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最新网址:m.ltxsdz.com

一、半逼江山

“当时有个颜值九十分,身高一米八,还踩着恨天高的大美女向我走来!你们知道的,这个身材的女生多有压迫感,我当时就感觉……她肯定是要强奸我!我正在琢磨是乖顺一点呢,还是略作反抗,增加情趣……”

“然后你就醒了是吧?”

吴文辉一拍大腿,叫道:“我是真的见到了这么一个高个儿大长腿的妹子,你们别不信啊!”

寝室里八个男生有七个在起哄,吴文辉反驳的声音,在七声道的立体声浪里,没翻几个浪花就被淹没了。网址找回邮件:ltxsba@gmail.com

吴文辉绰号北京大学计算机系的半逼江山,据说计算机系的一半逼都给他装了,这个绰号的由来,还有一个小故事……

当时寝室里有个兄弟失恋,女朋友被某个高帅富撬了,整天表演泰坦尼克号,露丝看杰克滑落海底的丧爱哭啼。他实在看不下去自己兄弟为了爱情蹉跎掉人生,主要是打游戏,看书,做各种需要安静工作的时候,总有一个背景音:一个窝囊吧唧的男子抽泣,哽咽,哼哼,不断叫:阿颜,阿颜,阿颜……特么慎得慌,就给自家兄弟出了一个主意。

这个主意非常之“馊八”!

他花了两个月的生活费,去北科大找了一个国际交换生,一个典型的北欧妹子,皮肤白嫩如牛奶,五官精致如古典名画,身材高挑,乳挺臀翘,气势还特别盛,直接闯入了两人都要上的大课堂,当场给了他兄弟一记耳光。

一个快九十九分的外国美女当场给了一个男生耳光,那种轰动还用吆喝了?

这次的耳光事件,立刻就引发了国际级的关注,连外国留学生都伸着脖子往事件中心瞅,围观者还默契的自动静音,就想要知道究竟是啥八卦。

这名来自北欧的大美人儿,打了吴文辉寝室的失恋兄弟一记耳光之后,就梨花带雨狂飙哭戏,楚楚可怜又有几分倔强,那种演技就连吴文辉这个始作俑者都怀疑自己是不是找错了学校,把北影的学生妹找来了。

外国大美妞的哭泣,杀伤力实在太强大,当场就有人想要打抱不平,好几个英雄大人次序出场,仗义执言,刚把气氛烘托起来,北欧妹子就用带有明显斯堪的纳维亚腔调的汉语,字正腔圆说道:“我们林奈家族为了百年家族企业的股份,要把我嫁给你,每次想到这件事,我就想捂住耳朵不让眼泪掉下,但是我绝不同意,我宁可……宁可……”

北欧妹子的话掷地有声,但明显汉语不大过关,不但有点分不清五官,关键时刻居然还忘词了,然后……她就又气愤填膺给了那兄弟一耳光。

这位外国大美妞如此刚烈,顿时引发了无数人疯狂打call。

……很快也有人咂摸出来味道,原来这个兄弟扮猪吃虎,看着窝囊,但实力不俗啊!能够收购林奈家族,虽然谁也不知道这个林奈家族是什么玩意儿,可每个人都觉得这货好生厉害,必然是个阴性富二代。

每个人望向这位兄弟的眼神都不对劲了,包括他的那位“前任Babygirl”。

本来吴文辉两个月生活费买的戏,到这里就完了,但是他没有想到,这个北欧女孩儿抽了他兄弟两记耳光之后,居然还加了戏,大声说道:“我这就选一个最猥琐的男人,我那乔戈里峰一般雪白的身体,宁可给一个陌生的猥琐男人,也不会让你动一根手指头!”

“一根手指头!”五个字,北欧妹子是一字一字吼出来的,特别有气氛!让围观的好多男生,情不自禁的想到一个叫做加藤鹰的手工匠人。

当时几乎所有自觉“小帅”的男同学都深恨爹妈给了一张太帅的脸,所有长的难看的男同学都集体高潮了,都想起来诸如“天生我才必有用,太监也能上**。玫瑰终有凋零日,狗尾巴花也能草春天。”这些深含哲理的话语。

好几个人当场就想在自己脸上写下“猥琐”二字,甚至有人还想到了如何最快的弄一件印有猥琐字样的文化衫,证明自己是真品!一些头脑比较彪悍的男同学差点为了争夺在场的雄性谁长的最猥琐打起来。

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