第93节：丈母娘(93)
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
于是，我陪上一副逢迎的笑脸：”象你这样的美女，应该去当作家，-博客-对你来说，太小儿科了。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com”
”小叮当”倚人娇笑，秋波横流，当仁不让道：”你只说对了一半，我的文笔比长相好，不过我的眼光比文笔还高，-博客-和-播客-只是玩票，我的目标是当伟大的导演，拍牛逼的电影，让陈艺谋张凯歌统统歇菜去。”
她的一番豪言壮语，把我噎得差点没当场晕倒，总算是领教了一次大宝所说的”生猛”为何意。感叹时世变迁，70年代生人已然跟不上趟儿了。如今的女孩儿，二十出头，已成妖精，不仅个个怀揣章子怡般的信心和野心，而且已学会七十二变，上天入地，无所不能，行事像台风，不假思索，快来快去，走了之后，别人家破人亡。
大宝偷偷地冲我无奈地耸了耸肩膀，为了避免我再受刺激，他裹挟着”小叮当”借故到别处去了，留下我一个人在角落里发呆。
（53）
我百无聊赖地四下张望，才发觉林子大了，真的是什么鸟都有！比如今天来这里聚会的人大都是空手套白狼，妄想一夜”成功”的幻想狂。”成功”，是在这里听到最多的一个词，原本一个气宇轩昂的褒义词，从这帮妄图削尖脑袋走捷径的人嘴里说出来就大大变味，已经恶俗得要遗臭万年了。
一个戴眼镜的男人正在台上如痴如醉，振振有词地介绍自己怎样牛逼，一看就是靠嘴吃饭的，不说话，毋宁死：”他们说天才是99%的汗水加1%的机遇，而我早已具备了其中的99%，真正难办的是那1%。我需要的只是一个伯乐，一笔风险投资，来实现我卓而不凡的宏图大计……”这厮说话特有煽动性，一大帮人把他围成了个扇形，听得特别津津有味，其中也包括我。听他说话，让人觉得他就是下一个张朝阳，马云或者陈天桥，觉得下一个上市的就是他的”搜狗”，”阿里妈妈”或者”盛小”。
而那边，有一群男人正团团围着一个象极了杨二车娜姆的美女，挤眉谗笑，只见那女人留着齐腰长发，耳边别了一朵”媒婆花”，一张血盆大嘴眼看就要咧到了后脑勺，还自我感觉良好地扭着水桶腰，笑得花枝乱颤嗲嗲地说道：”我们女孩儿……”我又一阵晕旋，看她一脸的抬头纹象蚯蚓般纵横绵延，岁数一定不比我年轻，想来也一定在红尘中跌打滚爬沾染了一身泥巴，还硬要”老黄瓜刷绿漆”扮出一副娇痴顽呆之态，硬充出污泥而不染的尖角小荷儿状，开口闭口言称”女孩儿”。我真怀疑这帮男人是不是几十年没见过女人了，虽说现在男女比例失调，也不至于这么自暴自弃，连如此奇形怪状，惨不忍睹的女人也捧若天仙，也难怪”芙蓉姐姐”会一夜走红！
我实在不想再和这帮无聊的人多浪费一分钟了，就在人群中搜寻老婆，准备打道回府。找了半天，才发现老婆正被刚才那个一心一意要寻找伯乐的”眼镜男”缠住不放，她还傻呵呵地象无知少女一样，仰起头津津有味地听那个男人唾沫四溅地胡吹神砍，一副佳人仰慕才子的模样。老婆天生细皮嫩肉，白里透红，再加上有丈母娘三十年如一日的百般庇护，几乎未曾经历风雨，所以始终内心单纯，眼神澄澈，根本不象已婚已育的操劳妇女。那个男人一定当她是涉世不深的青涩少女，居然使出老男人吊小姑娘的传统论调：”我觉得你是一个很单纯的女生……”，我立在一旁打量着那个几近不惑的”男生”，感叹在这个自由的时代里，人的青春期拉得可真长啊！从”豆蔻”到”不惑”，居然可以绵延20多年。
我又伫立半晌，他依然口若悬河，对我视而不见，并且越吹越不着边际，一会儿工夫恨不得把自己说成是手眼通天的”太子党”的穷亲戚。我实在听不下去他一口一个”女生”地叫我老婆了，忍不住上前纠正：”都三张了，还-女生-呢……”他一定想不到，我这个已经秃了”半边天”的”半老头子”不仅是眼前这个”女生”的老公，而且还是”女生”的孩子他爹。他一定是嫌我多管闲事，为了惩罚我打断了他的谈话兴致，他扶了扶眼镜借机斜着眼狠狠地瞟了我一下，不耐烦地又改口称老婆是”女孩儿”了。我看他居然不把我这正牌老公搁在眼里，当面”勾引”我家娘子，给我明着戴”绿帽”，未免也太过嚣张了，就用胳膊一把揽过老婆，一脸坏笑道：”还-女孩儿-呢！她都-女孩儿-她妈了！兄弟，眼神不好不是你的错，可出来乱拍别人的老婆可就是你不对了，想泡妞？你倒是把眼镜擦亮点儿再出来呀！”在他瞠目结舌之即，我挽起老婆匆匆消失在了人群中。
一路上，我气不打一处来，对着老婆撒邪火：”你要是真想出墙，倒是找个-高枝儿-攀攀呀！让我也心服口服。你看看他，除了比我多了几根头发外，横竖还不如我呢！”结果那个不开眼的傻b直到晚上还频频给我老婆发短信，求证我是不是真的是她老公，气得我啪——地一下卸掉了老婆的手机电池。老婆意外地发觉原来自己还有意料之外的”吸引力”，不禁大肆得意了一番，小尾巴立刻翘上了天，非说我心里有鬼，本来就知道我配不上她——感叹自己一朵鲜花插牛粪上，好冤！害我花了一晚上的嘴皮子去安抚她：”-大海不选尘，好花不择处-，美丽的花儿，不拘开在哪里，都是一样美丽，女人历来嫁鸡随鸡，插哪堆-牛粪-不是插呀！没准儿，别的-牛粪-还远不抵我呢！越是我这种看起来臭不可闻的-牛粪-肥料就越充足，能让花期无限延长，你看，自从你和我结了婚以后还不是今年20，明年18的，一年比一年年轻！那还不全靠我这堆儿-臭牛粪-的滋养！”
[记住网址龙腾小说ltxsba.com]
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