第80节：丈母娘(80)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
岳父最近行踪诡秘，原来他一出门就是一两个小时，丈母娘因为总是抓不到他干家务活而大光其火。更多小说ltxsba.com自从他们准备回老家后，丈母娘心情大好，也不跟他计较了，岳父更加变本加厉，一出门就是五六个小时不回家，一回家就一头钻进书房闭门不出，还神神秘秘，鬼鬼祟祟的，也不告诉我们他在干什么，我们都猜不出他究竟是上哪儿神游太虚去了，一天到晚还挺忙活。
正在埋头走路的岳父一听是我的声音，不由得吓了一大跳，紧张而又诧异地看着我：”家里是不是又出事了?悠悠又-发疯-了？把你赶出来了？”看来，年轻时候，岳父没少被丈母娘扫地出门，不然怎么一下子就想到我是被老婆撵出家门的。
我呵呵一笑，也不着急告诉他事情的来龙去脉，先问他身上有没有10块钱，他连声说：”有有有。”就和我一起去kfc里要了两杯红茶。刚刚坐定，他就心急火燎地追问我：”这里就咱爷俩，没外人儿，快跟我说说到底是怎么回事？”
我看他那一脸紧张的样子，心里觉得好笑，就想趁机逗逗他，故意作出一副可怜巴巴，爹不亲娘不疼的样子说：”今天悠悠去参加同学会了，回家以后就鼻子不是鼻子，眼睛不是眼睛地教训我，说什么自古-才子配佳人-、-英雄配美人-，说她当年没有充分利用好自己的资源，结果找了我真是瞎了眼，她为我-亩产千斤-，到如今腰肢变粗，嗓门变大，蓬头垢面，青春失色；不仅没沾到我什么光，反被婆婆讹走了第一桶金，失去了投资的大好时机，还身心受到重创，差点儿一夜白头……”
岳父听得倒抽凉气，将信将疑地问：”那你妈呢？她就干看着你们两口子打架？”
我唉声叹气作出一副”孙子”样：”您还不知道我妈？这娘倆从来都是一个鼻孔出气——我妈把大腿拍得山响，说她的眼睛是当鼻孔出气的，自己千辛万苦地养大了个如花似玉的闺女，结果没想到还是个-赔钱货-，不光陪了自己闺女，还把丈母娘和老丈人您都给搭进去了，都没见过这种又当保姆又倒贴钱的丈母娘！早知道随便闭着眼把闺女嫁给她们同学里随便一个，现在也不至于还住在这种到处都是狗屎狗尿的二手房里……”
岳父听我模仿得惟妙惟肖，还真信以为真了，他恨铁不成钢地说：”这帮女人呀，就是眼皮子薄，头发长见识短，光知道跟人瞎比。过日子，只要自己觉得好就行了，何必在乎人家怎么看！我觉得能过上今天这日子我就心满意足了，没病没灾，有吃有喝的，神仙也不过就是这样了吧！这俩人还身在福中不知福，这山扒着那山高。走，咱这就回去，我得说叨说叨她，替你讨回个公道。都是你妈把她惯的，还反了她了，把大老爷们说赶出门就赶出门了……”岳父说话间就执意起身要给我主持公道。
这时候当然是不能回去的，我只好实言相告：”爸，您喝口水，消消气儿，刚才是我逗您玩呢！根本没那回事，悠悠她同学到咱家参观了，我是临时逃出来的。”
岳父一听，刚刚挪开的屁股又一下子坐在椅子上了。岳父和我一样，外强中干，也就跟我这儿嘴上瞎贫两句，其实他也不喜欢在丈母娘和我老婆的朋友同事面前抛头露面，基本上家里一有客人，他就借故离开，满街瞎逛游。所以从这点上看，我们俩还真像亲爷儿俩。不过，他还是不太明白我为什么也象他那样没底气，怕见人：”你又不象我这样一没学历，二没本事，用你妈的话说，就是烂泥扶不上墙，你出来躲什么呀？”
我一听，总算找到知音了：”你以为我这样的就算有学历有本事了？错错错！您也应该换换脑子与时俱进了，您的衡量标准还是三十年前的，用现在的标准看，我算什么——头发，没人多；长相，没人帅；挣钱，死工资；房子，二手的；车子，自行车！至于学历，现在咱拿杯水往外面一泼，那水浇到10个人里，有二个博士，三个研究生，剩下的五个，都是我这样的，满把抓呀！说起来，我还是一北京的呢！混得还不如人家外地来打拼的，我还是哪儿凉快跟哪站着吧，咱就不给北京爷们丢脸了。我现在想起当年我妈逼我掏钱给她买大房子，我就，我就气呀——别的北京孩子大多都是爹妈给准备房子，我倒好，还得给爹妈准备首付，她们俩住三房两厅，结果我们自己紧张得连孩子奶粉都快买不起了，老少三代挤在90平米里，我妈的房子倒像坐了火箭一样-噌噌-上涨，可我们呢？已经错过了大好的投资时机。我其实就是个在北京长大的外地人，一砖一瓦，一针一线都得自己挣出来！多亏有你们贴补，在关键时刻一次次借给我们钱，解我燃眉之急，不然，我连这二手房都没得住！我还有什么脸面站在她那帮同学面前！我自己都觉得臊得慌！”
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