第一〇八九章 心腹
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皇宫，撷芳殿。
太子寝宫外，跪了一排太监，就听到里面传来朱厚照的呼喝声：“不好玩，一点儿都不好玩，你们这些没用的东西，快给本宫找些好玩的来。不然我一个个点名，把你们拖出去打板子！”
太子威，苦的是下面的太监，东宫里宫女不是常制，朱厚照想找个“秀姐”交流一下感情都没机会，成天对着一群不阴不阳的人，每日就是上课、吃饭、睡觉，没有伙伴玩耍，整日里昏昏沉沉没什么意思。
尤其是在看完沈溪编撰的武侠械后，平日熊孩子沉浸在武侠械绚烂多彩的世界，跟现实的黯然无趣形成了鲜明的对比，再加上每个月都会有那么几天心情不痛快，朱厚照便开始撒泼耍浑，专门拿跟前无辜的太监出气。
张苑等几个身份地位高一点的太监在旁边战战兢兢地看着，心里很着急，如果不能让朱厚照满意，连他们也免不了遭殃。
张苑道：“殿下，要不出去蹴鞠？”
“蹴什么鞠？这天如此寒冷，出去冻死个人，而且你们一个个笨得要命，每次跟你们踢，连基本的配合都打不起来，有何乐趣可言？还有沈先生上次给我做的羊皮蹴鞠，被你们踢坏了，现在我上哪儿去找个能滚那么远的好宝贝？”
“你们这些不学无术的家伙，快给本宫想办法找乐子！”
朱厚照几乎是拍着桌案吼道。
张苑心中别提有多为难了，入宫前他就是个好吃懒做之人，吃喝玩乐的事会的不少，但现在是在皇宫大内，他就算想把自己擅长的吃喝嫖赌类的东西教给朱厚照，也缺乏实现的条件，他又没有沈溪那聪明的脑袋瓜和博学多才，能让身处深宫内苑中的朱厚照找到精神寄托。
张苑苦着脸道：“太子殿下，要不让奴婢给您学个狗叫如何？”
“你又不是狗，学什么狗叫？你叫的能有楔狗好听？”
朱厚照抓起地上的靴子，直接朝张苑脸上丢过去，“本宫是要好玩的点子，实在不行，你们去给本宫抓几个宫娥回来！”
“啊？”
张苑乍听到这要求，非常为难，但仔细一想，好像也就这办法比较靠谱，既能让朱厚照找到乐子，他们还能远离太子，免得时时刻刻胆颤心惊，屁股好少遭点儿罪。
朱厚照随口而出，连自己都惊讶一下，随即越想越觉得有理，理直气壮地喝道：“安么啊，就这么说定了！本宫将你们分成五队，每队出去给本宫抓两个宫娥回来，一定要漂亮的，身材也要好看，能完成任务，本宫就不处罚你们，如果完不成，每人打二十不，四十大板！”
张苑蹙眉：“殿下，在宫中掳人，这成何体统？”
“是本宫让你们去抓的，怕什么怕？父皇和母后现在都不管后宫之事，太皇太后身子骨不好，你们替本宫去抓，如果有人跟你们计较，就把本宫名字报出来，看谁敢造次！”
朱厚照雄睛里冒着奕奕神采，“记得，抓两个回来才够数，如果不够，就等着挨板子，如果抓得多了，本宫还会有额外的赏赐。以后本宫当了皇帝，你们就是本宫的左膀右臂！”
原本张苑只是想敷衍了事，可听到这话，心头一震。
张苑一直不知道怎么才能让熊孩子完全相信他，现在总算找到一条门路，既然熊孩子长大了，明白男女之事，那就不妨多给熊孩子找几个女人回来。这差事可不是人人都能做好的，需要脸厚心黑，而且做了这差事肯定能成为太子的心腹，以后飞黄腾达之日可期。
“太子殿下，您奴婢只能试试了！”张苑心中已在盘算怎么去掳人，如果出了事怎么交待。
皇帝藏，于乾清宫卧病不起，张皇后难产诞女后正在坐月子，周太后年老多病此时也无心过问宫内事，整个皇宫蹿无人做主的状态。
张苑心想：“法不责众，只要说这是太子强迫我们做的，即便皇后怪罪下来，最多只是打几下屁股，但若是能得太子的信任，将来太子有什么私密事都让我去做，那我就成为太子身边的红人！”
朱厚照煞有介事地点着他手底下的太监：“你你们几个，还有你你你，你们一队，这就去吧，最多半个时辰要找个人回来，如果本宫不满意，你们就得继续给本宫找寻。”
“张公公，你带着他们几个去，记得半个时辰，本宫要在这里等着你们，谁回来晚了就要挨板子！”
“哼，如果连这点儿新都做不好，以后别在本宫面前晃悠，干脆打你们去守皇陵，跟孤魂野鬼为伴！”
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