第五卷：遗落战界_第1091章 血战八方（四更）
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群山峻岭间、繁茂古树巅，一位胖僧拦住了三人的去路，袈裟裹身、玉面大肚，佛珠挂手、笑容可掬，像是个弥勒佛。
老僧头顶六颗结疤，浑身散发着金光，活脱脱普度众生的高僧。
尤其是这句‘您幸福吗’飚出来，一种救苦救难的气概顿时爆棚。
唐焱怪异的盯了会儿和尚，把图图往头顶一放，右手猛地揽住许厌，左手拇指朝着后面杜洋一指：“老婆孩子热炕头，幸福！！”
“滚！”
“死！”
杜洋和许厌粗鲁的轰开唐焱。
弥勒佛笑呵呵的颔首：“看来施主生活不如意，不如贫僧给您指条明路？送您一场幸福的机缘？”
“多少钱？”
“只需……咦？施主，您这种思想是不健康的，不要用钱财来玷污佛门盛誉。”
“是吗？”唐焱戏谑的看着他，似笑非笑道：“假和尚你法号什么？”
“贫僧……咦？施主，你要是这么说，贫僧可就不高兴了。贫僧出身名门，来自净土，是为追随圣僧足迹，向世界散布爱的温暖。”弥勒佛满脸真诚，气质祥和，一副大慈大悲的宝相气概。
尤其是说话间，浑身金光熠熠，散发出层层佛威，直欲令人顶礼膜拜。
“你闲的跨疼？闲着没事tiáo戏和尚？”杜洋和许厌无奈了。
唐焱笑呵呵的向前走两步：“假和尚，你装佛弄僧，就不怕遭雷劈了？”
“咦？施主你这么粗鲁真的好吗？让贫僧来点化你吧，送你一场机缘，走向那极乐世界……”
“滚犊子！别废话！你从哪冒出来的？”唐焱啪的一巴掌抽在弥勒佛光溜溜的脑袋上，响的那叫一个脆生。
杜洋和许厌脸色一变，眼睛顿时瞪圆。
弥勒佛满脸悲愤：“这位施主，你太粗鲁了，让贫僧来点化你……”
啪！又是一巴掌，响亮的抽在弥勒佛脑袋上。“少给我废话！荒山野岭的，你为什么拦住我们？有什么目的？别以为剃个光头、披个袈裟，涂点金光就是得道高僧了！”
“施主！善哉善哉，佛说……”
“啪！！”
“你……阿弥陀佛，善哉善哉，施主，贫僧跟你说……”
“啪！”
“矮油？我去，你……额……施主，贫僧法号度峰，是尘缘阁……”
“啪！”
“你……施主！你太暴躁了，贫僧今天必须点化……”
“啪！啪！啪！”
“够了！有完没完了？！真当贫僧好脾气？”
“啪啪！”
“嘭嘭！！”
“我x，bi老子出绝招吗？”
嘭！！
一声巨响，弥勒佛嚎叫着翻腾出去，像是大虾般趴在地上，死死的捂住肚子，眼睛瞪得溜圆，浑身光-溜-溜的，只剩条裤衩。
“哪冒出来的？谁派你来的？！”唐焱翻了翻弥勒佛的衣服，从里面抽出一连串的红内ku、红肚兜，还有七八袋子金币，一股脑全轰在弥勒佛身上。
“大爷啊……你哪冒出来的？老头子我做个生意容易吗？至于下这么狠手吗？”弥勒佛直接哭了，蹲在地上哭天抢地，一边还把散落的肚兜和金币什么的往自己怀里扒拉。
“数到三，不然阉了你！”
“哥啊！！别啊！！咱有话好好说啊，贫僧……呃……不，我是那啥营销人员，给公会招揽客户的，这年头生意不好做啊，不闹出点花样没人信啊。”
“什么公会？敢假冒净土？”
“呃……生活所迫……”
“说！！”唐焱眼睛一瞪。
“极乐世界！！”
“在哪？”
“西北！一直往西北，八十公里！”
ps：到家就下午了，忙里抽空赶一章，实在抱歉，久等了！！/P
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