3549.第3549章 我也恨过你，真的
最新网址：m.ltxsdz.com
“家里是杀人不眨眼的地方，闭上眼睛永远不知道明天还会不会醒来，我从五岁那年就知道这个事实，尽管残忍，但却必须接受，十七年来我一直在支撑着，尽管下一秒也许就会被杀死，但我还是没有放弃，我那时一直在想，至少还有你，你还在和我一起坚持。最新地址ltxsba.info”
“最惨的那次，十一岁的那场野地突击，我了四枪，都在腿上，我以为我会残废，掉进河里的时候我也放弃了，真的好累，坚持也没有意义，反正都是一个死字，可我当时听到有人在岸上叫，他们说莫北焱在那边，冲过去就能找到他。”
“所以我爬上来了，忍着剧痛从河里爬上来，我很惊讶我哪来的力气，我也想冲过那片树林去找你，虽然我最后没有找到你，但我还是硬撑着没有倒下，结束的时候陈安进来背我出去，血流成河，我差点死在他背上。”
“我并没觉得痛觉得难受，好歹我们在同一个地方战斗，我不是一个人，所以再危险我也会保护好自己，再痛苦我也要坚持下去，因为也许冲出去就能。后来封家的长子告诉我，我的那四枪其有两枪是你开的，他亲眼开的。”
“我不信，他一口咬定，我差点动手杀了他，他说我迟早要死在你手上，我没有问你，是因为我相信你。”
“可是我错了，我坚持的是有朝一日能走出家人的掌控，而你坚持的是有朝一日能毁掉我。我以为你是我的亲人，直到你亲口说恨我。”
“离开七年，我发誓不再踏入美洲一步，因为我又下不了手杀你，又不想死在你手上，那太残忍了，连我都觉得残忍，我问陈安，为什么你能那么狠心？”
“我也恨过你，真的。”
房间内一片静谧，声音如河水般沉寂到心底，莫南爵望着窗外的夜色，他不是会这样吐露心声的人，这番话他从不打算告诉任何人，那时就连陈安也不知道。
这是心里话。
年少时幼稚的想法，却是最最真实的心声。
他早已放下了，早已不再恨他。
也许之前的也不是恨……是极深的失望汇聚而成的绝望。
莫南爵不想深究，也没必要深究，现在这样很好，真的，没什么比这样更好。
他知道有多重要就好。
他没再开口，也没问莫北焱是否在听，莫南爵轻阖上眸子，就听得耳边传来莫北焱压抑着痛苦的声音，“我……如果现在哭了，你会不会帮我擦眼泪？”
莫南爵嘴角轻勾，一脚踢过去，“滚！”
“爵，快帮我擦一下……”
“自己舔！”
“……”
哪有人舔眼泪的？！
莫北焱艰难的翻了个身，忍得实在受不了了会撞墙壁，有海绵垫在不会受伤，莫南爵按住他的双肩，将他拽过去冲冷水。
冰冷的水从头顶浇灌下来，顺着酒红色的碎发滴入眼睛里，莫北焱背部靠在墙壁上，咬着牙忍受，莫南爵站在他边上，身上也都湿透了。
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