第五卷:遗落战界_第1091章 血战八方(四更)
最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com
群山峻岭间、繁茂古树巅,一位胖僧拦住了三人的去路,袈裟裹身、玉面大肚,佛珠挂手、笑容可掬,像是个弥勒佛。
老僧头顶六颗结疤,浑身散发着金光,活脱脱普度众生的高僧。
尤其是这句‘您幸福吗’飚出来,一种救苦救难的气概顿时爆棚。
唐焱怪异的盯了会儿和尚,把图图往头顶一放,右手猛地揽住许厌,左手拇指朝着后面杜洋一指:“老婆孩子热炕头,幸福!!”
“滚!”
“死!”
杜洋和许厌粗鲁的轰开唐焱。
弥勒佛笑呵呵的颔首:“看来施主生活不如意,不如贫僧给您指条明路?送您一场幸福的机缘?”
“多少钱?”
“只需……咦?施主,您这种思想是不健康的,不要用钱财来玷污佛门盛誉。”
“是吗?”唐焱戏谑的看着他,似笑非笑道:“假和尚你法号什么?”
“贫僧……咦?施主,你要是这么说,贫僧可就不高兴了。贫僧出身名门,来自净土,是为追随圣僧足迹,向世界散布爱的温暖。”弥勒佛满脸真诚,气质祥和,一副大慈大悲的宝相气概。
尤其是说话间,浑身金光熠熠,散发出层层佛威,直欲令人顶礼膜拜。
“你闲的跨疼?闲着没事tiáo戏和尚?”杜洋和许厌无奈了。
唐焱笑呵呵的向前走两步:“假和尚,你装佛弄僧,就不怕遭雷劈了?”
“咦?施主你这么粗鲁真的好吗?让贫僧来点化你吧,送你一场机缘,走向那极乐世界……”
“滚犊子!别废话!你从哪冒出来的?”唐焱啪的一巴掌抽在弥勒佛光溜溜的脑袋上,响的那叫一个脆生。
杜洋和许厌脸色一变,眼睛顿时瞪圆。
弥勒佛满脸悲愤:“这位施主,你太粗鲁了,让贫僧来点化你……”
啪!又是一巴掌,响亮的抽在弥勒佛脑袋上。“少给我废话!荒山野岭的,你为什么拦住我们?有什么目的?别以为剃个光头、披个袈裟,涂点金光就是得道高僧了!”
“施主!善哉善哉,佛说……”
“啪!!”
“你……阿弥陀佛,善哉善哉,施主,贫僧跟你说……”
“啪!”
“矮油?我去,你……额……施主,贫僧法号度峰,是尘缘阁……”
“啪!”
“你……施主!你太暴躁了,贫僧今天必须点化……”
“啪!啪!啪!”
“够了!有完没完了?!真当贫僧好脾气?”
“啪啪!”
“嘭嘭!!”
“我x,bi老子出绝招吗?”
嘭!!
一声巨响,弥勒佛嚎叫着翻腾出去,像是大虾般趴在地上,死死的捂住肚子,眼睛瞪得溜圆,浑身光-溜-溜的,只剩条裤衩。
“哪冒出来的?谁派你来的?!”唐焱翻了翻弥勒佛的衣服,从里面抽出一连串的红内ku、红肚兜,还有七八袋子金币,一股脑全轰在弥勒佛身上。
“大爷啊……你哪冒出来的?老头子我做个生意容易吗?至于下这么狠手吗?”弥勒佛直接哭了,蹲在地上哭天抢地,一边还把散落的肚兜和金币什么的往自己怀里扒拉。
“数到三,不然阉了你!”
“哥啊!!别啊!!咱有话好好说啊,贫僧……呃……不,我是那啥营销人员,给公会招揽客户的,这年头生意不好做啊,不闹出点花样没人信啊。”
“什么公会?敢假冒净土?”
“呃……生活所迫……”
“说!!”唐焱眼睛一瞪。
“极乐世界!!”
“在哪?”
“西北!一直往西北,八十公里!”
ps:到家就下午了,忙里抽空赶一章,实在抱歉,久等了!!/P
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