有耐心再和她废话，一顿”噼里啪啦”之后，她终于顾不上狡辩，开始哇哇大哭。哭了十分钟后，她还不收场，依旧一把鼻涕一把泪。我又不好马上给她好脸色，就对她说：”哭吧，哭吧，哭泣有三妙，一省毛巾二省水，还能省香皂，早晚哭一场，省得用-大宝-！”她见我态度有所好转，就破涕为笑，还吹了个大鼻涕泡，向我道歉：”爸爸，我错了，我下次不把你的杯子放我马桶里了。”我一笑泯恩仇，她还不忘趁机向我勒索：”给我冲点奶吧，我流了那么多泪，都渴了。”原来，绕来绕去，绕了一百圈，还是为了从我这儿骗口奶喝。
晚上，丈母娘遛弯回来，她象找到了靠山一样蜷缩在姥姥怀里，一五一十地痛陈我暴揍她的”恶行”，丈母娘心疼地揉着她的屁屁安慰她，她为了巴结姥姥，就极尽谄媚：”姥姥呀，你真漂亮，你看我只有两个双眼皮，你看你，满脸都是双眼皮，比我还漂亮呀！”
丈母娘一听，乐得东倒西歪，都喘不上气了，家里已经好久没有听到这么由衷爽朗的笑声了，我心中暗喜，不由心生一计：如果我闺女再多来点儿”甜言蜜语”给丈母娘多灌点”糖水”的话，每准儿事情还有转机。
接下来的两天里，我一下班回来，就见缝插针地教我闺女。
”世界上谁对你最好呀？”我问。
”爸爸。”她不加思索地答道。我心里美滋滋的。
我老婆也急忙凑过来发问：”世界上谁对你最好呀？”
她看看我，又看看老婆，稍加思索地回答：”妈妈。”
我俩对视了一下，傻眼了：原来谁问她，她就说谁最好。自从上次说错话后挨了顿揍，她小心多了，懂得看大人脸色说话了，经常见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话，同时见人见鬼的话，她就满嘴说胡话。倒是谁都不得罪了，不过一个两岁多的孩子就这么油滑玲珑，可不是什么好事。
我赶紧纠正她：”不对，不对，一定要回答-姥姥。不管谁问这个问题都要回答-姥姥-，记住了吗？”
她若有所思地点点头，一会儿又不放心地跑过来问我：”那如果是奶奶问我，我也这么回答？”
她的这个问题倒是提醒了我：她已经不是一年前那个只会猛吃傻睡的小婴儿了，她懂得观察，也听得懂人话，而且还开始有自己的思维了，我们平时说话太不小心了，丈母娘上次的”发作”就丝毫没有避讳她，其实，她通过半懂不懂的只言片语和大人怒不可遏的神态表情已经隐约知道了一点”奶奶”和”姥姥”之间水火不容的现状。如果她在我妈面前再说些什么不该说的话，那动静就更大了，我就彻底众叛亲离了。那样的话，还活什么劲呀——干脆买块豆腐撞死得了。我们太大意了，外表看来，她是个不折不扣的-小屁孩-，实际上，她的内心有着超越年龄的思考能力和判断力，她的成长速度远远大于我们的预想。
我一把抱过她，郑重其事地说：”对，就算是奶奶问你，你也要说-世界上对你最好的人是姥姥-，因为姥姥为你做出的牺牲最大，当然，还有妈妈。小孩子要讲真话，-知之为知之，不知为不知-，如果遇到自己不知道该怎么回答的问题，就说-我不知道。如果奶奶问起咱家都发生了什么事情，你也要说-不知道-，千万不要再当-传话筒-胡说八道，惹是生非了，懂吗？”
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