第55节：丈母娘(55)
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岳父当年为了老婆在北京有立锥之地而被迫卖了家传的房子，此事一直是他的心头隐痛。更多小说ltxsba.com我们卖了房子后，虽然还了他们多半的钱，但是房价也早已扶摇直上，让人不敢奢望了。丈母娘是典型的传统中国人，手里有点闲钱，就想买房子置地。可现在他们手里的那点钱，放在五年前还够买个一居的，又攒了一年，反倒只够买个阳台了。
丈母娘一向”该出手时就出手”，说话间急急忙忙就想去取钱交定金，我心中焦急，上前阻拦：”您可得想好了，这画儿上画的可都是效果图，实际那儿可能连一块砖头瓦片都没有，又是两年的期房，周期那么长，虽说是已经规划好了，可现在的-规划-，就是纸上画画，墙上挂挂，不顶领导一句话！到时候一个政策下来，能不能盖起来都是两码事，就算是政策不变，因为资金断链的烂尾房也多了去了。退一万步说，房子没问题交到您手上了，可它离市中心还有几十公里路，这前不着村，后不着店儿的，您又舍不得打车，出门一趟多不方便啊！万一你们要是有个头疼脑热的，我们要去看您，那也耽误工夫呀！您说您买这么个海市蜃楼的房子摆那儿当画儿看呀！？”
我这么三言五语，正过来反过去的三说两说的，就把丈母娘的”美梦”给搅黄了，我也心满意足地去和老婆汇报”保姆紧俏，此路不通”的事情去了。老婆听了，倒是不急不慌——一副”羽扇动风云，四两拨千斤”的成竹在胸的模样。我一想，她是打丈母娘肚子里出来的，了解丈母娘的程度一定不比蛔虫差，既然她”皇上”都不着急，我这”太监”不是瞎着急吗？索性，爱谁谁！我也不急了。
晚上，我难得做好了一顿饭，岳父扛着大包小裹地就进门了，我们都很奇怪他最近经常整半天儿整半天儿地”蒸发”，不知道是到哪去了，萨达姆都找到了，还迟迟看不见他的影子。丈母娘更是直截了当：”你是闻着味儿进门儿的吧！一出门就是整半天儿，逃避做饭呀？我们前脚刚把饭菜端上桌，你跟着后脚就进门儿了。”丈母娘刚刚开始规划的”养老”图景一下子就被现实摧毁了，不免有些懊恼，正愁没地方发泄呢，正好岳父这个”替罪羊”及时地出现了。
岳父整天不是绕着菜场转，就是围着灶台转，他天性孤僻，爱好不多。不象我爸还喜欢围着”裙子”转转。”君子远庖厨”——谁也不喜欢整天被”烟熏火燎”着，所以一到周末，他就”溜之大吉”，直到家家饭菜飘香，他才跚跚来迟。
面对丈母娘的质问，他难得兴奋地指着那大大小小的药箱子：”今天被楼下的老年人活动站拉去参加免费体检了，我基本正常，就是血压，血糖稍稍偏高，人家还推荐了几种药，现在优惠——买两盒送一盒，好多人都买了五六箱，我钱没带够，先借了楼下老李1000多块钱，才抢了三箱，咱俩都能吃。都说效果特别好——降血压，降血糖……”
岳父自从出了一次车祸，死里逃生地捡回了一条命后，就变得格外惜命。他从来不用微波炉，因为害怕辐射，我用的时候，他就象躲避瘟疫一样避之唯恐不及。就连看电视，他都要眯起眼睛远远地”遥望”，我就差给他准备一个望远镜和防毒面具了。还有，他吃药比吃饭都准时，什么”五福心脑康”，”复方丹参片”，每天大把大把地送到嘴里当饭吃。上周他亲眼目睹了比自己年轻得多的”女超人”都得了糖尿病以后，更是疑神疑鬼，一会儿觉得自己血流不畅，一会儿又觉得心脏好象停跳了两秒。口渴了，他怀疑自己是糖尿病，水喝多了，他又觉得自己肾不好。总之，整天如坐针毡坐卧不宁，我们倒不觉得他身体有什么病，更担心他得了神经性强迫症。
（33）
第二天，我去看望我干妈。我别的不多，”妈”还是挺多的，这个”干妈”就是我一个哥儿们的妈妈，早年守寡，身边又只有一个儿子。前几年，我哥们儿执意要赶出国留学的热潮，还非”不列颠”不去。自从9`11后，最热点的留学之地就是英，法，德这些老牌的欧洲国家了。据说大款喜欢让孩子去美国留学，那些号称”学养深厚”的”书香门第”为了和普通”暴发户”划清界限，都迫不及待地把孩子早早地送到欧洲去，好培养他们的”贵族感”，毕竟要成为”贵族”需要三代人的不懈努力。既然哥们儿立志要从他这一代”改换门庭”，干妈也鼎立支持，拿出一多半的拆迁费，供他远渡重洋。临行前，他把寡母托付给了我，既然哥们儿这么信任我——没说的，我当即就认下了这个”干妈”。其实，说是”干儿子”，我也不过就是隔两个月去看看她而已。
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